After the Emperor Shared Senses with a Doll - Chapter 3

I considered throwing the doll away.

Then I pictured it landing on the floor, going unnoticed, and getting stepped on.

Shen Zhao, in the middle of court: Have you ever heard of a palm strike descending from the heavens?

In the end, I kept it.

For the next few days, I tried not to touch it. The problem was, it was filthy. Once I imagined General Tiger’s saliva all over it, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I desperately wanted to wash it, but how could I dare? The instant it touched water, Shen Zhao would feel it. Wouldn’t that expose me?

Then, today, the comments informed me that Shen Zhao was bathing in a hot spring.

A hot spring? If the doll got wet while he was already in the water, perhaps he wouldn’t notice.

Perfect!

I hurriedly fetched a basin. After undressing the doll so I could wash its clothes separately, I submerged it and rubbed soapberry over its body in gentle circles until it foamed.

Then I began to knead it, very carefully.

If I washed it with the same force I used on towels, Shen Zhao would end up twisted into a pretzel.

Ha. A happy little pretzel.

My thoughts wandered, and my hands unconsciously pressed harder. The comments snapped me back to reality.

[Feeling him up from head to toe while he’s in the hot spring? Girl, you really know how to have fun.]

[When she was rubbing circles over his chest, he looked down and touched himself in total confusion. So cute!]

[Now he’s bright red, stroking everywhere she kneaded. He’s afraid someone will hear him, so he’s hiding under the water and blowing bubbles.]

I fell silent.

In the comments’ eyes, I had already become a shameless pervert.

But now that I had started washing it, stopping halfway would bother me even more.

Sorry, Shen Zhao. Bear with me.

I steeled myself and kept washing. In my haste, my movements inevitably became a little rough.

[The male lead is trembling against the stone steps. He’s even crying. Poor thing.]

[Oh my god, did you hear that? Did he say, “Please”?]

[Female lead, don’t go easy on him just because he’s a delicate flower! Be rougher!]

Rougher, my ass! I’d already told them—if I got truly rough, he’d turn into a pretzel!

Ha. A happy little pretzel.

No. Stop thinking about pretzels!

After that day, I heard that Shen Zhao had summoned adepts from across the realm.

My stomach knotted. Great. He was coming for me!

I rushed to ask around about the cultivation of the Daoists he had invited, trying to work out whether I was in danger of being exposed.

One of my palace-maid friends whispered, “Xiaomei, don’t tell anyone, but His Majesty is bringing in all these Daoists to catch a ghost.”

I stared. “Catch a ghost? What ghost?”

What I meant was that there was no ghost. What on earth did His Majesty think he could catch?

My friend misunderstood.

She beckoned me closer and whispered mysteriously into my ear, “I heard the ghost His Majesty wants is a lecherous one.”

I had nothing to say.

The good news: my nine branches of kin were safe.

The bad news: my reputation was not.