The Substitute Fiasco - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Back at the prince’s mansion, my days were more than comfortable. I ate and drank whatever I pleased, and Mother still had that rose-tinted filter from our long separation, though it usually shattered within three days.

I’d already worked it out: stay at my maiden home for three days, then go back. A little cold shoulder would wake Shen Wen up.

As I lay on the daybed eating grapes, my little sister suddenly threw herself on me, crushing me so I could barely breathe. “You stinky brat, are you trying to kill me? Get off, get off!”

Huairou squeezed a couple of times, hard enough to shove me aside. That tiny bed somehow ended up with two people on it.

Damn, half my butt was hanging off.

“Elder Sister, we haven’t seen each other in so long. Don’t you miss me?” She batted her big eyes and wriggled in my arms.

Of course I missed her, but this girl was naturally jumpy and clingy as heck. My rose-tinted filter for her shattered before I could even take three breaths.

“It’s sweltering! Get off me!”

“No, no, no…”

After a string of pointless back-and-forth, I finally gave up: this girl was sticky, like glue.

“Elder Sister, have you seen Brother Gu yet?” Alright, now she’s getting down to business.

I shook my head. “A few days ago, I could have taken a peek for you, but Shen Wen just wouldn’t let me go out. That’s exactly why I’m ticked off at him.”

“It’s all my fault for quarreling with Gu Qingzhi. Otherwise, she would’ve sent me an invitation too.” Her lips drooped in disappointment, then her eyes suddenly lit up. “How about I climb over the wall? My lightness skill has improved a lot lately.”

Great. If Mother knew you were using the kung fu she taught you to scale walls, she’d break your legs for sure-then you two could be a matching pair of cripples.

“You’re a girl, Rourou! You have to be reserved! Besides, given Gu Sheng’s condition, Mother would never let you marry him.”

Gu Sheng was once a renowned young talent, a gentleman of impeccable conduct, gentle and refined like warm jade.

His temperament, come to think of it, resembles my husband’s somewhat. But unfortunately, during the autumn hunt, while protecting the emperor, he was struck on the leg by a giant bear’s paw, shattering the bone. He’s suffered from a leg ailment ever since.

The emperor sent many imperial physicians, but the injury was too severe. He still can’t walk properly, spends all day in a wheelchair, and shuts himself away in his courtyard, unwilling to see anyone.

My sister fell for him during that autumn hunt. “How can someone so dashing and striking be wallowing in misery all the time? Just imagining him feeling sorry for himself truly pains my heart.”

Sigh… When he was perfectly fine, I never saw you give him a second glance. Now that he’s crippled, you’re suddenly interested. Do you have a thing for disabilities or something?

For someone caught up in infatuation, no amount of talk helps. This time I’d originally planned to see whether he was wearing the jade pendant Rourou gave him.

If he was, then it’s a mutual affection. If not, might as well make this silly girl give up.

Who’d have known Shen Wen would be in such a moody funk, as if he’d been hexed. He was in a bad temper himself, yet still meddled in my business.

“You two have been exchanging letters for so long. Why not invite him out to meet in person…”

Huairou grew bashful, waving her tiny fists and pounding my chest. “I just get all shy…”

Thump! One blow knocked me out cold.

Qin Huairou, I must have done something truly unlucky in eight lifetimes to end up as your big sister!

When I came to, it was already the next day. Outside the bed curtains, Mother was holding a rattan cane, giving Huairou an occasional swat. “You’re a brute, and your big sister is frail! I’ve told you a hundred times to be careful, but you just never remember!”

Huairou’s eyes brimmed with tears. “Mother, I was wrong. I won’t dare do it again. Please let me see her…”

Father stood by the door. “My lady, don’t be angry. Susu isn’t made of paper; the doctor said she’s fine.”

“What does this have to do with you!”

Father immediately shrank back behind the door, cowering like a quail.

I lifted myself up just in time. “Mother, don’t be angry. Getting worked up gives you pimples.”

She hurriedly tossed aside the cane and leaned over to the dressing table to check her reflection. Seeing she was still as beautiful as a flower, she finally relaxed.

Then she resumed her doting motherly demeanor. “Susu, from now on you have to keep two zhang away from her. This naughty girl simply can’t control her strength. Sigh… I don’t even expect her to marry anymore. What if she accidentally beats a son-in-law half to death? That would mean trouble with the magistrate…”

Right. Even a playful little punch from her left me bedridden. If it were Gu Sheng… that man already has a leg injury-another punch could send him to meet the King of Hell. Wouldn’t that be making an enemy instead of a son-in-law?

Huairou was utterly shocked, her almond-shaped eyes widening a circle. Then she burst out sobbing.

Not long after they left, Huairou slipped back in through the window. She didn’t say a word, just sat by my bed and kept crying.

Her crying gave me a headache. “Can’t you practice controlling your strength? Real masters can let loose or hold back as they please.”

“I… I just forgot for a moment…”

Heavens above, look what you’ve done! You gave her unmatched martial prowess, but didn’t give her a decent brain.

What can I do? Silly as she is, she’s still my own sister, so I have to spoil her.

“Fine. You’ll spend two months practicing embroidery to cultivate patience. Once you can finish a proper embroidery piece, I figure you’ll be able to control yourself.”

Her face at the mention of embroidery was more horrified than if she were being beaten.

Huairou, oh Huairou. Why were you given that name? You should be called Zhigang-Strong and Tough.