My Deskmate is Not Human​ - Chapter 8

Cold sweat instantly soaked my back.

I began to subconsciously avoid contact with him, even going out of my way to keep away from him. When my biweekly vacation finally came, I breathed a sigh of relief.

But when I took the bus home-

I still saw him.

He was wearing the blue and white school uniform, standing obediently at the door.

He seemed to have been waiting for a long time, eyes lowered, looking at me standing on the stairs with innocent confusion.

Yet those eyes, black as night, sent chills down my spine.

As I nervously turned to escape, Shen An suddenly grabbed my wrist, pinning me between the wall and his chest. He leaned down, confusion and dissatisfaction written on his face as he questioned me.

“Am I not good-looking anymore?

“Why won’t you look at me?”

A gentle breeze drifted in from the slightly open stairwell window.

The boy’s cool, long hair fell across my face.

I didn’t answer. I lowered my head.

The setting sun in the stairwell stretched out my shadow.

But he had none.

Shen An held my face, making me look at him.

His expression was sickly and frail, his clean and pleasant voice lowering as if deeply saddened by the way I had been ignoring and avoiding him these past days.

“You used to secretly watch me.”

The corners of his eyes reddened. Insecure, he spoke softly:

“Did I make you angry?”

I did used to notice Shen An without meaning to. He was withdrawn but well-behaved, always sitting alone in a corner-so much like me.

So I always felt sorry for him.

I wanted to muster up the courage to be his friend.

His tone carried grievance.

“Shen An.”

My heart softened a little. My throat was dry as I rasped, “You’re not human, are you?”

The boy froze, then nodded lightly, stubbornly defending himself in a soft voice: “Everyone dies and becomes a ghost.”

Yes, he had once been human.

And when I die, I’ll become a ghost too.

Besides, Shen An had died so young.

Realizing this,

The fear in my heart faded a bit,

Turning into a kind of tenderness toward him.

“Do you hate me now?”

He held my wrist, guiding my hand to touch his face, nuzzling into my palm.

I wiped the bloody tears from the corner of his eyes with my fingertips, unable to stand seeing him cry, and gently hugged him.

“Don’t cry, Shen An.

“You didn’t make me angry.

“I don’t hate you.”

“Then why are you ignoring me?”

Shen An took the chance to wrap his arms around my waist, hugging me tightly. He lowered his head, burying it in my shoulder, putting on a pitiful, miserable act, sobbing in accusation.

I looked up at him from his arms and explained seriously.

“I’m a normal person. It’s my first time encountering something like this. It’s only natural to be a little scared, Shen An.

“Now that we’ve talked it out, it’s fine.

“I’ll talk to you, okay?

“So don’t cry, Shen An.”

The boy stopped crying. His beautifully cold face was streaked with chilling blood tears, making his skin appear even paler. In a muffled voice, he promised:

“I won’t hurt you.

“But you can’t ignore me either.”

“Okay, Shen An.”

I pulled a small pack of tissues from my school uniform pocket, wiping the blood from his face as I coaxed him gently:

“Shall we go inside?”

I opened the door, and he followed close behind me, step by step.

“Shen An, was that strange gaze always watching me from afar-was that you?”

I pushed him down onto the sofa. He lowered his head, clinging tightly to my hand, silent.

I squatted down to look at his expression.

Shen An pressed his red lips together, nodded anxiously.

“Why were you watching me?”

I frowned, puzzled.

The cold white tips of his ears flushed crimson, his long lashes trembling lightly.

“I like looking at you.”

“Huh?”

His words sounded almost like a confession-so sudden that, inappropriately, I remembered that deep kiss in my dream that night.

My cheeks grew a little warm.

A bit flustered, I tried to get up, but he held my hand tightly.

“You’re a good person.”

Shen An said softly, staring at me without blinking.

“Oh, um…

“Shen An, you are too.”

I replied at random, averting my gaze to the glass of water on the table, its shadow painted a clear orange by the evening light.

Trying to lighten the mood, I joked, “Is this today’s good person card? Thank you, Shen An.”

“What about you?”

Shen An seemed unwilling to play along.

He pulled me up onto the sofa, his long, beautiful hands braced on either side of me, leaning in close. Like a pitiful puppy, he looked up at me with pleading eyes.

“Don’t you like me?”

My heart skipped a beat. I answered softly:

“I-I do like you.

“Shen An is nice and quiet, anyone would like you.”

I lowered my eyes, avoiding his gaze. But he held my hand with one of his, and with the other, brushed aside the stray hair around my ear.

His fingers brushed my earlobe, which had a drop of blood on it-cool and ticklish.

“Class monitor.”

He kneaded my earlobe, emphasizing:

“That’s not the kind of ‘like’ I mean. I mean the kind of liking where your heart stirs-do you feel that way?”

“I don’t know, Shen An.”

The boy’s expression dimmed. I thought seriously for a moment, then stroked his head and said:

“But I do blush, my heart races… I think I do have a bit of a crush on you.”

“Then let me help you find out for sure.

“May I?”

He whispered. Meeting my confused gaze, he gently kissed the corner of my lips.

My mind went blank. My face flushed deeper, and all I could hear was the pounding of my own heart.

“Do you hate it?”

I came to my senses, my fingertips trembling as I shook my head slightly.

“So do you like it?”

Shen An asked gently. As I hesitated, he slowly intertwined his fingers with mine, holding my hand tightly, palm to palm.

When I realized and looked at him-

The boy blinked innocently, his beautiful peach-blossom eyes still red from crying. The little blue mole beneath his eye gave him a cold allure.

“Do you like me, class monitor?”

He lowered his voice, like a seductive spirit drawing out my soul.

As if, if I didn’t answer, he would keep asking me this, entangling me endlessly.

“A little…”

“Then could you like me a little more? Please?”

Shen An’s eyes curved sweetly. He cupped my cheeks, kissing my brow and eyes in a pampered way, clinging to me for another kiss.

The golden sunset melted on the horizon, dusk and clouds blending.

The cold aura around the boy faded a lot.

But still-

The hand he rested on my neck remained icy cold.