This Fox Has No Idea How to Be Sweet - Chapter 1

Furious, the fox summoned his servant for questioning.

“Where is my wife?”

“My lord, Her Ladyship went down the mountain early this morning.”

“Down the mountain? Whatever for?”

“She said… she had a shipment to escort.”

“What?!”

“A ship—”

“I heard you!”

“…”

He had heard. In fact, he had nearly passed out!

They were newlyweds! Newlyweds! And in that woman’s eyes, he mattered less than a cartload of cargo?!

The more he thought about it, the angrier he became. His nine white tails would no longer stay tucked away. They shot up and spread into a fan, like a peacock displaying its feathers. Gauze curtains flew, lamps lurched, and candles went out. Red dates, peanuts, longans, and lotus seeds went pattering across the floor.

The servant was so frightened that he turned back into a fox too.

With a fox’s head now on his shoulders, he dropped to his knees. His voice shook. “If you’re displeased, my lord, I—I can abduct another wife for you! There are so many human women. Why must it be Zhao Mingyue? If she won’t appreciate what she’s been given—”

A gust of enchanted wind swept the little fox out before he could finish.

“Who gave you permission to call my wife by her name?!”

The little fox immediately fell to his knees again and knocked his head against the ground. “Forgive me, my lord!”

Xuansheng was not done. “And another thing. I married my wife with every proper formality. What do you mean, abducted?”

“Well…”

Heaven was his witness. Abducted was exactly the word!

“Get out.”

“Yes, my lord.”

“Stop.”

“…”

“Did my wife say when she would be back?” Xuansheng asked.

“She did, my lord. Her Ladyship said she was going to Yangzhou. Seven days at the least, half a month at the most.”

Oh. Yangzhou.

Never been there.

“Very well. You may go!” Xuansheng waved him away and began counting the days.

Four, five, six, seven…

Oh, that was so long!

Zhao Mingyue, you heartless woman!

No. He had to find a way to wreck that escort agency of hers, and fast.

To say that Xuansheng had abducted his wife, the escort captain, was not entirely unfair.

Thousands of years ago, humans and spirits had ended their war and signed a peace treaty. To keep spirits from wreaking havoc among humans, the two sides agreed that spirits could still rule their own mountains, but could no longer set foot in cities where humans lived. Unless…

Unless a spirit agreed to marry a human, consummate the marriage, and give the human half their cultivation as a gesture of goodwill.

Xuansheng had cultivated a human form on White Cloud Mountain. In his thousand years of cultivation, he had never thought of leaving, and he certainly could not bear to part with half his power.

Until, one after another, his fox friends took human wives and moved into the city.

“Xuansheng, do you know how lively the markets are in town?”

“Xuansheng, have you ever seen the lanterns at the Lantern Festival?”

“Xuansheng, have you tried candied fruit skewers? Sugar-coated fruit! The sugar shines just like ice crystals!”

…

The more the fox heard, the worse he felt. His vanity stung, he hastily ordered his servant, “Go. Find a human woman at once and bring her back to the mountain to be my wife!”

“But, my lord…” The servant looked troubled. “I—I’ve never married a human woman either. I can’t enter the city! Where am I supposed to find you a wife?”

Xuansheng did not care. He had given his orders. The servant could work out the details himself.

Helpless, the servant withdrew. He thought day and night, nearly tearing all the fur from his head, until at last he came up with a plan.

White Cloud Mountain stood near Suzhou. Rumor had it that the prefect’s daughter was as beautiful as an immortal. Every year, as the New Year approached, she left the city to offer sacrifices to Heaven at an altar. Her route took her right past White Cloud Mountain.

A thousand-year-old fox and a prefect’s daughter…

A match made in heaven!

The servant slapped his forehead. He would take some men and abduct the young lady.

That day, Xuansheng dressed early in a purple robe and a golden belt. Seated in state in the hall, he waited for good news.

Around noon—

“M-my lord! Something terrible has happened!” The servant clutched the left side of his face, which had been beaten crooked. He was a bedraggled mess. “That… that woman… the escort captain…”

The escort captain?

As it turned out, the young lady had hired an escort captain to protect her all the way to the altar. The fox soldiers had tried to abduct her, only for the captain to thrash them soundly.

Enraged, Xuansheng hurried after his servant to see the fight for himself.