Burning Heart Incense - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Chunya made me a cloth doll the size of an infant for me to hold.

So I would not wake from nightmares night after night.

“Come to think of it, His Highness the Crown Prince’s birthday is in a few days.”

Chunya stared at the tiger-head cap I was sewing and suddenly spoke up.

“Your Highness!”

This girl had been growing bolder by the day.

She probably still remembered last year’s birthday, when the Crown Prince had mocked the little clothes and shoes I had made for him in front of everyone.

“How could there be such shabby things among my birthday gifts?”

The child, only four years old, had wrinkled his nose in disgust.

What else had he said?

-“Throw them out. I don’t want them.”

The consorts and concubines present had all laughed, praising the Crown Prince for being innocent and guileless.

Pulling myself out of the memory, I met Chunya’s indignant gaze.

I explained helplessly, “I’ve been exhausted lately. I can hardly walk.”

“Never mind the Crown Prince’s birthday banquet-even if it were His Majesty’s birthday banquet, I would not go.”

“Besides, His Majesty confined me to my quarters long ago.”

Chunya pointed at the little cap in my hands.

“Then what about that?”

“This isn’t for the Crown Prince. It’s for-”

I paused, suddenly realizing I had never given that child a name.

Without a name, there would be no bond.

…And then there would be no heartbreak.

I lowered my eyes and continued, “It is for the Second Prince.”

Chunya breathed a sigh of relief.

She was still muttering under her breath, scolding the Crown Prince for being unfilial, for looking down on clothes his own mother had made by hand.

“It isn’t his fault.”

I listened quietly for a long while. “He was raised under the Empress’s care from childhood.”

“The Empress detests me. Naturally, he picked it up by watching and listening.”

I could see it clearly.

The way Shen Yuyao looked at Xiao Xuan was exactly the same as I once had.

Pure adoration, and a possessive desire she could not suppress.

Xiao Xuan had ascended the throne with the Shen family’s support, yet he still showed lingering tenderness toward me, his wife from humbler days.

I stood between them and their celebrated tale of “the Emperor and Empress deeply in love.”

Like a thorn in the flesh, a splinter in the eye.

A terrible eyesore.

Chapter 4

Only, I had not expected that on the Crown Prince’s birthday,

Xiao Xuan would bring Ah Yan to Jingyang Palace.

“Ah Yan, I told you before. Consort Chu is your birth mother.”

Ah Yan pouted unhappily.

“No, she isn’t. Father Emperor is lying to me.”

“Her Majesty the Empress is my birth mother.”

Xiao Xuan’s face instantly went cold. “Nonsense!”

Ah Yan was so frightened by him that he fell backward onto the floor and burst into loud sobs.

“But Father Emperor, it is written clearly in the imperial daily records.”

“I was in Mother Empress’s palace when I was still in swaddling clothes. If Mother Empress is not my birth mother, then who is?”

Xiao Xuan’s expression turned extremely ugly.

“Chuchu, I-”

I rubbed my temple. “I have a headache.”

Xiao Xuan immediately snapped at Ah Yan, “Get out. Now!”

After driving Ah Yan away, he looked at me with a guilty expression.

“Chuchu, don’t be sad.”

“We will have other children.”

I looked at him calmly. “What use would it be, no matter how many children I had?”

“Your Majesty has seen it for yourself. Mother and son are estranged.”

He stammered, “It was my negligence. I will have the Empress teach him properly. I-”

“Your Majesty, I do not blame you. I have only one wish.”

I gathered my skirts and knelt in salute.

Seeing that I had taken the initiative to change the subject, Xiao Xuan finally breathed a sigh of relief and leaned forward to help me up.

“Tell me. Aside from matters concerning the Second Prince, I will do my utmost to grant you anything else.”

As he spoke, realization seemed to dawn on him. “Is it because your rank has not changed after all these years? Have you been resenting me for that?”

“You gave birth to the Second Prince. You have rendered merit.”

“I will promote you. Consort Chu-how does that sound?”

The corner of my mouth curved in self-mockery.

Looking into his eyes, I said each word clearly.

“I am tired.”

“I beg Your Majesty to let me leave the palace.”

Xiao Xuan froze.

It was as if he could not believe what he had heard.

After a moment of hesitation, he asked again,

“What did you say?”

I bowed once more and repeated calmly, “Let me leave the palace.”

He seized my wrist.

His voice was full of hate.

“Jiang Chu, don’t even think about it!”

“If you leave, what am I supposed to do? I won’t allow it!”

Then he would not allow it.

Why did he have to be so fierce? As if there were some deep, undying love between us.

I raised my head and met Xiao Xuan’s reddened eyes.

“I won’t allow it, Jiang Chu.”

“Even if you die, you will be buried with me.”

Men were always like this.

When they had only three parts affection, they acted out seven, then believed themselves to have ten.

I laughed mockingly. “Yes. Not only does Your Majesty want to be buried with me, you will be buried with all the ladies of the harem as well.”

“With your palaces full of wives and concubines, will Your Majesty be unable to rest in death if one less woman accompanies you to the grave?”

Xiao Xuan heard this, yet he did not grow angry.

Instead, he looked at me with a strange gaze.

“Chuchu, are you saying all this because you’re upset with me?”

“Do you blame me for filling the harem and neglecting only you?”

I began to laugh.

When Xiao Xuan saw me smile, a trace of amusement appeared in his eyes as well.

Then he heard me say without warning, “Of course not.”

“I was only thinking-”

The movement pulled at an old wound, and I coughed as I laughed.

“Your Majesty, I truly hate you so much.”

For taking my own flesh and blood from me.

For condemning me to this lonely palace.

Xiao Xuan went still.

That night, he flew into a rage from shame and anger.

He smashed everything in Jingyang Palace to pieces.

And the whole time, only one sentence kept repeating from his mouth:

“Chuchu, you are not allowed to hate me!”