The Crown Prince Is My Mom - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

On a silent night, I lay flat on my bed, stiff as a board, listening to Helian Yu read the Tao Te Ching to me.

All because I had run my mouth and said, “When I was little, my mother used to tell me stories every night to lull me to sleep.” Helian Yu’s eyes had lit up, and he dug out his old books. He had barely read a few lines before my eyelids started fighting each other.

It was probably Helian Yu’s first time being a mother, so he had no experience. As he read, he even stopped now and then to quiz me. “‘Hold fast to the great image, and all under heaven will come. They come and suffer no harm, finding peace, safety, and ease.’ What does that mean?”

I opened my clear, stupid eyes and answered, “It means if you carry an elephant around the world, you usually won’t be scared, and the world will be at peace.”

Helian Yu sucked in a cold breath. “I underestimated you.”

He abruptly flipped a few pages and pointed at the line, “When the world follows the Way, swift horses are retired to fertilize the fields. When the world loses the Way, warhorses are bred in the suburbs.” Then he asked me, “What about this one?”

I was so sleepy I could barely see the words. In a daze, I replied, “There was a road, but it got filled with horse manure. When there wasn’t a road, they gave birth to warhorses in the suburbs.”

Helian Yu was so shocked he did not even notice the book slipping from his hands. He muttered to himself, “Heavens! Could she really be intellectually impaired?”

I had already closed my eyes and drifted peacefully to sleep, only to be startled awake when Helian Yu suddenly slapped the table. Apparently, I had provoked him so badly that he could not sit still. He paced back and forth in the room, then rushed over and shook me awake.

“Stop sleeping! How can someone your age sleep at a time like this? Recite the Tao Te Ching first, and then I will explain the meaning to you!”

Helian Yu, you really are my living mother. Fine, let’s suffer. Who could ever outlast you?

After dragging me through half a night of reading, Helian Yu finally remembered that tonight’s mission was supposed to be lulling me to sleep.

Embarrassed, he asked, “Tang Xiaoxi, what book did your mother use when she told you stories before?”

I instantly perked up, pulled a copy of The Chaste Widow and the Handsome Scholar from under my pillow, and stuffed it into Helian Yu’s hands.

Helian Yu went rigid from head to toe, holding the book as if it were a hot potato. “Th-this, this, this… How improper!”

I said impatiently, “Hurry up and read! My mother always read to me!”

Helian Yu had no choice but to begin reading, stumbling over every word. The contents made him break out in a full-body sweat.

This time, the roles were reversed. I had my eyes closed, but I was brimming with energy, while Helian Yu’s voice grew quieter the more he read. He was so tired he kept yawning.

Maybe he thought I had fallen asleep because my eyes were closed. The moment Helian Yu stood up and prepared to leave, I suddenly opened my eyes. “Why did you stop?”

Helian Yu nearly lost his soul from fright and had no choice but to sit back down.

The weak, mechanical sound of reading started up again.

The next morning, Helian Yu, red-eyed, struggled to crawl out of bed and attend morning court.

Faced with the chief eunuch’s questioning, Helian Yu said instinctively, “This humble woman… Pah. I had insomnia last night, so I rose a little late.”

“Shall this servant go wake Princess Yuxi?”

Even through the palace doors, I could hear Helian Yu’s roar. “Are you insane? I finally managed to lull her to sleep! Pass down my order: whoever wakes Princess Yuxi, I will execute his entire clan!”

I yawned, rolled over, and went back to sleep.