The Spring of Dahua - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I am a butcher. I don’t know how to coax children, and I had no idea whether Xie Miaoyi was willing to stay with me or not.

She said nothing, just stood quietly in the doorway, rising onto her toes every so often to peer outside.

I did not try to comfort her. I went straight into the main room and started cooking.

There was always pork bone broth simmering in the main room. A faint sheen of oil floated on top, and the soup was milky white, as if every bit of essence had been drawn from the bones.

The firewood burned high. The pork bone broth boiled and splashed. I sliced pork thinly and dropped it into the pot, and the meat curled at once.

The aroma drifted up to my nose, rich and savory.

Then I brought out tofu, coated it in flour, and pan-fried it slowly over a gentle flame.

I seared crucian carp again and again in hot oil, then added salt, wine, vinegar, Sichuan peppercorn, tangerine peel, and fermented black beans before letting it braise over low heat.

I also made vegetarian three-delicacy balls and a crushed rice porridge with hawthorn and pear. Three dishes, one soup, and one porridge went onto the table just as the sky darkened.

Xie Miaoyi was still watching outside, but her expression had softened considerably.

I supposed she had thought things through.

I changed into a new set of clothes and washed my hands very carefully before going over and patting her shoulder.

“Want to eat?”

Xie Miaoyi looked at me in surprise, but she did not act shy. She obediently sat down on the stool.

Only, faced with a table full of meat dishes, she had no idea where to start.

In that, she took after her refined father.

I smiled and served her a bowl of hawthorn and pear crushed rice porridge. Sweet and tart, good for whetting the appetite.

Xiaocao had loved this most of all.

The pork bone broth was wonderfully fresh. The pork rolls, dusted with chili powder, were numbing, spicy, savory, and fragrant on the tongue.

The tofu was crisp on the outside, yet tender and refreshing within.

The crucian carp’s bones had softened until even the tiny spines fell apart, and the flesh was full of sauce.

The three-delicacy balls had layers of texture, rich and delicious.

…

Before she knew it, Xie Miaoyi was wolfing down her food and finished two bowls of rice.

When she noticed me watching her, she immediately put down her chopsticks. Her cheeks flushed faintly, and she looked a little embarrassed.

I looked away, picked up a fresh pair of chopsticks, and served her some food.

“The trip from Capital City takes four whole hours, and on top of that, you stood all day. Eating more won’t hurt.”

“Besides, anything we don’t finish has to be thrown out tomorrow. What a waste that would be.”

Xie Miaoyi’s eyes slowly reddened. After a long while, she gave a soft, “Mm.”

What a silly child.

I missed Xiaocao a little.

Xie Miaoyi kept a very regular schedule.

After I finished slaughtering pigs in the backyard, she would get up just as the sky began to brighten.

Because we were not very familiar with each other, we only exchanged a word or two during meals.

Most of the time, we each stayed in our own rooms and did not disturb each other.

Though I truly did not understand what was so interesting about sitting alone in a room all day.

She did not dare watch me slaughter pigs.

The pigs’ screams were too shrill. They frightened her.

Even though I told her, “The Zhu Family is truly skilled at slaughtering pigs. Our secret technique is one slash to the throat. I guarantee the pig will only squeal once at most, then it’ll be dead as dead can be.”

Xie Miaoyi still refused. Her face went white with fear.

Xiaocao had been different. Xiaocao would even stand beside me and clap to cheer me on.

Looking back now, Xiaocao truly was an extraordinary child.

Xie Miaoyi was very thin, like a bony little sick cat.

When she spoke to people, her voice was always soft and delicate, just like spring water rippling under a breeze across a blue lake.

But that was no matter. I had plenty of experience fattening pigs.

Crystal pork hock, crispy-boned fish, cloud-sliced ham, lily pastries, cherry pork with yam, wine-scented quail, almond tofu, sour plum drink…

As long as my purse was still full, I would not let either my stomach or Xie Miaoyi’s go empty.

In less than half a month, Xie Miaoyi gained some flesh. It did not show on her face, though; her chin was still pointed.

Every time Old Lady Wang passed by my house, she would shout at the top of her lungs, “You’ve got yourself another Xiaocao, eh? So skinny! She won’t even have the strength to help her mother work! If you ask me, you’d be better off giving all that meat to my Yaozu!”

Whenever that happened, Xie Miaoyi would lower her head and stare at her embroidered shoes, as if she had done something wrong.

But what wrong had she done?

She had been a precious young lady, only to be suddenly told she was actually a butcher’s daughter. She had not looked down on me, so how could I possibly look down on her for not helping me work?

Besides, I had never made Xiaocao work either.

Xiaocao liked rolling in the mud and liked cursing people. I never stopped her from any of it.

Those two girls should both be dearer to me than my own heart.

I pulled Xie Miaoyi into my arms.

For the first time, I held my own biological daughter.

“You don’t need to pay her any mind. Just treat it as… as her being foolish.”

I had originally wanted to say something crude like “treat it as her farting,” but I was afraid of scaring Xie Miaoyi, so I switched to a more refined phrase.

Xie Miaoyi must have truly felt wronged, because great drops of tears soaked into my clothes.

Choking back sobs, she asked, “Mother, am I useless?”

I sighed. “No.”

Then I froze. “Wait. What did you call me?”

Xie Miaoyi grew embarrassed and called softly, “Mother…”

I held her even tighter, but what came to mind was the first time Xiaocao had called me Mother.

Back then, Xiaocao had been frail. Every now and then, she would come down with a high fever, scaring me so badly I dared not sleep for whole nights at a time.

Once, Xiaocao burned with fever for three full days. Even the doctor came and only shook his head.

I held Xiaocao and cried all night, muttering crazily by her ear, “Xiaocao, Xiaocao, get well soon. Once you’re better, Mother will take you to eat pork every day. The more you eat, the stronger you’ll get, and you’ll never fall sick again.”

Perhaps Xiaocao had grown annoyed by my chanting, or perhaps the immortals saw how sincere I was. The next day, Xiaocao really did recover just like that.

I nearly wept with joy.

Xiaocao’s tiny finger hooked around mine. Her grape-like eyes rolled about, and in a milky little voice, she called, “…Mother.”

I was certain I had heard it.

My heart went unbearably soft.

Just like now.

Xie Miaoyi said, “Mother, the truth is, I miss my mother very much. Will you blame me?”

The mother she spoke of was surely Madam Cui.

I stroked her hair. “No.”

Longing is not silent.

Longing seeps into every moment.

I miss my Xiaocao, but I also love my Miaoyi.

I am certain the scales in my heart will not tip to either side.