The Adventures of the Peace Princess in Marriage Alliance - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Holding my godmother by the lead, I entered the Northern Dynasty imperial palace with the full pomp and circumstance of a marriage-alliance procession.

I had heard that Song Zhunzhi placed great importance on me, his marriage-alliance princess, so he had specially arranged for me to stay in Yongning Palace-the palace farthest, farthest, farthest, farthest away from his own bedchamber.

Whether he was afraid he would curse me to death, or that I would curse him to death, I could not say.

Oh, right. I forgot to mention-my godmother was a gentle sheep.

The year I was born, my very first cry shattered a glazed cup.

The Imperial Observatory calculated my fate on their fingers and concluded that my destiny was so hard that I absolutely had to acknowledge some soft-natured living creature as my godmother.

As luck would have it, the kitchen staff fumbled at that exact moment, and a lamb escaped, leaving a trail of little pellets all the way behind it.

The officials of the Imperial Observatory lit up, raised a hand, and pointed.

And so, that sheep became my godmother.

We were still exchanging pleasantries when a shrill announcement suddenly rang out from the palace doors:

“His Majesty has arrived!”

I looked up to see a man in black-and-gold finery striding in, tall and upright, chin slightly lifted.

He cast his gaze toward me with limitless imperial majesty, and then-

Splat.

He slipped on a freshly produced pellet courtesy of my godmother.

I was so startled that I sucked in a sharp breath, and the pastry in my throat lodged itself there at once.

“He-help, help, help…”

In an instant, Yongning Palace descended into chaos. Everyone rushed around in a panic and swarmed toward us.

Some muttered, “This servant deserves death,” as they helped Song Zhunzhi up.

Others thumped me on the back and shoved tea into my hands.

Still others had already flown out to summon the imperial physicians.

Strange, really. When ordinary people slip on sheep droppings, the worst they get is a scrape, or perhaps a bruised knee. In any case, they do not die from it.

But Song Zhunzhi fell unconscious on the spot and had to be carried to a couch by the eunuchs.

Choking on a pastry was not exactly rare either, but no matter what, I could not swallow it down. My face turned bright red from lack of air.

In that instant, I could have sworn I saw Ox-Head and Horse-Face-one standing before me, the other by Song Zhunzhi’s couch.

Heavens above, was the world about to lose two unparalleled talents at the same time?

A moment later, a dense swarm of imperial physicians in blue robes rushed in.

One rather young physician dropped into a sliding kneel before me and knocked his head three times against the floor.

“Changming Princess, this subject must offend you!”

He charged at me in one stride. Before I could react, he slapped me three times without a word.

Smack, smack, smack-

He used tremendous force, and the spots where his palm landed were clearly chosen with great precision.

I had no idea what acupoints he had struck. All I felt was a surge of air rising from my dantian and rushing straight toward my throat.

“Pfft-”

A tiny piece of snowflake cake shot out of my throat and fell to the floor.

I had survived disaster.

With my face swollen, I turned to look.

Song Zhunzhi lay motionless on the couch, his body covered in silver needles. The imperial physicians were sweating buckets from sheer anxiety.

A sliver of hope rose in my heart, and no matter how I tried, I could not keep the corners of my mouth from lifting.

Sure enough, when hardness clashed against hardness, I was still the harder one!

Die for me!

That night, Dongzhu and I lit a lamp and wrote a letter.

“To my imperial father, may you be well: Today, your daughter achieved a great victory in her first battle. With one strike, I delivered a fatal blow and cursed the dog emperor of the Northern Dynasty to death!”

“Kekekekekeke!”

Dongzhu tugged at my sleeve and urged me to keep my voice down.

I ignored her. Spreading both sleeves wide, I laughed even more wildly, like the leader of a demonic cult who had just mastered a peerless technique.

Unfortunately, I pulled at the wound on the corner of my mouth, and pain twisted my face out of shape.

Alas, the heavens did not grant me my wish.

At midnight, a maid came to report:

“His Majesty is awake!”

Song Zhunzhi was no longer in serious danger.

I pouted. Reluctant as I was, I had no choice but to crawl out of bed and visit the injured party.

After all, I was still on his territory.

Inside Anle Palace, I, with my face swollen like a pig’s head, and he, pricked full of needles like a hedgehog, stared at each other resentfully.

“Changming Princess truly lives up to her name.”

“You’re not bad yourself,” I shot back.

Candlelight washed over half his face. His finely shaped brows and eyes were now filled with fighting spirit.

I gave a cold laugh.

So this was what it meant to meet one’s match.