Every Morning, My Mirror Saves the World - Chapter 52

Ruiyin was of the opinion that the distinction between a goddess and a goddamn lunatic was not exactly subtle. The ever-wise Prince Juvina, however, had stubbornly decided Evelyn must be a descendant of the legendary prophets. He even put the vital preparations for war on hold and devoted himself wholeheartedly to courting her every day.

By comparison, Lars’s complete lack of action left Ruiyin—who was waiting for her future daughter-in-law (?) to deliver herself to his door—nearly frantic.

“You have to take the initiative, understand?!” Ruiyin roared, furious at his failure to live up to expectations. “Girls need to be coaxed! Even if you’re more honest, reliable, handsome, and steady than Juvina, you still can’t just wait for her to chase you!”

Lars: “…I don’t—”

“I know you don’t think she looks like a prophet, but most real prophets are lunatics! Professor Trelawney, Zhuge Liang, Li Bai!” Ruiyin slapped the wall with earthshaking conviction, issuing orders like a bandit chief. “Starting today, you are going to learn from Juvina. Under no circumstances may you lose to a mage. You absolutely must get that woman into bed before he does!”

Lars: “But Ruiyin… Tio’s Male Consort Number Eighteen has been standing over there for half an hour. Are you really not going to give him a chance to speak?”

The bandit queen turned around impatiently. A handsome Dark Elf stood in the corner as quietly as a shadow, his head bowed in patient silence. Ruiyin had never gotten a clear look at his face, but judging from how peaceful he was, she concluded that Dark Elves could become quite lovely creatures once properly domesticated.

“What is it?”

The Dark Elf raised his head and flashed his teeth in a smile. “A letter from Lady Tio, for Lady Ruiyin’s eyes only.”

Puzzled, Ruiyin accepted the parchment and broke the gumdrop seal. Four concise words were written across it:

*Come over. Eat candy.*

“…”

The Dark Elf smiled politely. “Lady Tio said she hopes you will reject the latter half of the message, but asks that you accept the first half no matter what.”

“I—”

“Lady Tio also said that if you truly do not wish to go, she would not mind coming to find you herself, provided you would not feel embarrassed to have her following you around.”

The Dark Elf continued to beam. “Lady Tio said that if you want to swear, you may save it up and do it all at her place, since there will be plenty more worth opening your mouth for once you arrive. Do you have any other questions?”

Ruiyin stared at him with a deadpan expression. “Did she tell you what I’m supposed to say after you’ve stolen all my lines?”

The Dark Elf clapped softly. “Correct. That sentence was precisely what Lady Tio told me you would say.”

In her battle of verbal techniques with Tio, Ruiyin suffered a total defeat.

Half an hour later, Male Consort Number Eighteen escorted Ruiyin to Tio’s chambers.

To welcome the esteemed Dark Elf Queen—and also to thoroughly quarantine the lunatic—Juvina had generously handed over the harem he had never once used since its completion. Despite being mentally prepared, Ruiyin and a deeply reluctant Lars wanted to gouge out their eyes the moment they lifted the Arabian-style curtains.

At least seven or eight male Dark Elves were uniformly dressed in fan-service outfits that bared their chests and thighs. Crystal beads of sweat glittered over their chocolate-brown skin like luxurious gauze. Tio lay surrounded by them in a silk robe, its honey-colored opening running from her throat all the way to her navel while the loose white cloth traced her elegant frame. Reclining against one Dark Elf’s chest, she idly toyed with his body with one hand. Her eyes were languidly half-lidded as she contentedly extended her tongue to lick cream cake from another elf’s fingers.

Ruiyin could only kneel in abject worship…

Hearing their arrival, Tio turned her head and lazily waved. “‘Sup.”

Her expression rigid, Ruiyin struggled to prop up Lars, who had already been struck to the floor by the scandalous tableau. She phrased her opinion as tactfully as she could. “Don’t you think this is a little inappropriate?”

“Is it?” Tio looked from side to side. “As a queen, I think it’s entirely appropriate!”

“No, I mean the way you look with all of them. It seriously gives off forbidden same-sex harem vibes.” Like a whole group of beautiful young men keeping one pretty boy as their caged plaything…

“But I’m a girl,” Tio shamelessly insisted. “I can prove it to you if you don’t believe me.”

Ruiyin shot forward at lightspeed and clamped one hand over Tio’s before she could lift her hem. Smiling, she said, “That won’t be necessary. Why did you call me here?”

Until Tio had finished dressing, Lars kept both hands pressed firmly over his eyes. He tripped countless times while crossing the mere twenty or so feet between the door and the room. At last, he tugged on the corner of Ruiyin’s clothes and sat down miserably beside her, his eyes still red and his entire demeanor that of a bullied young wife.

“We haven’t seen each other in ages,” Tio said to Ruiyin.

“I believe we had a meeting yesterday,” Ruiyin corrected.

“I meant meeting privately, just the two of us.” Tio pouted. “You’re every bit as unadorable as Mordova.”

“What exactly do you want?” Lars demanded viciously. “You made Ruiyin look at something like… this. If you’ve called her over just to spout nonsense, then forgive me for being discourteous to an ally.”

He flashed the Sword of Shadow in warning. Like a little wolfdog baring its fangs, he glared hungrily at Tio’s slender neck.

Tio turned toward him as though she had only just noticed he was there. Her interested, unrestrained gaze traveled from the heroic lines of the young man’s face down to the shapely backside hugged by his leather armor. Though Lars was covered from neck to toe, he still felt as though she had stripped him naked with her eyes.

“You—!” Face blazing red, he sprang up and thrust his sword at her.

The Sword of Shadow stopped half a yard from Tio, caught by a shield of wind that refused to let it advance any farther.

“Too weak,” Tio said, studying Lars. “The Sword of Shadow’s previous master was far stronger than you.”

“So what?” Murderous intent spilled across Lars’s face. “Even if I can’t compare to him, I should still be strong enough to kill you.”

The instant the words left his mouth, the Sword of Shadow erupted with fierce red light. Twisted space ripped the whirling wall of wind to pieces, and the razor-sharp blade came crashing down with the force of thunder—only to stop a hair’s breadth from Tio’s neck.

“Right. I can’t kill you just yet.” Lars watched a thin red line slowly bead along Tio’s throat. His voice dropped to a murmur. “When our pact ends… you will pay for every single thing you’ve done.”

Perfect silence filled the room. Tio lowered her eyes to the lethal weapon beside her neck. Ruiyin and Tio’s troupe of male consorts remained where they were, sipping tea and watching without the slightest reaction.

At last the Dark Elf Queen raised a hand. She gently pushed the knight’s blade aside and drew a deep breath.

“You…”

“…are so amazing, so amazing, eee! You tried to kill me just for looking at you! Defending your virtue while being vicious and adorable—I want to take a bite out of you so badly! Waaaah, you look even tastier than the last time I saw you! What am I supposed to do? Ruiyin, how did you raise him? Teach me! This is so unfair! Just because your breasts are a little bigger than mine, why do you get everything?!”

Her Majesty bit down on a handkerchief and rolled jealously across the floor. Then she seemed to remember something. She stopped mid-roll, flipped upright in one smooth motion, and attached herself to Ruiyin with shining eyes, nuzzling her coquettishly.

“How about this? We can trade! Come on, take your pick. Anyone you like, and don’t be shy. I’ll even give you two for one!”

Veins bulging on his forehead, Lars peeled the shameless Tio off Ruiyin, carried her back, and pressed her into her seat. Throughout the entire process, the male consort troupe calmly drank tea, chatted, and chuckled.

“…Can you tell us why we’re here now?” Ruiyin asked, pressing hard at her temple.

Tio pulled a little gold pocket watch from her clothes and checked the time. Only then did she reluctantly climb up from the floor and settle back onto the cushions, once more assuming the noble, majestic (?!) bearing of a queen.

“It’s nothing terribly important. There’s simply one thing I’ve never asked you.” Her tone turned formal. “What exactly is your relationship with Mordova?”

The question was so long overdue—and so unexpectedly normal—that Ruiyin froze for a moment before remembering how to answer. She estimated Lars’s current combat strength, then slowly pulled the mirror from the pouch at her waist.

“It’s this… I once summoned Mordova through it because of a misunderstanding.”

“Seres’s Relic!” Tio blurted.

Her expression turned solemn as she slowly brought a hand toward the mirror. Before she even touched it, she could sense the dark power churning within.

“So he hid himself inside the Relic… No wonder no one ever found him.” Tio murmured to herself, staring covetously at the mirror. Then she glanced with extreme resentment at Lars, who was glaring coldly back at her…

“Waaaah! So what if your breasts are a little bigger? What’s so great about that?! Why do you get the mirror too?!” Tio began rolling around again.

Her Majesty’s obsession with breasts continued until Ruiyin finished every last bite of pudding on the plate. At last, Tio gazed mournfully at the empty dish.

“Mordova… I never imagined you could summon him. If I remember correctly, the summoning requires a thousand souls and… at least the magical power of a Grand Mage. You really hide your abilities well.”

Ruiyin looked confused. “Does it? But I don’t have any magic, and I didn’t use any souls. I just knocked on the mirror.”

Tio (⊙o⊙): Are you fucking with me?

Ruiyin = =: Seriously.

Tio: You have to be fucking with me! That’s impossible QAQ! Prove it!

Ruiyin rubbed her forehead. Holding up the mirror in one hand, she tentatively tapped the glass with her knuckles and cleared her throat.

“Mordova?”

Lars and Tio stared fixedly at the mirror. Fifteen minutes passed without the slightest movement. Tio finally relaxed and said triumphantly, “I told you it was impossible. Mordova isn’t some nobody. There’s no way he could be summoned that easily.”

Lars said nothing, but he looked distinctly relieved and pleased as well.

Ruiyin shrugged indifferently. “Maybe last time was just an accident. He’s the God of Darkness. It wouldn’t be surprising if he had a few… indescribable quirks.”

She tossed the mirror back toward her pouch. But the moment she opened it, the previously placid azure surface abruptly turned pitch-black.

Ruiyin reflexively let go.

The mirror did not fall. It hovered in midair as though held by an invisible hand. More and more black smoke poured from its surface, gradually swallowing everyone’s view.

Under their astonished gazes, the smoke slowly dispersed to reveal a tall, black-clad figure.

Author’s Note:

This counts as the Black Knight making an appearance too… right?

Her Majesty rolls on the floor: So what if her breasts are a little bigger than mine? Hmph! What’s so great about that? QAQ!!!

The male consort troupe calmly picks up the scattered remains of everyone’s dignity = =