Lanxi and the Evil God - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next day.

Wearing a mask and carrying a chamber pot, I went about my work with practiced efficiency.

The System, finally catching up, started shrieking in my ear:

[Oh my god, Lanxi, have you lost your mind?! You actually dared to reject the Evil God?

[Do you know what happened last night?]

Last night?

I thought back.

I had slept very well.

In my dreams, I vaguely remembered hearing a rumbling boom from the northeast.

“What happened?”

The System gossiped eagerly:

[The Evil God went and picked a fight with the Bamboo Spirit. They smashed Youhuang Pavilion to bits.

[The Bamboo Spirit got beaten black and blue. You really screwed him over!]

I was completely baffled.

“I don’t believe it.

“Cangyun the bamboo spirit is one of the top three combat bosses in this instance. He’s known as the Bamboo Immortal.

“And Youhuang Pavilion is his home turf. Every flower and leaf there can become a blade. How could he lose? And lose that badly?”

The System snickered.

[Because when the Evil God went to fight him, he was taking a bath.

[You know how the Bamboo Immortal is-stiff, old-fashioned, obsessed with etiquette. No matter what he does, he has to be properly dressed and elegantly groomed. He won’t allow even the slightest bit of mess or disorder, or else it’s a breach of propriety.

[There was no way he would allow himself to fight naked.

[So while the Evil God was beating him up, he was busy trying to get dressed.]

So that was it.

The thought of that elegant young master getting pummeled while stark naked was… oddly entertaining.

The System suddenly said:

[Ding!

[Congratulations, player. Mission unlocked: “Within 24 hours, taste the Bamboo Immortal.”]

What did it mean, taste?

He was alive. How was I supposed to taste him?

Uh. It couldn’t mean what I thought it meant, could it?

The System:

[Ahem. It means exactly what you think it means.]

My old face flushed red.

I nearly fell into the chamber pot.

Chapter 6

After all the torment I had suffered in my previous life, I was no longer the naive young girl I used to be.

I was now Lan Niohuru Xi.

Since I had to win over the Bamboo Immortal, I needed to know myself and know my enemy. First, I had to figure out his temperament.

The Bamboo Immortal looked cold and aloof on the surface, keeping everyone at a distance.

In truth, he was softhearted.

Against someone like him, playing pitiful and gentle worked best. The more innocent and scheming, the better!

I took a bottle of wound medicine and slipped over to Youhuang Pavilion.

By evening,

clouds billowed and the sunset glowed.

The bamboo in the grove had been knocked every which way, fallen all over the ground.

Dressed in blue-green robes, the Bamboo Immortal stood amid the ruins, playing a xiao.

The melody was mournful and desolate, as if he had suffered a grievous injustice.

When he saw me arrive, the youth said coldly:

“Here to laugh at me?

“Though I do not care for eating humans, since you’ve delivered yourself to my door, I might as well simmer you into a nourishing meat broth tonight.”

I pretended to be frightened. Trembling, I crouched down, hugged my knees, and started to cry.

The System encouraged me:

[Yes, yes, that’s it! Keep acting!

[The Bamboo Immortal may look cold, but he’s warmhearted. He can’t stand seeing people cry.]

Sure enough, he rubbed his temples helplessly and walked toward me.

With tears all over my face, I held up the medicine bottle and choked out:

“I-I’m not here to laugh at you. I came to bring you medicine.

“Immortal Lord, does it hurt?”

I lifted my face.

My eyes were filled with sincere concern.

Cangyun froze. The icy look on his face seemed to loosen by a fraction.

I stood up.

Innocently, I touched the corner of his lips.

“Oh no, it’s all bruised. It must hurt so, so much.

“Let me blow on it for you.”

Whoosh-

In an instant, the young man’s jade-like face turned redder than the evening clouds.