After My Overprotective Brother Slept for a Thousand Years - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

But that “dance” lasted less than three seconds.

Xie Jin snapped back to his senses, and the arms he had lifted shot right back to his sides.

Fortunately, the packed café was full of people minding their own business. No one noticed.

Even so, Xie Jin stood there stiffly, so embarrassed that the tips of his ears turned bright red.

“I-no, I was just, uh, my shoulders suddenly felt a little sore! I wanted to stretch!”

Seeing me nod in apparent understanding, as if I truly believed him, he finally let out a breath.

Then he quickly sat back down at the table and grabbed his coffee cup to hide his face.

“And you asked me just now where my manners were, so I instinctively… Forget it. It’s nothing.”

Xie Jin’s voice grew muffled. He lowered his head and took a sip of coffee, frowning as if it tasted bitter.

Then he looked up at me again, and his brows instantly relaxed.

As if whetting his appetite, he gulped down more than half the cup.

After all, Xie Jin had never seen me in human form before.

And he had no idea that I was the younger sister of the sworn enemy he would cross mountains and rivers just to mock two thousand years ago.

I checked the memo on my phone titled “Male Bird Courtship in Five Steps.”

[Male Courtship Step One: Appear]

But Xie Jin’s appearance here had not been voluntary.

During our phone call yesterday, his tone had been openly arrogant.

“Sorry, I’m not interested in ordinary women.”

“I only agreed to this blind date because I owe the matchmaker a favor. Tomorrow, we’ll go through the motions and be done with it. Understood?”

Yet the moment I walked into the café, Xie Jin, who had been lounging lazily in his seat, suddenly sat up straight.

His nostrils flared, and his pupils contracted.

He tossed down a black card, said, “Order first,” and rushed out the door.

Fifteen minutes later, Xie Jin came back.

He had sprayed on cologne, styled his hair with wax, bought a bouquet, and swapped his loose hoodie for a tailored haute couture suit.

It showed off his broad shoulders, narrow waist, and absurdly long legs. All he lacked was a few feathers stuck into his hair for a dazzling grand entrance.

[Male Courtship Step Two: Dress Up]

At that moment, I glanced over from the corner of my eye. Across the table, Xie Jin was propping his cheeks in both hands, staring at me with a foolish smile.

Two dimples sank into his flushed cheeks, and his damp black eyes curved as if they were about to melt.

The pupils inside them had literally turned into hearts.

[Male Courtship Step Three: Display]

As a descendant of an ancient divine beast, Xie Jin’s true form was terrifying enough to stop children from crying at night.

But his face in human form really was exceptionally good-looking.

His brows slanted sharply, the corners of his eyes lifted slightly, and he carried an innate air of divinity and arrogance.

So how had he managed to make that face look this stupid when he smiled?

I silently withdrew my gaze and tapped open the post titled “Heavy Reward for Seeking Sister” again.

The cover was a hand-drawn ink painting of a plump little white mountain pheasant.

The post had been published yesterday, and by now it already had over ten thousand likes.

Not because the artwork was especially good, but purely because of the comments on the first floor relentlessly roasting it.

[Three-legged Golden Crow: Hello, polite question. Is this a Mountain Pig?]

[Three-legged Golden Crow: It may dance upon the palm, yet its arms suddenly split apart.]

[Three-legged Golden Crow: Where is the sister? All I see is a piglet.]

[Three-legged Golden Crow: Land Sea Seal]

[Three-legged Golden Crow: Solid Starch Sausage]

[Three-legged Golden Crow: Uppercut Immune]

[Three-legged Golden Crow: Unhangable Object]

[Three-legged Golden Crow: Michelin Tire Spokesperson]

Me: “…”

I set my phone facedown on the table and finally looked straight into Xie Jin’s eyes.

Xie Jin jolted, yanking his elbows back so hard he almost lost his balance. “W-what is it?”

Then he lifted another smile, his dimples sinking even deeper into the red of his cheeks. “Right, um, wife… No, mate, pfft! Madam, no, spouse… Ahem! Miss Gu.”

“Miss Gu, are you free later? I have some money I can’t seem to spend. Is there anything shiny you like? Jewelry, crystals, diamonds-anything you want. I’ll pay!”

[Male Courtship Step Four: Give Gifts]

Once the female accepted the gift, step five could begin…

Across the table, Xie Jin finally reined in his foolish smile a little.

The roots of his ears were still red. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he lowered his voice and said, “I smelled your scent. You’re not human-and neither am I.”

I nodded. “I know. You’re a descendant of the ancient divine bird, the Three-legged Golden Crow. It’s recorded in both the Classic of Mountains and Seas and the Huainanzi. Legend says the Golden Crows were the sons of Di Jun. They govern the virtue of fire, are proud by nature, skilled in flight, and afraid of water. In other words, they were the nine ‘suns’ shot down by Hou Yi in the human myth known as ‘Hou Yi Shoots the Suns.'”

Xie Jin’s eyes lit up. “You… looked me up on purpose? So our feelings are mutual?”

I rubbed my nose. “You could put it that way.”

Xie Jin’s smile softened even more.

But immediately afterward, his heart-shaped pupils began to lose focus.

“Strange. Why do I feel a little dizzy?” Xie Jin shook his head. “Don’t worry, I’m in excellent health. I haven’t felt dizzy in more than two thousand years. It won’t affect our future offspring…”

“Here.” I picked up the coffee in front of him and brought it to his lips. “Drink some water. You’ll feel better.”

“Mm.” Xie Jin obediently swallowed. Then he couldn’t help smiling foolishly again, his unfocused eyes still trying hard to follow me. “You fed me… That means you agree… to exchange… wedding… feathers… with me…”

Then his head slammed onto the table.

The packed café fell silent for an instant.

The customers who had seemed to be minding their own business all stopped moving at almost the same time.

Then they stood up in perfect unison.

A short-haired girl at the next table looked at me, her voice sharp. “Deputy captain?”

“Mm.”

Expressionless, I lifted Xie Jin’s eyelid and checked. “The dose is still a little low. It’ll only hold him for an hour at most. Move fast.”

The moment I finished speaking, everyone in the café began moving in an orderly fashion.

One by one, they pulled specially made electric saws, syringes, boning knives, dismembering hooks, and more from their bags.

I rose from my seat without looking at Xie Jin again and headed for the door.

“Don’t forget. One feather is one hundred million yuan.”

“One drop of blood is one billion.”