Marrying a Warrior - Chapter 3

The only time my feelings were exposed was at a palace banquet when I was seventeen.

Many things happened that year.

Li Muzhi placed third in the imperial examinations. Zhao Mo won a great victory.

It was also my first visit to the palace.

When I looked up at the banquet, I met the emperor’s startled gaze.

“Muzhi, this sister of yours…”

“She is seventeen, Your Majesty. Illness kept her from the palace selection these past two years. I beg your forgiveness.”

I lowered my eyes, pain tightening in my heart.

“She has something of the noble consort’s grace.”

The interest in his voice sent a chill through my bones.

Only then did Noble Consort Jia slowly lift her face and glance down at me.

When I saw her face clearly, I understood why Consort Xian had offended her.

Consort Xian had looked just like her.

The woman who had defeated the empress and brought about Consort Xian’s death was shrewd indeed. She recognized the emperor’s fascination at a glance.

Resting her chin on her hand with a smile, she devised a way to deal with me in an instant.

“Your Majesty, I feel inclined to play matchmaker.”

When the emperor was still a prince from a collateral branch of the royal family, Noble Consort Jia had entered his household as a secondary wife, the daughter of a deputy general.

Skilled in riding and archery, learned in poetry and books, she had been his perfect companion.

During a rebellion, she put on his clothes to draw the rebels away and protect him.

Separated from him, she did not return to his side until many years later.

Some gossiped about her chastity. Others praised her courage.

But what people discussed most eagerly was her feud with Consort Xian.

The day Noble Consort Jia returned to the palace, Consort Xian’s overwhelming favor began to collapse.

Palace servants said Consort Xian went mad when she saw the other woman’s face.

So proud a woman could never tolerate being someone else’s substitute.

Five years earlier, I had given a silver hairpin to a beggar. Li Muzhi had been angry with me for half a month.

“Where is that plum-blossom silver hairpin?”

“I had given away all my alms money. The beggar looked pitiful, and he had a blade wound, so I gave it to him.”

Li Muzhi sighed.

“Foolish.”

Nanny Feng explained afterward.

When First Miss gave alms, she stayed in her carriage and sent servants to distribute the money.

Then she had those servants bathe and forbade them from serving inside the inner gate again, lest they bring in the filth of the outside world.

But I had given a beggar the pin from my hair.

That was not like her.

“What does Your Majesty think of General Zhao?”

I hurriedly knelt, but my eyes went to Li Muzhi.

“I do not…”

Li Muzhi lowered his gaze without looking at me. His expression remained calm.

“My sister is fortunate that Your Highness is willing to arrange her marriage.”

A trace of regret crossed the emperor’s eyes, but he would not slight the noble consort. He nodded.

“Neither General Zhao nor this girl has her birth parents beside her. They are a pitiable pair with much in common,” she said.

“And since General Zhao has won a victory, why not add another happy occasion? Bestow something upon the couple, Your Majesty.”

With a few casual words from Noble Consort Jia, I was made Princess Heqing and presented as a reward to the distinguished General Zhao Mo.

No one cared whether I was willing.

On the journey home, a bitter wind blew into the carriage.

Li Muzhi sat beside me. When I lowered my head, tears fell.

“General Zhao has achieved great things. It is a fine match.”

“It is not. Not at all!”

I tried to wipe my tears away, but they would not stop.

“You don’t even know that I love…”

“I know.”

His words struck like thunder. All sound vanished from my ears.

For a brief moment, his embrace drew me into a dream. I caught the scent of pine and cypress on his robes.

Something like a snowflake brushed my lips.

So faint. So brief. So sweet.

The snowy mountain within my heart collapsed.

Yet he remained seated properly beside me.

Like a gentleman governed by restraint and propriety.

Like a brother who had never kissed his sister.

“But A-Yu, you know it is impossible.”

In the dream, I wept bitterly, unable to make out his face.

Only a wash of blood-red filled my vision.

He overturned the lamp oil and threw the key to the Plum Blossom Pavilion down from the high terrace.

However I begged and questioned him, he said nothing.

His eyes smiled.

He would not even let me die knowing why.