Shaxi Moon Crossing - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The Empress fell silent for a moment.

She looked at me, then at Wanxin.

In the end, she sighed. “This is my fault. I failed to think it through and arrange the futures each of you wanted.”

The Empress took both my hand and Wanxin’s at the same time.

“In that case, we shall do as you wish. Wanxin will stay, and Fuwei will leave the palace.”

She was a good mistress.

What people in this world yearned for most was either glory and wealth, or freedom.

She had wanted to leave us with what she believed was best.

Her intentions had been kind. Wanxin and I had never blamed her.

After that, she said nothing more.

She only lowered her eyes to the dagger on the table, endless sorrow filling her gaze.

In my previous life, I had known the Empress was different from other noble ladies.

By nature, she hated restraint.

All she wanted was freedom, yet she had married into the imperial family.

When her husband ascended the throne, she became the Empress.

She moved into this supremely honored imperial city, which would also imprison her for the rest of her life.

But the Empress was no ordinary woman.

She had to be dignified.

She had to be noble.

She had to restrain herself and abide by propriety.

She had to be the model for all women under heaven.

A saint.

A bodhisattva enshrined in a temple.

Even when she smiled, she had to hold herself back at every moment.

But that was far too exhausting.

Not everyone could endure it.

She had once had three sons and two daughters.

But two princes and one princess had been murdered, one after another, in this man-eating palace that devoured people without leaving even their bones.

Now, only one son and one daughter remained.

She did not even dare to raise them herself. She entrusted them entirely to the Empress Dowager.

She feared they, too, would be harmed by the harem.

She always said, “I am not a good Empress. I am so tired. I want so badly to leave this place.”

The Empress no longer wanted to be the Empress.

But Xiao Yin heard those words, and the emperor flew into a rage.

He denounced her. “Rong Yu, you were born to be Empress, and you will die as Empress. In this life, you will never leave the palace!”

From then on, the last light in the Empress’s heart went out.

On this day in my previous life,

she had suddenly begun arranging a way out for Wanxin and me.

Though we had no idea why,

we still never guessed that she meant to kill herself.

Poisoned wine, white silk, even a dagger-yet in the end, she chose to jump from a tower.

She did not wish to take anything with her.

She only wanted to leave cleanly, with no ties and no burdens.

A sharp pain struck my heart.

Wanxin felt the same.

She looked at the Empress. “This dagger may be beautiful with its inlaid gemstones, but it can still hurt someone. Why don’t I put it away for now?”

The Empress slowly withdrew her gaze.

She sighed.

“Very well. Put it away. I am tired and wish to rest for a while. You may both leave first.”