00s Regulate the Harem - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Word of my glorious battle against the Evil Mother-in-law spread through the entire harem in no time.

When the Emperor heard about it, he was furious. So furious, in fact, that he withdrew the imperial edict punishing me with half a year of vegetarian meals.

He even hired chefs from eight different cuisines for the little kitchen in my palace. I suspected he was trying to feed me to death.

On top of that, he secretly increased the Empress’s monthly allowance.

All of that was fine. The terrifying part was when a eunuch came to pass on a message: His Majesty would be sleeping here tonight.

Absolutely unnecessary, brother!

A dirty cucumber was not a reward. It was a punishment.

I refused on the spot. “Aunt Flo is here. It’s inconvenient.”

The Emperor understood. He didn’t come that night.

Instead, he sent people to carry my Aunt here.

One look at my Aunt and me, and anyone could tell we were family. We both had faces blessed with fortune.

My Aunt cheerfully pulled an oil-paper parcel out from her robes. “Your favorite beggar’s chicken. Your mother made it herself in a rush. This is the first time you’ve summoned anyone from your maiden family since you married. Your parents were so jealous of me.”

It took an hour to enter the palace from the capital. The autumn wind was chilly and sharp, yet when I bit into the beggar’s chicken, it was still warm.

The original owner of this body had been cherished by her family since childhood, but after entering the palace, everyone bullied her, and she hadn’t even dared to see her own family.

My throat tightened a little.

“Do you have enough money to spend?” my Aunt asked. As she spoke, she began taking the gold ornaments out of her hair. After finishing with her hair, she pulled rolls of banknotes from her sleeves. Once her sleeves were empty, she started taking off her socks. “I brought plenty for you. I was afraid you wouldn’t have enough.”

Xiaoying and I stared, dumbfounded.

The second she was about to reach into her dudou, I decisively stopped her. “That’s enough, Aunt. Really, it’s enough.”

My Aunt reluctantly stopped and said with heartache, “You’ve been a delicate little princess since you were a child. So frail you could barely stand a breeze. When have you ever suffered like this? Look at you, you’ve lost so much weight.”

I lowered my head and looked at my own pleasantly rounded figure.

This was me after losing weight?

Overcome with emotion, my Aunt’s eyes even reddened. “If you can keep doing this Empress job, then do it. If you can’t, fire the Emperor and come back to the Zhu Family, where we’ll spoil you properly, all right?”

I was deeply moved-and deeply shaken.

Fire the Emperor?

Apparently, the harsh words I’d thrown at the Empress Dowager hadn’t been harsh at all.

As reluctant as I was, I didn’t let my Aunt stay long. After all, the harem was not a clean place.

After my Aunt left, the Emperor paid a return visit.

“I made an exception and allowed your maiden family to visit you. Are you comforted now?”

I picked up a piece of mung bean cake and chewed. “So-so.”

The corner of the Emperor’s mouth stiffened. He endured it and continued flattering me. “I hear your Aunt is nearly thirty and still unmarried. I intend to arrange a marriage for her. I have selected a few suitable ministers. Why don’t you take a look?”

It would have been better if I hadn’t looked. The moment I did, I was furious.

The men in the portraits were either in their forties or fifties. If they didn’t have big bellies, they were bald. If they weren’t divorced, they were widowed. Some had packs of little brats, and the rest were ugly beyond description.

I asked him, “Are you trying to murder my Aunt?”

The Emperor frowned, about to fly into a rage.

I was so angry I almost laughed. “My Aunt is the Third-in-command of Zhu Clan. She manages over a thousand shops. She has money, she has looks, and she’s so busy counting silver every day she barely has time for anything else. And you want her to marry some old man, serve him, and help him raise his children? What kind of social custom forces people into charity work? Don’t tell me you actually think that no matter who a woman marries, as long as she’s married off, it’s the greatest blessing of her life?”

The Emperor’s nostrils flared with anger. After holding it in for a long while, he finally said, “Aren’t you afraid the world will point fingers at your Aunt and say she’s goods no one wants?”

I rolled my eyes so hard they nearly vanished. “My Aunt isn’t married because she doesn’t want to marry. If other people want to point fingers, that’s because they’re cheap. What does their cheapness have to do with my Aunt? Raise the price of pork by fifty cents and they’ll behave.”

The Emperor had probably never been this furious in his life while also being unable to argue back. He flung his sleeve and walked toward the bedchamber.

I immediately became alert. “What are you doing?”

With a livid face, the Emperor said, “I am going to bed.”

I knew exactly what he was trying to do.

He simply wanted the Zhu Family to think he favored me, so he could keep them stable.

I refused to indulge him in the slightest. “Go sleep with Consort Ying.”

The Emperor was already on the verge of breaking down. He shouted, “I will sleep here! You are the Empress. You have a duty to attend me in bed!”

“Attend you in bed, is it? A duty, is it?” I rolled up my sleeves and advanced on him.

The candlelight cast our shadows on the wall. Mine was a large, solid mass. The Emperor’s was a thin little strip, and it even seemed to be trembling.

I reached out and gave him a gentle push. The Emperor was forced to fall back onto the bed.

He swallowed, his expression a blend of the awkwardness and humiliation of a courtesan receiving a client for the very first time.

I kicked off my pearl-embroidered shoes, launched myself onto the bed, and straddled him. “I’ll let you attend to me until you’ve had enough!”

My backside plummeted at high speed, accompanied by the crisp crack of bone. Immediately after came a weak scream.

All color drained from the Emperor’s face, veins bulging at his temples. “Zhu Yurun, my waist… it’s broken…”