Surviving in the General's Mansion - Chapter 40

Chapter 40: Warmth in His Heart

Mo Qing watched as his general held out his hand toward Mo Bai for a handkerchief for ages, while Mo Bai was still off in another world.

Only after Mo Qing jabbed him with an elbow did he finally snap back to himself.

Cang Chuli took the handkerchief and wiped his face, then shot him a glance.

“Thinking about some girl?”

Mo Bai hurriedly dropped to his knees and begged for mercy.

“Young Master, I was wrong.”

“What were you thinking about? You were so lost in thought. If you took any longer to hand me the cloth, your young master would have drowned.”

Mo Bai’s left eyelid twitched. He glanced at the washbasin, which held only half a basin of water, and wisely chose not to argue.

“This subordinate was only thinking… will there really be people who understand us?”

Cang Chuli stopped in his tracks and looked him over carefully from head to toe.

Mo Qing also clenched his teeth in silence, feeling that everything this man said today carried a sour sort of melancholy.

“What do you mean?”

Mo Bai repeated what he had overheard yesterday outside the door of Zhao Siyan and Zhao Die.

“This subordinate just feels that after all these years, it seems I’ve never heard anyone say something like that…

“It isn’t as if this subordinate insists that people remember us or thank us.

“But for someone to think of what we hoped for, and to say it straight into our hearts…

“This subordinate… this subordinate…”

Mo Bai felt he really was too useless.

Yesterday, after hearing Zhang Qiang say that the Zhao sisters had fainted after they left and had been carried back, he had thought to sneak over and take a look, lest they had dealt with the old one only for the younger ones to cause trouble for them.

When he reached their door and heard that there were other people inside, he did not go in. Instead, he secretly eavesdropped from outside.

It was not exactly honorable, but he admitted there had been an element of testing them.

Even after spending three days settling accounts with Xia Heng and the others, he still could not fully trust her.

So what if she was capable? Who was to say she was not another trap?

But after listening at the door for a while, he could no longer stay calm.

How could this person speak in a way that made his blood boil and his eyes sting a little?

Wasn’t that exactly how it had been? Back then, when he and the general were gnawing on those hard cakes made of elm bark flour mixed with Guanyin clay, what they had been thinking in their hearts was, “I hope our Chuqing can eat her fill, stay warm, and live happily.”

What if-he was only saying what if!

What if they failed to hold Yongcheng? Would those Tujue dogs cross the Huai River?

And once they crossed the Huai River, would the capital still be far?

Thinking back to the horrors they had seen when they first arrived at Yongcheng…

The women and children collapsed by the roadside had not even had a single sheet of cloth to wrap their bodies.

At that moment, he had decided that unless those Tujue dogs stepped over his corpse, even if he had to stake his life on it, he would never let them set foot inside Huaxia!

They had never expected anyone to understand them. After all, they had not joined the army for the sake of being understood.

Just like the day they returned to the capital, when the streets were packed with people.

Young ladies and aunties threw purses and flowers at the sight of them, saying nothing but:

“These men have made something of themselves! Who knows how many rewards they’ll receive this time!”

“If you ask me, the Zhenbei Army really has excellent fortune. They’ve risen faster than anyone!”

But was their fortune really good? When they were freezing, starving, and being bitten by insects on the Northern Frontier, why had no one said they had good fortune then?

Even so, those were still kind words.

There were also young masters and young ladies from noble families who, the moment they got a little too close, would cover their noses with their sleeves and show open disgust.

He knew exactly why they covered their noses.

Wasn’t it just because they had not bathed in two or three months?

The fighting at the front line had been so fierce that they had not even had food to eat. Where would they have found the time and energy to bathe?

He had also seen plenty of people who thought they were nothing but filthy soldiers, that it was only right for them to go hungry and cold, and that resisting the Tujue was simply what they ought to do.

They deserved to be wounded, deserved to die. If they enjoyed even the slightest comfort, then they were in the wrong!

Whenever they met people like that, never mind their general-even he and Mo Qing could not be bothered to spare them a glance.

Hmph. There was no need to say much. Drag them along to the borderlands for a few days, and they would understand soon enough.
But ever since he had heard Xia Heng’s words yesterday, he had tossed and turned for half the night without falling asleep.

That indifferent heart of his seemed to have warmed again.

Mo Bai wiped the corner of his eye with his sleeve.

“This subordinate just feels… like my heart’s gone warm.

“When we were in the Northern Frontier and our rations were cut off for three straight months, this subordinate even wondered if everyone wanted us dead. Did they want the Tujue to march into the capital?

“Otherwise, if they were normal people at all, how could they treat us like that?”

“Quite a lot of resentment there.”

Cang Chuli chuckled softly.

“Didn’t you say last time that she couldn’t be fully trusted? Why aren’t you afraid it’s fake this time?”

Mo Bai also remembered what he had once said. He pursed his lips and said,

“Even if it’s fake, my heart still feels warm! I feel like I have more strength to fight wars now!”

“Look at how easily satisfied you are.”

After listening, Mo Qing fell silent too. He understood Mo Bai’s feelings all too well.

For Miss Xia to say something like that…

Heh. She really was damn talented!

Cang Chuli leaned back in his chair.

This rations cutoff had dealt no small blow to the Zhenbei Army.

Even his personal attendant had once felt that way. There was no need to ask what the others in the camp thought.

If Xiao Yaqing’s grain had not arrived in time, and if he had not been there to hold things down,

morale would likely have wavered even more violently.

But Xia Heng was right.

The reason the Zhenbei Army existed was to let every citizen of Huaxia eat their fill!

And to protect them from harassment by other nations.

People were destined not to take others’ feelings into consideration.

Just like those fat-headed nobles in the capital would never consider whether the Zhenbei Army had enough to eat or warm clothes to wear,

or whether the people on the border could pass this New Year in peace.

They did not even know how many people would die if this war was lost-including themselves.

That woman might not truly have been able to put herself in their shoes when she said those things.

The reason she had said them was probably to make sure the Zhao sisters stopped aiding evildoers in the future and stopped making trouble.

It was hard to tell on ordinary days, but that woman was actually quite good at winning people’s hearts…

As for his own attendant,

forget it. Let him stay moved for now. Hadn’t he said it himself?

He had more strength to fight wars now.

Mo Bai had finally spoken what was in his heart and vented the thoughts he had been keeping inside. Now his whole face was a little red.

Had he been too sentimental just now?

He had even asked his general if anyone would understand them…

Uncle Zhao’s arrival rescued Mo Bai from his mortification.

“Young Master, Young Master Mu has brought his elder brother to pay you a visit. In addition, the Zhao sisters wish to leave the manor to buy some things. What do you think?”

“Buy what?”

Cang Chuli asked.

“Please look it over.”

Uncle Zhao handed the two sisters’ shopping list to Cang Chuli.

The moment Cang Chuli saw the familiar charcoal pencil marks and the horizontal style of writing, he knew whose hand this list had come from.

He read through it item by item.

The items were quite complete. It almost looked like something he would prepare before going on a campaign.

Old clothes? She had some brains.

He handed the list back to Uncle Zhao.

“Mm. Let them go. The exile procession is in three days, so approve their leave and let them all go together.

“It will be a good chance for them to see what exiled criminals look like and find out whether they will still have the nerve in the future.”

After hearing the first sentence, Uncle Zhao was just wondering whether his young master had finally grown up.

He was being so agreeable that it almost seemed like he had a shred of humanity.

But why let them all go? The others weren’t from the Zhao Mansion.

Then the next sentence came out.

The King of Hell had nothing on him.

What decent person gave a warning by letting someone directly watch an exile procession…?

“Then Young Master Mu?”

“Let them in.”