Lotus in a Bottle - Chapter 9

Section 14

Aside from dressing in colorful clothes and strolling through the bustling markets, the most important tradition of the Shangsi Festival was actually bathing by the water to cleanse away misfortune.

But when I saw East Lake packed with people like dumplings boiling in a pot, I felt inexplicably guilty. I couldn’t bring myself to make Tan Lian soak in that human soup with everyone else.

To my surprise, Tan Lian smiled and asked of his own accord, “What happened to respecting tradition?”

For some reason, even though his smile looked no different from usual, I couldn’t help shuddering.

I immediately made my position clear. “No need, no need. We’ve observed enough of the tradition already.”

Tan Lian brushed a flower petal from his shoulder and said with distinctly insincere regret, “Is that so? I thought Baoping couldn’t wait.”

I didn’t understand what he meant, so I let him lead me back toward Tan Manor in bewilderment.

Then two ladies passed us, hiding their mouths behind round fans as they smilingly teased each other.

“Make sure you pray sincerely to Gaomei during the ceremony later. I hear it’s very effective. That woman from the Liu family became pregnant not long after returning home last year…”

Me: “…”

Two patches of red slowly crept across my cheeks. This time, Tan Lian didn’t even have to hurry me. I ducked my head and rushed home on my own.

Tan Lian followed at an unhurried pace. Usually, he was exceptionally considerate, but today he seemed determined not to take a hint and kept questioning me.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go? Wasn’t that why Baoping dragged me out today?

“If Baoping wants a child, your husband will certainly do his best. There’s no need to be embarrassed.”

Aaaaah!

Enough! Stop talking!

I slapped a hand over Tan Lian’s mouth. Mortified as I was, I failed to notice the strange look in his eyes as he stared at my hand.

“We’re going home!”

“…All right.”

Section 15

After throwing unreasonable tantrums also ended in defeat, my gaze wandered between “becoming a lazy glutton” and “making him a cuckold.”

Given Tan Lian’s temperament, I had a feeling he could step onto a lotus pedestal and attain Buddhahood on the spot. Becoming a lazy glutton probably wouldn’t work on him at all.

But making him a cuckold…

Ahem. Better start with the easier option.

I shoved the booklet back into my vanity box, flopped onto the daybed in broad daylight, and officially began my life as a lazy wife.

I had to admit, it was wonderful.

Until a person gave up on life at least once, they would never realize just how much they enjoyed being utterly useless.

The steward and maids handled every minor affair in the Tan Family, and I even dumped the shops’ account books on Tan Lian.

As a result, not only could Tan Lian not rest after returning from work each day, but he also had to finish all my work for me.

Meanwhile, I grew increasingly outrageous.

Not only did I show Tan Lian no consideration, but while he stayed up late by lamplight checking the accounts, I would brazenly make new demands.

“I want some of Aunt Liu’s handmade jujube-paste pastries from the west side of the city. And dried apricots from Li’s Shop, and braised chicken legs from Donglai Restaurant…”

I rattled off a long list of dishes before declaring self-righteously, “I ate these all the time before I married you. Don’t tell me you can’t even fulfill such a small request?”

Any husband with even a hint of a temper would probably have lost it by now.

Tan Lian, however, showed no sign of displeasure. He continued flipping through the account book and nodded, agreeing to my unreasonable demands.

“Those are all small matters. As long as they make Baoping happy.”

…Even my own father couldn’t have said something like that.

Tan Lian was true to his word. When he returned from work the next day, he laid every single food I’d mentioned in front of me without missing a thing.

I swallowed unconsciously. “…”

No. I was supposed to be a vicious, lazy wife who threw tantrums, did nothing but eat and laze around, and was utterly useless. No matter how touched I was, I couldn’t thank him like a normal person.

Xie Baoping had never uttered a single word of thanks in her life!

I gave a haughty snort and reached for a braised chicken leg, saying in an affected tone, “You really went to so much trouble for me, dear husband.”

My outstretched hand grasped empty air.

I looked up at Tan Lian in confusion.

The beautiful, gentle man held the bag of braised meat in one hand, his eyes lowered as he contemplated something.

A moment later, he raised his hand and held the food directly to my lips, clearly intending to feed me.

“Be good, Baoping. Open your mouth.”

Me: “???”

My favorite food was pressed right against my lips. My brain sensed that something wasn’t right, but my mouth clearly had ideas of its own. It opened at once and bit into the delicacy within reach.

And just like that, he fed and I ate until every last morsel on the table had ended up in my stomach.

I-I was so full.

Tan Lian glanced at the now-empty table and lowered his hand with evident regret.

After giving it some thought, he even took the initiative to ask me, “Would you like the same things tomorrow? Should I buy some other snacks too?”

I meant to tell him not to buy anything else, but the moment I opened my mouth, an exceptionally loud belch came out instead.

Tan Lian smiled and patted my head. “Mm, understood. As long as you like them.”

How was he a White Lotus?

He-he was clearly the world’s biggest sucker!