Snow on the Eaves - Chapter 3

Before daybreak the next morning, Xu Chang’an got up very quietly, shouldered his herb basket, and prepared to go sell vegetables.

I’d heard him tossing and turning all night, sighing now and then. He hadn’t slept a wink.

I climbed out of bed and called after him. “Wait. I’ll come with you.”

Xu Chang’an looked surprised. “You’re not angry anymore, Miss Yuan?”

What was there to be angry about? I wasn’t that petty.

“I know where there are plenty of herbs.” I pulled on my shoes. Seeing that I wouldn’t take no for an answer, he couldn’t very well refuse. Instead, he fetched the only cloak in the house and offered it to me.

It was old, but washed perfectly clean, with the same soap-pod scent as Xu Chang’an himself.

“The dew is heavy in the mornings,” he said awkwardly. “Put this on.”

I laughed. “I’ve got quite enough fire in me. I’m not afraid of the cold. You wear it.”

He mistook the scorn in my laugh for scorn directed at him. His hand drew back a little, and he gave an embarrassed smile.

I realized I’d apparently said the wrong thing again. I snatched the cloak, put it on, and went out with him.

What a troublesome person. Always so cautious, so afraid of upsetting me.

That, too, was different from the people I’d known before. They had been afraid because they worried I would take back what I’d given them.

Xu Chang’an was simply afraid I would be unhappy. After all, I hadn’t given him anything in the first place.

Why did he have to be so careful?

At the foot of the mountain, he said earnestly, “The mountain paths are muddy and rough. They’re very hard to walk. You can wait down here until I come back, Miss Yuan.”

I waved a hand to tell him to stop.

Always declining, always demurring. Just hearing it made me want to lose my temper.

All the way up, he supported me through the cloak, terrified I might fall.

He was treating the phoenix clan’s greatest warrior like a frail old woman who might topple over in a breeze.

Phoenixes were birds, and our noses were exceptionally sensitive to medicinal plants.

Around the edges of the mountain, there was nothing but common herbs that wouldn’t fetch much. The rare ones grew deep inside.

I led him farther in. Xu Chang’an had plenty of misgivings at first, but he was afraid too much talk would annoy me, so he never dared voice them.

We went deeper and deeper. The trees blotted out the sky, the frost was cold, and the dew lay thick.

Xu Chang’an remained tense and watchful, afraid a wild beast might attack.

Ridiculous. The moment I set foot there, I’d unleashed an overwhelming pressure over the whole area. The beasts were shivering in terror. They wouldn’t dare come near.

We gathered a heap of rare herbs and headed back. Xu Chang’an could scarcely contain his happiness all the way home.

When we took the herbs to the Liu residence in town, the steward’s eyes lit up. Quietly, he began to hatch a scheme.

“These are good herbs, Xu Chang’an, certainly. But you see, the market’s flooded with snow lotuses. They’re worthless now. And this ginseng—when have you ever seen ginseng grow so big? It must be fake, surely?”

Xu Chang’an stared, then hurried to explain. “Miss Yuan and I gathered all of these deep in the mountains. They can’t be fake.”

I watched with a cold smile. The steward shook his head. “Tell you what. Five hundred taels of silver. I’ll take the lot.”

Xu Chang’an had never heard of so much money in his life. Usually, a whole basket of herbs brought in only three copper coins. He and Xiaoxiao didn’t spend a single tael of silver in three months.

Five hundred taels would last them several lifetimes.

I clicked my tongue. “Five hundred? One snow lotus alone is worth more than that.”

Seeing Xu Chang’an tempted had sent the steward into secret raptures. He hadn’t expected me to expose him. His expression changed at once.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You think I’m cheating you?”

I couldn’t be bothered to argue. “Buy them if you can afford them. Otherwise, we’ll find someone else.”

The steward signaled to the servants, then put on another smile.

“I’ll take them. Come inside and we’ll talk. We can always agree on a price.”

I saw that little signal. My fists clenched; I nearly lost control of the violence surging inside me.

Fortunately for him, Xu Chang’an was beside me. That still gave me some pause. I promptly took his arm.

“We’re leaving. We’ll sell them somewhere else.”

The steward wasn’t about to let such easy prey escape. At his command, the servants closed in around us.

Even Xu Chang’an, slow as he was to catch on, understood now. We might not get out of this alive.

He thrust the herb basket into my arms and stepped in front of me.

“Run, Miss Yuan. I’ll hold them off.”

I looked at his slight, fragile frame.

…

Xu Chang’an was all self-sacrifice. He gave me a push and still remembered to add:

“You found the herbs. All the money is yours, too. Go!”

I was pushed out of the ring of servants. He gave me one last look.

I thought he’d ask me to take care of Xiaoxiao. Instead, with the utmost earnestness, he said:

“Have a good life, Miss Yuan.”

The steward had stood through that whole little performance for nothing. He rounded on the servants. “What are you standing there for? Stop the woman!”

I didn’t give them the chance. Bare-handed, I put the lot of them down in a few blows.

After giving the steward a thorough beating, I stood before Xu Chang’an, who was still rooted to the spot in astonishment.

He’d thought we were parting forever. His eyes were red.

“Anything else you’d like to say?” I asked.

“I…”

I asked the question bothering me. “Why didn’t you ask me to look after Xiaoxiao?”

That was how these things usually went. Long ago, a senior member of our clan had accepted a dying mortal’s request to raise his child. She’d never come back.

Mother called it a mortal’s swindle. Dying themselves was one thing; why drag an innocent person into it as well?

Just now, though, even if Xu Chang’an really had entrusted Xiaoxiao to me, I wouldn’t have thought it a swindle.

I liked Xiaoxiao. She wasn’t a burden.

Xu Chang’an gave a bitter smile. “I only thought that you have your whole youth ahead of you, Miss Yuan. I mustn’t hold you back. You’ve already been so kind to us. If I burdened you further, wouldn’t I be repaying kindness with harm? Wouldn’t that be ungrateful?”

That was a novel point of view. I reminded him, “But you saved my life. It wouldn’t be too much to ask.”

Xu Chang’an shook his head again and again and put the basket back on his shoulders.

“If you hadn’t helped me gather herbs, you wouldn’t have run into this trouble. It all began with me. How could I make the person kind enough to help me bear the consequences?”

“Besides…” He lowered his eyes, unable to look at me.

“I meant it when I told you to go. I wasn’t hoping to gain anything, or to make you do anything for me.

“If I’d entrusted Xiaoxiao to you as my dying wish, wouldn’t I have been binding you with a sense of duty?”

No one had ever told me any of this, or taught me to think this way.

They’d all wanted more from me, or racked their brains to make me give without asking anything in return.

This was the first time anyone had been so afraid of receiving even a little from me.

Intrigued, I said, “Don’t you mortals have a saying about repaying harm with kindness—”

“I only want to repay your kindness.”