The Crown Princess Knows a Little Kung Fu - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Sometimes, when intelligence can’t solve a problem, you still have to rely on brute force.

While he was staring intently at my fingernails, I slipped my other hand around the back of his neck and knocked him out.

Unfortunately, after I carried the Crown Prince back to the main hall, the maids of the Eastern Palace all trembled at the sight of me.

Their eyes seemed to say: The Crown Princess has pretended to be a proper lady for so long, but sure enough, she can’t keep it up anymore.

Ahem. The Crown Prince’s health came first.

I did not explain myself to anyone. I only ordered them to summon the imperial physicians.

Inside the main hall, the Crown Prince suddenly shouted, “I am not sick!”

“Impudent! I am the Legitimate Crown Prince! You concubine-born imperial physicians are not allowed near me!”

The Crown Prince stood on top of a table, his face filled with terror.

It was as though the imperial physicians before him had not come to save him, but to kill him.

He pointed at one particularly handsome imperial physician with a look of disgust.

“Especially you. You concubine’s concubine-born son. Touch me again and see if I don’t die on the spot.”

The man could neither advance nor retreat.

He kept bowing awkwardly.

“Your Highness, please don’t be like this. We are terrified.”

I stood at the doorway, watching the chaos inside, and felt a terrible headache coming on.

The Crown Prince really did treat all concubine-born people equally.

Seeing that his illness was no small matter, I turned and ordered the palace servants to bring over some snacks, planning to go in and keep the poor, frail patient company.

On the bed, the Crown Prince hugged himself, dressed in pale blue robes, looking pitifully at everyone.

“Wuwu, where is the Crown Princess? I want to complain to the Crown Princess about all of you.”

I walked closer and gently patted his back.

In a soft voice, I said, “Your Highness, I am here.”

Yet the moment he saw me, his eyes lit up. He opened his arms wide, and the words that came out of his mouth were rather wild.

“Crown Princess, kisses.”

My face twitched. I quickly stuffed a hibiscus cake into his mouth. “I really do think you are very ill, Your Highness.”

After undergoing treatment, the Crown Prince became increasingly unhinged.

All day long, he muttered about the hierarchy between legitimate and concubine-born children.

As for my concubine-born younger sister, I was afraid the Crown Prince would be provoked, so I did not want the two of them to meet.

Even those highly respected concubine-born imperial physicians had made the Crown Prince act like a chaste and virtuous martyr.

If Wen Cuiguo, who had not one but two layers of “concubine-born” attached to her, happened to run into him, wouldn’t the Crown Prince explode into heroic fragments on the spot?

For the sake of my peaceful second half of life, I had no choice but to first have the maids keep my younger sister firmly under watch.

In a few days, I would find an opportunity to send her away.

But when a person was unlucky, even a sip of cold water could scald their mouth.

Somehow, my concubine-born younger sister had actually dug a large hole in the corner of the chicken shed where she was staying and crawled out.

Looking at the gray-faced, dirt-covered young woman standing before me, for a moment, I could not tell whether my frail younger sister was the Military Zhuangyuan, or whether I, the Crown Princess who spent all day doing nothing but eating and drinking, was the Military Zhuangyuan.

“Cuiguo, what are you trying to do?”

Her eyes seemed filled with grand ambition, and the words she spoke gave me quite a fright.

“Thirty years east of the river, thirty years west of the river.

“Do not look down on a poor young woman.

“As long as the green hills remain, I’ll use you as firewood.”

I stared at her blankly, not understanding what exactly she was trying to express.

But it seemed like she was provoking me.

I raised my hand and loosened my fist, looking at her calmly. “Say that again.”

In less than a breath, she retreated ten steps.

Pointing at my hand, she shook her head again and again.

I was very satisfied with her reaction, even if the way she looked at me was as though she were looking at a savage beast or a raging flood.

Before marrying, I spent my days at home practicing with spears and cudgels. I even defeated countless opponents and became the Military Zhuangyuan.

And what had that been for, if not to show off?

There was no telling how much joy there was in constantly displaying one’s martial prowess and superiority before others.

“Hmph. Concubine-born is concubine-born. You overestimate yourself.”

The moment I finished saying this, I hurriedly covered my mouth, aghast.

Terrible!

This was terrible.

I had been subtly influenced by the Crown Prince, and had actually picked up his famous legitimate-supremacy, anti-concubine-born sayings.

At this moment, my younger sister looked me over with a strange expression and asked, “Aren’t you concubine-born too?”

Oh, right!

I suddenly came to my senses.

I was concubine-born too. Because my mother could not give birth to a son, my grandmother forced my father to demote his wife to a concubine.

Unable to endure the humiliation, she hanged herself the very next day.

So, in truth, I was also a proper concubine-born daughter.

It was just that I had been far too rampant at home in the past.

Whenever things did not go my way, I would drag my grandmother and father over to practice punches with me. As a result, no one in the residence ever treated me like a concubine-born daughter.

If Wen Cuiguo hadn’t said it, I would have forgotten.

Just as I was pondering this, she assumed I had been refuted into silence and took one smug step forward.

“Dear elder sister, after marrying into the Eastern Palace, you’ve gotten a whole size fatter. His Highness is sure to prefer someone slimmer like me.

“Besides, I have Aunt Imperial Consort Shu as my backer. Even if the Crown Prince doesn’t take a liking to me right away, sooner or later, he will have to win over my aunt.

“When that time comes, I’d like to see what you’ll use to fight me.”

Hearing this, I touched the flesh on my stomach.

I hadn’t gained weight, had I?

Still, what she said was not entirely without reason.

But that did not stop me from beating her.

I picked up that little bean sprout and smacked her twice on the backside, making her howl.

“Aaaah! You dare hit me!

“Just you wait. I will definitely steal the Crown Prince from you.

“When that time comes, I’ll make you carry my shoes for me every day.”

I gave her a disdainful glance, then turned and walked away.

I left her behind, stomping her feet in rage.