Help! I'm Surrounded by Tentacles! - Chapter 1

“So which beastman did you end up choosing?”

My best friend sounded curious over the phone.

I crunched on a cookie. “A slime.”

“A what?!”

“A slime.”

Three seconds of silence. Then she screeched, “Xu You! This is your future mate we’re talking about! You passed up eagles and wolves for a slime?”

“What’s wrong with slimes? They’re soft, springy, and feel amazing. Think how good they must be to squeeze!”

“Is being squishable seriously your only requirement in a mate?”

“Yes. If I can’t squeeze my mate, what’s the point?”

“Slimes are so soft. Squeezing one has to feel incredible!”

I didn’t even hesitate.

My friend sounded ready to give up on me. “You idiot! Why would you want a soft mate? What’s wrong with feeling up some abs? Pick a hard man!”

Just then, the doorbell rang.

“Gotta go! My slime’s here!”

I hung up and ran to the door.

A pale blue box sat quietly outside, sealed with tape that read INTERSTELLAR MATE MATCHING BUREAU.

I happily carried it into the living room, already imagining all the ways I would roll and squash my bouncy little friend.

“My adorable slime, your moment has arrived!”

I took a deep breath and reverently lifted the lid, ready to welcome my soft, springy little darling.

Then I saw what was inside.

My smile froze.

A pale pink jellyfish the size of my palm lay at the bottom of the box. Its bell was translucent, its tentacles fine and soft, like cherry blossoms floating in water.

Very pretty. Very cute.

But…

That was not the slime I’d ordered!

Expressionless, I picked up the shipping label and checked it.

Right number. Right recipient. Right sender. Even the species field said SLIME in big letters.

I was silent for two seconds. Then I picked up my communicator and found the bureau’s customer service number.

“Hello? Is this the Interstellar Mate Matching Bureau? You’ve sent me the wrong thing!”

“I asked for a slime, not a jellyfish!”

“I want to…”

Before I could say “return it,” I heard a faint squelch against the back of my hand.

Puzzled, I looked down.

The little jellyfish had stuck itself to my skin.

Its translucent body glowed softly under the light. Fine, delicate tentacles spread across my hand, cool and slightly damp.

I moved my fingers without thinking.

So soft.

The tips of its tentacles were as fine as silk threads. They felt cool and moist as they curled around my fingertips, without being unpleasantly sticky. There was just the faintest hint of suction.

This was a hundred times better to squeeze than a slime.

No, a thousand!

I lost myself in squeezing the jellyfish, until a woman’s voice came through the communicator.

“Hello, you’ve reached the Matching Bureau. How may I help you?”

I came back to my senses. Looking at the little jellyfish curled in my palm, letting me knead it however I pleased, I pressed my lips together.

“Never mind.”

And that was how a little jellyfish replaced a slime as my future mate.

Every morning when I woke, it would be nestled obediently beside my pillow, its tentacles resting lightly on my cheek.

The moment I opened my eyes, it would give a soft little “Bop.”

It was exceptionally clingy. It could also change color.

If I squeezed it for too long, its pink would turn a vivid red.

When I watched television, I put it on my stomach. It rose and fell with my breathing, occasionally making a contented little “Bop.”

When my best friend, Qi Nian, learned that my slime mate had become a jellyfish, she sighed several times.

“Oh, You. Are you really going to spend your whole life squeezing things?”

I grinned. “It feels good. I’m happy.”

“Happy? You just don’t know what you’re missing!”

“Tomorrow, I’m expanding your horizons. You’ll see what a real tough guy looks like!”

…

Ding-ding!

The doorbell rang as if someone were coming to collect my soul.

I hauled myself off the sofa and shuffled to the door in my slippers, the little jellyfish still cupped in one hand.

The moment I opened it, Qi Nian’s bright, beautiful face was right in front of mine. Someone else stood behind her.

He looked at least six foot three, with very short black hair and a pair of upright wolf ears.

His features were sharply defined, his brow prominent. Amber eyes looked down at me without much expression, but his presence was overwhelming.

He wore a black tank top. His exposed arms were all defined muscle and faintly visible veins. He stood in my doorway like a mountain.

“Who’s this?” I asked, baffled.

Qi Nian grinned. “The tasty little treat I found you.”

I had no words.