Stab to Death, I Cannot Have a Weakness - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The geography class rep: Meng Yifeng.

A friend to every girl in class, the ultimate male bestie whose sexual orientation remained a mystery.

Meng Yifeng looked at me in my consort robes, then at Xiao Yu in his dragon robe.

All of a sudden, he lifted his hand in an exaggerated delicate gesture and let out a soul-stirring sigh.

“Dear heavens, my ice-cold joke ship is finally legal!”

“Ahem.” Xiao Yu cleared his throat.

Only then did Meng Yifeng put his hand down and give me a proper, solemn bow.

“Greetings, Your Grace. This humble official observed the stars last night and calculated that today would be most auspicious for you. You were destined for romance, though I see now it was fulfilled by eating grapes without spitting out the skins.”

“Ahem, ahem!” Xiao Yu coughed even louder.

I waved awkwardly. “No, it’s not… I got packaged up and sent in here by my scumbag father. Before this, I had no idea the emperor was Lu… Xiao Yu.”

Meng Yifeng gave a regretful “Oh.”

“So it wasn’t legal. It was imperial law.”

Then he turned his head, covered his mouth, and whispered to Xiao Yu.

“So Little Gu didn’t come willingly? Old Yu, a melon twisted off the vine by force won’t be sweet. Take my advice: since it’s winter, why don’t we just die now? Stay frozen for a few days. At least we’ll look tough.”

“Ahem, ahem, ahem! Ahem-”

Xiao Yu nearly coughed his voice into two pieces.

Meng Yifeng pressed his palms together. “A phoenix’s cry is heard once in a century. May my family be kept safe.”

Xiao Yu: “…”

Xiao Yu ground out through clenched teeth, “Meng. Yi. Feng. Do you think I wouldn’t dare do anything to you?”

“Oh, listen to you, pulling out the royal ‘I’ now. No wonder I thought His Majesty looked thinner today.”

“Where am I thinner?”

“Your mind. It’s gotten narrow.”

“…”

At last, I couldn’t hold back and laughed.

Here, deep in the palace of this strange world, I suddenly felt as if I were still back in class, bickering and messing around with everyone.

But Xiao Yu and Meng Yifeng both fell silent, staring blankly at me.

A little self-conscious, I pulled back my smile. “What?”

Xiao Yu’s expression softened slightly. “…Nothing.”

Meng Yifeng smiled like a doting auntie. “His Majesty is very happy because you finally smiled, beloved consort. Before this, he kept worrying that you would think he’d changed, and that you’d become distant from him forever.”

“Meng Yifeng! No one will mistake you for a mute if you don’t talk!”

I almost laughed again.

Then, all at once, a sharp pain stabbed through my chest.

I let out a muffled groan and bent over, cold sweat beading on my forehead.

“Gu Rui? What’s wrong?” Xiao Yu’s face changed instantly. “Someone! Summon the imperial physicians, now!”

The smile vanished from Meng Yifeng’s face too. He spun around and ran off to call people.

I gritted my teeth and pressed a hand tightly over my heart.

I hadn’t expected the poison my scumbag father gave me to act up so quickly.

Before long, a group of white-bearded old men were half-supported and half-shoved inside by Meng Yifeng.

Yet after they took my pulse one by one, they only exchanged helpless looks.

“R-Reporting to Your Majesty…”

The elderly imperial physician in the lead trembled as he spoke. “Her Ladyship’s pulse is weak and floating. It seems… it seems she suffers from frailty, like a congenital heart condition brought from the womb…”

In other words: we can’t treat it, there’s no cure, figure it out yourselves.

Xiao Yu listened without a trace of expression.

Only his eyes were dark, deep, and heavy.

After I drank some nourishing soup and recovered a little, Xiao Yu led the imperial physicians to the outer room for a private discussion.

For a while, only Meng Yifeng and I were left in the inner chamber.

After not seeing him for so long, Meng Yifeng had grown taller. More mature, too. And also somehow even more “feminine.”

I supposed that over the past four years, the others in our class had all reached adulthood as well.

…If everyone was still alive, that was.

“Little Gu, are you feeling any better?”

Meng Yifeng looked me over worriedly.

“Much better.” I nodded. “My heart just cramped up for a moment there. I’m fine now.”

Only then did Meng Yifeng let out a sigh. “Little Gu, you might not know this since you only just entered the palace, but I locked eyes with Xiao Yu at morning court the moment I transmigrated here. Looking back on it now, that feeling of running into someone from home in a foreign land, of almost bursting into tears on the spot… it was so warm.”

“Is it not warm anymore?” I teased. “Under all heaven, you’re probably the only person capable of making the current emperor so mad he starts shrieking.”

“True dat.”

Meng Yifeng proudly pursed his lips and struck a pose like he was showing off a fresh manicure.

“But that’s still because you’re here. With you, his old desk mate, around, even if I climbed onto that brat’s head and played Yao, I bet he still wouldn’t dare drag me out and behead me on the spot!”

Then Meng Yifeng pressed his lips back into that pout and lowered his eyes slightly. “But, Little Gu… you should prepare yourself. The Old Yu now might not be quite the same as the one you remember.”

Hesitation crossed my face. “How is he different?”

Meng Yifeng glanced toward the door and said solemnly,

“He’s become… even more charismatic.”

Me: “Huh?”

Meng Yifeng: “Everywhere he goes, he slays men and women alike.”

“That’s called being a tyrant, damn it!”

“Damn. Should’ve said that sooner.”

Our eyes met, and then we both burst out laughing.

But as we laughed, Meng Yifeng’s voice gradually quieted.

“At least, in front of you, he can still find himself again. As long as you’re here, maybe he won’t lose himself completely in this godforsaken place that eats people alive…”

This time, I didn’t answer.

I simply took out the silk handkerchief embroidered all over with secret messages.

Or rather, the silk handkerchief embroidered all over with English.

“Old Meng, your English is good. Help me see what this word means?”

I pointed at the English word following the pinyin “Mu Yaoyao.”

It was something I’d embroidered not long after transmigrating here, and it represented the absolute peak of my English ability.

So much so that, four years later, these secret messages had successfully guarded against the ancient people.

They had also successfully guarded against me.

“Mu Yaoyao… Mu Yaoyao?”

Meng Yifeng sounded it out once, and his eyes instantly lit up with terrifying brightness. “You found her?!”

I shook my head. “Four years ago, when I was still at the Chancellor’s Mansion, I happened to get a bit of news out of a servant. The name was the same, but I was locked inside the mansion at the time and couldn’t get out. I couldn’t be sure whether it was her.”

The light in Meng Yifeng’s eyes dimmed again.

He continued sounding out the English word after it. “Bordello…”

“This is bad!” Meng Yifeng jumped in place. “This is bad! We have to go find her right now!”

My heart plummeted.

Just then, the door to the inner room was pushed open, and Xiao Yu walked back in. “What’s all the noise about?”

“Yaoyao is in danger!”

Meng Yifeng threw himself at him with reddened eyes. “She’s your beloved consort’s bestie, basically half your mother-in-law! Your Majesty, you can’t just stand by and watch her die! Every extra minute she spends in a place like that is torture!”

Xiao Yu didn’t speak right away. Not even his expression changed.

He only looked at me.

I immediately stood up, swallowing down the metallic taste that had just surged into my throat.

I patted my chest. “I’m fine, really! Look, I’m in great shape! Desk mate… we have to save Yaoyao.”

Xiao Yu stared at me for a full five seconds before finally sighing.

“I swear, you two are unbelievable. Let’s go.”

As he spoke, he turned and pushed the door open again.

“Go… where?” I asked instinctively.

Xiao Yu looked back.

“Out of the palace. An incognito inspection.”