Sharing One Life with My Nemesis - Chapter 20

Chapter 20

The second time Xie Huaiyan came to the Jiang Family to propose marriage, he finally brought betrothal gifts.

There were not many.

One chest of old books, one chest of medicinal herbs, one repaired old name plaque from the Jiang Mansion.

And one promissory note.

I picked it up.

It read:

Owed to Jiang Tingyun: seven-tenths of her trust. To be repaid within thirty years.

I stared at it for a long while.

“Thirty years?”

Xie Huaiyan stood beneath the veranda, his back perfectly straight.

“If you are willing, it can be longer.”

Father gave a cold snort from the side.

Xie Huaiyan immediately corrected himself.

“It will be as Miss Jiang wishes.”

Mother had a very hard time holding back her laughter.

I folded the promissory note and tucked it into my sleeve.

“Your betrothal gifts are too few.”

Xie Huaiyan said, “My salary was docked.”

I looked at him.

He added, “For two years.”

“Wasn’t it one year?”

“The previous punishment has not ended yet.”

I nearly laughed out loud.

Father’s expression softened a little, then quickly stiffened again.

“Xie Huaiyan.”

“This student is here.”

“If Tingyun marries you, it will not be to atone for your sins on your behalf.”

Xie Huaiyan said seriously, “I know.”

Father looked at him.

“Nor will it be to repay a debt of gratitude.”

“I know.”

“And it cannot all be blamed on the Soulbound Gu.”

Xie Huaiyan lifted his eyes to me.

“I know.”

Father asked, “Then what is the reason?”

Xie Huaiyan was silent for a moment.

In the past, he had been the best at hiding his words away. But now, forced to stand in this courtyard before the entire Jiang Family, he finally did not dodge.

“Because I want to see her,” he said.

“I want to talk to her. I want to hear her scold me. I want to watch her make her own choices.”

“I want her to no longer have to endure, no longer have to be afraid, no longer have to trap herself in an old case because of someone else’s mistakes.”

His voice was very soft, but very steady.

“I want to walk forward with her.”

The courtyard was quiet for a long time.

Jiang Yu’an suddenly sniffed.

I looked over.

He immediately said stubbornly, “It’s windy.”

Father also turned his eyes away.

Smiling, Mother placed my hand into Xie Huaiyan’s palm.

“Then walk together for a while first.”

Xie Huaiyan held my hand.

Very gently.

As if he were still afraid I would regret it.

I curled my fingers back around his.

“Xie Huaiyan.”

“Mm.”

“If it hurts in the future, you have to say so.”

“All right.”

“If you’re afraid, you have to say that too.”

“All right.”

“If you’re jealous, you can say that too.”

The tips of his ears turned red again.

I asked deliberately, “You’re still remembering what Lu Xingzhou said about me marrying him, aren’t you?”

Xie Huaiyan fell silent.

I burst out laughing.

“You really are?”

He said in a low voice, “A little.”

I rose onto my toes and whispered beside his ear, “Then remember this clearly.”

“In this life, the one I choose is you.”

His fingers tightened sharply.

Later, on the day we married, snow fell over the capital again.

Princess Ningjia rode over on horseback to deliver a gift: a piece of Northern Border Iron.

She said, “Use it to forge yourselves a lock, so someone won’t go requesting exile at the drop of a hat again.”

For once, Father did not put on a cold face.

Xie Huaiyan accepted the piece of iron and truly had someone forge it into a small lock.

The lock hung on the old gate in the rear courtyard of the Jiang Mansion.

It was the gate I had often climbed over when I was little.

It was also the place where he had caught me for the first time.

I asked him, “Why lock it? Are you not going to let me climb it anymore?”

Xie Huaiyan tied my cloak for me and said softly, “No.”

“Then what is it?”

He placed the key in my palm.

“Climb it whenever you want.”

“The gate will be left open for you.”

Holding that key, I suddenly thought of that red thread in death row.

It had once bound Xie Huaiyan and me together, binding our pain as one and our lives and deaths until they could not be separated.

But the bond between two people cannot rely only on a single Gu Thread.

After that, we spent a very long time learning to finish saying what we meant, to speak clearly of our pain, and to return each choice to the other person.

Xie Huaiyan would still wake in fright on rainy nights.

I would still dream of the execution grounds.

But when we woke, the lamp was always lit.

He would say, “Tingyun, I dreamed I came too late.”

And I would press his hand to my heart.

“Not this time.”

He would stay quiet for a long time, then gently hold me.

We both knew that what was owed from the last life would not be completely wiped clean by one confession of love.

So we would repay it slowly.

Over thirty years.

Over even longer.

Until, when we spoke again of the life we had once shared, we no longer thought only of pain.

But also remembered that, through the damp darkness of death row, someone had finally learned how to speak.

“Jiang Tingyun.”

“It hurts.”

“And I miss you too.”

The End