After an Alien Took My Husband's Place - Chapter 3

The commenters rushed in for the gossip.

> Details? How did your wife react?

The poster was completely serious:

> During seduction, Wife’s eyes fluttered once. She froze for 26 seconds. Before intimacy, Wife blushed for 113 seconds, accompanied by an audible heartbeat.

The commenters were stunned.

> Bro, were you born a stopwatch?

> OP sounds like the type to follow scientific data to the letter while doing the deed, and refuse to stop until his wife makes the approved facial expression…

> Damn. That’s kind of hot.

> This is so bizarre I’m starting to think it’s some kind of social experiment.

> She’s obviously shy, isn’t she? Surely she wasn’t red with rage. Have you already won her over and you’re just here to flex?

The poster kept playing dumb.

> No. Wife has rejected me.

> Human data indicates that humans are more likely to produce oxytocin while engaging in [censored].

> This substance can facilitate intimate bonds and deepen attachment.

> Can [censored] be used to stabilize a marriage?

Thinking of the mess my own day had been, I couldn’t stand watching this guy act hard done by when he had it so good.

My evil alter ego took over the keyboard. I needled him on purpose:

> Then your wife just doesn’t love you. You’ve got a marriage in name only.

> You don’t need feelings or a sex life for that. Works out great, doesn’t it? All you need is a human identity, Alien Guy.

The other commenters joined in the mischief.

> No no no, maybe she turned you down because she’s realized something’s wrong with you, alien bro.

> What were you going to do if she noticed? Oh, right. Take action to eliminate the threat~

The poster was presumably pretending to crash.

It took him a while to produce a stiff reply:

> Wife’s brow is relaxed. The curve of her lips is gentle. She is unlike other humans. Further observation is possible.

> Taking action may prompt Bureau intervention and should be avoided where possible.

The commenters lost it.

> Didn’t you say the Bureau had no authority over you? You’re breaking character, Alien Guy. Docking your pay.

> Alien Guy the first time he sees Wife smile: looking_for_a_wife.jpg

> Considering your situation, what’s wrong with getting so carried away you forget the world exists? My advice: go straight for the forced-love trope. Just a little spice.

I chimed in with nonsense of my own.

> Well, I want a hero who lives to please.

> The kind who asks his wife’s permission for everything, then treats her so well she’s dizzy and can’t bear to leave him.

> That’s the kind of modern man everybody wants!

But the poster never replied again.

With the entertainment over, I turned off my screen and went to sleep.

Before long, I woke with a parched mouth.

I wanted to get a glass of water from the kitchen island. When I opened the door, I found the living-room lights still blazing.

Tan Yao sat where I’d left him, studying something on his phone.

I picked up my glass and asked curiously, “Aren’t you going to sleep?”

Tan Yao turned to look at me.

“You have not given permission.”

“Huh?”

“May I, Wife?”

His voice was flat, and the question came with no explanation.

I was even more confused.

“You want to sleep with me?”

“May I?”

I pressed my lips together without answering.

Going over to sit on the sofa, I set my glass on the coffee table and spoke very seriously.

“Tan Yao, have your parents been pushing you to have a baby?

“I know that’s not what you want right now. If they have, I can cover for you. You really don’t have to force yourself like this.

“It’s just… a little strange.”

Tan Yao was silent for a moment. Then he asked only, “Strange?”

I nodded. “Strange. So strange it’s like you’ve become a different person.”

The living room fell quiet.

Tan Yao narrowed his eyes slightly, as though assessing me, then quickly returned to normal.

As if that sharp look had been my imagination.

A moment later, he spoke in a level voice.

“I was in a car accident on a mountain road. There are many things I no longer remember.

“I remember only that you are my wife.

“Will you discard me because of that, Wife?”

So that was how he’d been injured.

He’d been through something as frightening as a car accident, and I was the only person he remembered.

No wonder he’d become so dependent on me.

I suddenly regretted leaving Tan Yao all alone in the living room.

“Of course not.

“I’m sorry. I should have asked you first.

“Have you been to the hospital? Does your head still hurt? Do you have any symptoms besides memory loss?”

I reached up to touch his still-wet hair. “Does it hurt anywhere under here? There aren’t any cuts, are there?”

Confusion entered Tan Yao’s eyes.

I got up without waiting, took his hand, and led him to a seat by the island.

“Let me dry your hair first. I can check for injuries while I’m at it.”

Tan Yao sat quietly.

I fetched the hair dryer from the bathroom, plugged it in, and worked through his hair a little at a time.

Fortunately, there were no cuts.

I came around in front of him, dried the last of his fringe, and pressed the switch.

The dryer had barely stopped when Tan Yao suddenly leaned forward, slipping his head into the circle of my arms and looking straight into my eyes.

I was so startled I forgot to lower my arms.

“You do this because I am your husband, Wife?”

What a bizarre way of talking. Was it the memory loss?

I didn’t have time to think it through. I lowered my hands first and took a step back.

“As your wife, of course I’ll take good care of you.”

I paused and pointed out the odd part. “But why do you keep calling me Wife?”

“Are you not my wife?”

His brow lowered almost imperceptibly.

“I am… but…”

It had to be because of the accident.

Before I could explain how people normally addressed each other, Tan Yao interrupted:

“Then, Wife, may I do it with you—”