I Write Unofficial History in the Court - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I pinched the bits of silver from the letter and decided this was a pretty good deal.

I didn’t have to worry about getting my head chopped off, and I could earn a handsome reward besides.

After all, I was a coward. Proper official history was beyond me. All I could do was scrape by writing Unofficial History.

What respectable official would read unofficial history anyway?

My unpresentable little work was only good for earning a few coins.

Later, I could go buy my father some good wine and dishes in prison, then send some silver to my elder brother, who had been exiled to that bitterly cold place.

But how should I write the second installment?

I rummaged through the Grand Historian’s masterpiece and dug out the description of Lao Ai, the male favorite of the Queen Dowager of Qin, from the Biography of Lü Buwei. Then, mixing fabrication with embellishment, I wrote the second installment: “The Prince Regent Meets Trouble Upon Entering the Capital; His Wheel-Turning Technique Shocks the Circle of Noble Ladies!”

As soon as this chapter was printed, it shook the students of the capital!

One student asked, “Can the Prince Regent’s thing really turn a carriage wheel?!”

A more scholarly student said, “I should think not.”

The scholarly faction even conducted a study on the matter.

He found ten strapping men in the capital, all of them rather “famous” in their own right.

Then he brought over a carriage wheel.

The scholarly student came from a wealthy family. He told the ten strapping men, “Whoever can swing this wheel gets two taels of silver.”

The strapping men thought he was doing charity.

It was just a carriage wheel. With all the muscles on their bodies, how could they possibly fail to swing it?

But then the scholarly student shook his head and pulled out that copy of Unofficial History. “Use the method in the book. Turn it with your ‘inner power’!”

In all their lives, the strapping men had never heard of such a request.

But for the sake of the silver, they endured.

Unfortunately, all ten tried, straining until their faces went red, and not one succeeded.

The scholarly student shook his head, flipped through the book again, and said, “The book also says the Prince Regent can push a millstone. Shall we try that too?”

The ten exhausted strapping men were horrified.

One after another, they clutched their crotches and fled.

Silver was nice, but you had to be alive to spend it.

These city scholars really did play more extravagantly than ordinary folk!

For a while, the reputations of the capital’s scholars suffered greatly.

Whether at Southern Breeze House or Pleasure House, once they heard a scholar had arrived, they would only serve him for an extra fee.

In places I knew nothing about, there were also a few illiterate young servants who came to buy books for their masters.

One such servant couldn’t read, but he had good instincts.

Whenever he bought books for his master, he would always slip one or two erotic novels in among the books of sages.

His master never said anything.

But his master would smile and give him silver. “Keep the extra as a reward. The books you buy are always exactly to my taste.”

That day, the young servant came to buy books and saw everyone scrambling for one particular title.

The paper was rough. Some copies were printed, while others were handwritten.

The handwriting in the copied versions varied wildly too.

Yet even copies written in characters like a dog’s scratchings were being fought over. “I want this one! It’s mine!”

The young servant thought to himself, “What kind of miraculous book is this? It’s so popular. I ought to bring a copy back for Master.”

And so the illiterate young servant paid a heavy price for a fairly decent-looking copy of Unofficial History.

After purchasing the books, he hummed a little tune and returned to the Vice Minister’s residence.

That night, the lamp in the study of the Vice Minister’s residence burned until dawn.

Even the charming concubine who came to deliver soup was driven out.

The Vice Minister held Unofficial History and read with keen interest, pushing the concubine aside. “Go away! Don’t disturb my reading!”

For the first time, the pampered concubine was neglected. Weeping, she slammed the door and left. “Waaah-My lord, you’ve gone too far-”

After finishing the second installment of Unofficial History, the Vice Minister was in high spirits. That very night, he called the sleeping servant who had bought the book into the study. “Tomorrow, go buy me the first installment. And ask when the third one will be released.”

The young servant also happened to repeat a few things he had heard at the bookstore during the day.

Everyone at that bookstore had been there looking for this book.

The Vice Minister listened with great enthusiasm and dragged the young servant into chatting for half the night.

When the neglected concubine heard that the young servant had stayed in the study for half the night, she cried even louder in the side room. “My lord has changed-“