I Am the Chief of the Imperial Bedchamber - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Whether or not it guaranteed conception, I had no idea. But if I got caught, it definitely guaranteed a beheading.

Still, what could I do? They were paying way too much.

One night, when I wasn’t on duty, I took advantage of the darkness and slipped into my workplace with practiced ease-the Old Emperor’s bedchamber.

At this hour, he was usually out doing physical labor.

Pajamas. Take one set.

Brocade pouches. Take two.

Socks. As for those…

Forget it, take three. Maybe some consort out there was into that old-man smell.

The System couldn’t stand it anymore.

[Isn’t it a little inappropriate to steal this much?]

“What are you talking about? When an employee takes things from the company, can that really be called stealing?” The more I stole, the more excited I got. “This is called putting the corporate philosophy into practice-treating the company like it’s my own home!”

[Take your time. The Old Emperor is coming in.]

!!!

I became honest in one second, looked around in a panic, and dove under the dragon bed.

Damn it. Why was he so fast today?

Not only was he fast, he was especially tired too. He closed his eyes and fell asleep at once.

I waited and waited. Only when I figured there was no more movement did I dare to crawl out from beneath the bed.

Then someone stepped on me.

Frame by frame, I turned my head and saw the Old Emperor’s livid face.

“Good night, my emperor.”

Help me! Help me! Help me! Help me!

He smiled chillingly. “Nanny Ji, what are you doing here?”

“This old servant… this old servant is sleepwalking.”

The System cracked melon seeds and watched the show.

[I estimate his chances of believing you are thirty-seventy.]

Hope flared in me. “Really?”

[He counts to three, and a few days later, I’ll be attending your seventh-day funeral rites.]

The Old Emperor’s august mouth parted slightly.

I kowtowed like crazy. “No, Your Majesty! Without me, who else will guard you from under the bed?!”

He actually shut his mouth, staring strangely at the pile of miscellaneous items I’d knocked out all over the floor.

Among them was a pair of underpants.

Unwashed.

Fuck. Beauty Wang’s weird little kink had led me astray!

After I hugged his thigh, sobbing and sniffling as I confessed everything, the Old Emperor rubbed his brow.

“For your godmother’s sake, I will make a small punishment serve as a great warning. I will only fine you half a year’s wages.”

Only?

How could a mouth at normal body temperature say something so ice-cold?

Also, did my godmother really have that much face?

I accepted it with bitter hatred and was forced to put down the stolen goods.

I hadn’t gone more than a few steps before I heard the Old Emperor openly gossiping about me with Eunuch Wang.

“Tell me, do you think Nanny Ji might be haunted by something unclean?”

“This servant is frightened too! Wait-two days from now, we’ll invite Master Xiangwu to perform a ritual.”

I had always thought my disguise was flawless. I never expected people to already suspect I was possessed by a ghost.

I immediately felt a little hurt. “System, compared to the old Nanny Ji, am I really that annoying?”

[Just a little,] the System mused. [About forty percent.]