Nirvana Phoenix Girl - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I was born in the middle of a terrible drought.

My father’s wife waited outside the courtyard with her people for two full hours.

The midwife wrapped me in a rag and rushed out in a panic, crying, “It’s a girl. It’s a girl.”

My father’s wife’s face turned terrifying.

Ignoring the servants who tried to stop her, she charged into the birthing room, dragged my mother out from under the covers while she was still unconscious, and slapped her twice, one backhand after another.

When she was done, she wiped her hands in disgust. Seeing that my mother had woken, she said cruelly,

“Don’t blame me. Blame yourself for giving birth to such an ill-omened thing. My Jiao Jiao is destined to become Empress one day. She absolutely cannot be affected by this little bastard of yours.”

With that, she turned and pointed at newborn me, then said to the nanny beside her, “Drown her and throw her out. If the master asks, tell him Concubine He gave birth to a stillborn child.”

My mother begged until her voice broke.

She kowtowed again and again, then wrote a thousand-character blood letter in one furious sweep.

In it, she swore that I would never affect Zhou Lingjiao in the future, that I would be nothing more than a servant in the manor.

Later, when my father returned, he weighed the matter for a long time. In the end, he spared my life.

So from the time I was small, I knew my birth had never been wanted.

My mother would often hold me in her arms and stare into space, sighing that it would have been better if I had been born a boy.

It was not because my mother favored sons over daughters.

It was because three years earlier, the State Preceptor had opened an altar to question the heavens and divined that our family would produce a Heaven-Destined Phoenix Maiden.

That year, Concubine Bai gave birth to Zhou Lingjiao.

My father believed the prophecy had come true and happily held three days of banquets.

Even the Empress attended, and on the spot, she bestowed a pair of white jade bracelets upon Zhou Lingjiao.

By virtue of her daughter, Concubine Bai rose in status and successfully took the position of principal wife.

My mother had entered the manor at the same time as her.

Back then, my mother was delicate and beautiful, and the one my father loved most. Concubine Bai hated her to the bone for it.

So after she was elevated, she would find fault with my mother whenever she had the chance.

After my mother became pregnant, her days grew even more difficult.

For my father’s sake, Concubine Bai did not harm the child in her belly.

But more than once, she cursed my mother, saying, “If you give birth to a daughter, don’t blame me for being ruthless.”

After all, the prophecy had never mentioned two Heaven-Destined Phoenix Maidens.

And the Zhou Family did not need two daughters.

With nothing but a straw mat, Father sent my mother and me away to a deserted courtyard.

We ate leftovers and kitchen slop. We used whatever the servants no longer wanted.

Everyone thought we were unlucky and avoided us.

The one who looked after my mother and me was the elderly Nanny Xu.

She never allowed me to leave the deserted courtyard.

When I was five, I was filled with curiosity about the front courtyard and secretly slipped over to take a look.

That was the first time I saw Zhou Lingjiao.

At eight years old, she leaned against the covered bridge and fed the goldfish, wrapped in a fox-fur cloak as white as snow, with a large crowd of maids and serving women attending her.

It was also the first time Zhou Lingjiao saw me.

From across the bridge, she pointed at me with her pale, slender fingertip and asked, “Who is that?”

The serving women showed looks of disgust. “Just a little wild bastard. Eldest Miss, please don’t look at her. She’ll dirty your eyes.”

They swept away in a noisy cluster, and even the wind they stirred up was warm.

After they left, I lowered my eyes and looked at my own hands, covered in chilblains.

That was the first time I clearly understood the distance between Zhou Lingjiao and me.

That evening, someone from the front courtyard suddenly came.

She stood with her hands on her hips and ordered people to tie me to a bench.

I recognized her. She was the maid from the riverbank during the day.

Before Zhou Lingjiao, she had bowed and scraped like a slave. But now she was arrogant and overbearing, pointing at my nose as she cursed,

“You little slut, who allowed you to go to the front courtyard? How dare you appear before Eldest Miss? Looks to me like you’re tired of living.”

After she finished cursing, she ordered them to beat me thirty times with the plank.

I passed out on the third strike.

When I woke again, my mother was lying on the bed covered in blood, and Nanny Xu sat beside her, weeping nonstop.

When my mother saw that I was awake, she used all her strength to smile at me.

Nanny Xu carried me closer and pressed my head down, making me kowtow three times to my mother.

My mother’s eyes were very bright, but her breath was growing weaker and weaker.

She was not gentle as she usually was. In a firm, stern voice, she said to me,

“Ah Fu, promise Mother three things.”

I sensed something. I clutched her hand with all my strength and wanted to cry, but my eyes were so dry that no tears would fall.

My mother spoke very quickly.

“First, if you ever have the chance in the future, leave the Zhou Family and never come back.

“Second, learn your characters well and read. Suffering is not the root of depravity. Ah Fu, you must go out and see the world.

“Third, Ah Fu…”

My mother stroked my face and enunciated each word. “Do not live in hatred.”