Let Lost Love Lie - Chapter 1

After falling into the water, I decided to play dumb and pretend I had lost my memory.

As the physician and my maid questioned me anxiously, I clutched my head and endured the pain for a while. Then I looked up in bewilderment.

“…I don’t remember.”

Not long afterward, Shen Cizhou finally arrived, worn from his hurried journey.

He was still wearing his crane-embroidered court robes. Snow dusted his shoulders, and he looked somewhat haggard.

I recognized him.

The famously aloof Grand Tutor. My husband, Shen Cizhou.

He listened to the maid explain how I had lost my memory, murmured an acknowledgment, then sat beside my bed and stroked my hair.

“They said you hit your head when you fell in. Does it still hurt?”

I shook my head.

Seeing the curious look I gave this apparent stranger, he studied me for a moment. Then he smiled faintly and took my hand with patient care.

“Don’t be afraid, A-Ning. I’m your husband.”

A-Ning.

Even though I was only pretending to have amnesia, those two syllables left me stunned.

Shen Cizhou had never called me A-Ning before.

Before our marriage, he had coldly addressed me as “Miss Song.” Afterward, he had called me “Wife” with distant formality.

This was the first time I had ever heard him use such an intimate nickname.

Shen Cizhou and I were probably an unhappy couple in the capital.

I had forced this marriage upon him. He never came close to me, and we had slept in separate rooms ever since the wedding.

Even when we met in the residence, he would only give me a cool nod before hurrying away.

I went to such lengths to please him. He never cared for the embroidered pouch I had pricked my fingers making. When managing the household wore me out until I collapsed with a fever, he called me delicate.

Six months into our marriage, we had yet to consummate it. Burning with embarrassment, I pushed open his study door to offer myself to him, only to be sent out without so much as a change in his expression.

Before our marriage and after it, he remained cold and distant. He utterly detested me.

Then, five days ago, I learned by chance that Shen Cizhou had a childhood sweetheart whose family had fallen on hard times.

Falsely accused, her entire household had been exiled to the frontier. Once, the two families had been well matched; their elders had even considered arranging a marriage.

At last, I understood why Shen Cizhou hated me.

When I heard that the Wen family had been cleared and had returned to the capital, my very presence suddenly felt rather shameful.

Childhood companions, sharing innocent joys since they were small.

They had been so well suited to each other.

Then I had appeared, and a twist of fate had torn them apart.

So I had done something very wrong.

Worry made me ill for several days. When I accidentally fell into the water at the ice-fishing gathering hosted by a duke’s wife, I decided to turn the accident to my advantage and pretend I had lost my memory.

I wanted a divorce from Shen Cizhou.

Late that night, I bent over my desk by candlelight, laboring over our divorce agreement.

Shen Cizhou did not like me. That much was obvious.

Everyone in the capital knew it. The cold, aloof Grand Tutor Shen had remained celibate after his wedding, never touching his wife.

The women of the capital laughed at me behind my back. I had found it rather humiliating, until I learned that he was keeping himself chaste for the woman he loved.

Fortunately, this marriage had not yet become an irretrievable mistake. That was something of a relief.

Before my supposed amnesia, I had been the only one clinging to him. Now I could use our unfamiliarity as an excuse to divorce. Surely he would not object.

I had barely set down my brush when a knock came at the door.

I opened it. Wind and snow poured through the gap. Shen Cizhou stood outside in only a thin robe.

Quietly holding his pillow, he looked almost docile.

When I looked up at him in confusion, his expression was perfectly natural, his voice gentle.

“You may not remember, A-Ning.”

“You once told me you could only sleep well with me beside you.”

I was utterly bewildered. Only then did a prickling heat spread to the tips of my ears. I stared at Shen Cizhou, my eyes widening slightly.

He tilted his head and smiled.

“It’s rather cold out here, A-Ning.”

“Could you let me in first?”