Winning the Laurel - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After Zhao Linyuan ascended the throne as the new emperor, he purged the court officials. The Chancellor, who had been loyal to my Imperial Father, smashed his head against a pillar in the great hall and died. That madman hung his corpse on the city gate and exterminated his entire clan. A righteous official who had spent his life worrying over the common people had met such an end.

Zhao Linyuan understood human nature better than anyone, and he was best at finding people’s weaknesses.

Those who feared death treasured their lives. Those greedy for wealth and lust cared about profit. And even the most loyal, unyielding ministers would hesitate when the lives of their entire families were at stake.

He threatened me with my parents, and threatened my parents with me.

The weaknesses of man amounted to nothing more than these: life, loved ones, reputation, and money.

He sent two young maids from his former residence to stay with me. He said they were there to keep me company and relieve my boredom, but in truth, they were there to monitor my every move.

The two maids were named Qingyin and Qinghong. Both were around thirteen or fourteen, small in stature, their faces still childish. Their eyes were always timid, as though I were some great demon.

How laughable. They were not afraid of that traitor who slaughtered people like weeds, yet they feared me, a fallen princess with neither power nor title.

“Look up at me.” I lay on my side on the chaise longue as Qingyin knelt beside me, staining my fingernails a bright red with balsam dye. Her hands would not stop trembling.

She stiffly raised her head. In her eyes were fear and an inexplicable hatred. She pressed her lips together, then let out a faint breath. “What does Your Highness require?”

“Are you very afraid of me?” Perhaps my uncle was so terrifying that she assumed I was the same sort of lunatic as him.

She shook her head. Her voice was a little louder than before, as if she were trying to bolster her own courage. “This servant is not afraid.” She was obviously lying. A fine sheen of sweat had already appeared on her forehead. I withdrew my hand. She had done a good job; not a single stroke was smudged.

“Then do you hate me?” I smiled at her. The more I smiled, the deeper that strange emotion in her eyes became.

“Spare me, Your Highness! This servant would never dare! This servant absolutely has no such intention!”

“Then tell me properly what you’re hiding. What you’re afraid of, or who you’re afraid of. Why you hate me, and for what reason. I don’t like people keeping things from me.”

Qinghong seemed younger than her. She had already dropped to her knees, trembling violently. I had no desire to frighten the two of them, nor did I wish to make things difficult for them. I simply did not want to bear an undeserved infamy for no reason, nor did I want to be inexplicably loathed and resented.

More than that, in a situation as precarious as this, even dealing with Zhao Linyuan’s shifting moods already took all my strength. If I had to guard against the people at my side every day in the future, I would not have the energy for it.

“Your Highness has misunderstood.” She was still stubbornly refusing to admit it.

“You won’t speak? You know who my uncle is. You can wait for him to come and question you.” If I could not get the answer out of her, someone else certainly could.

In the end, that lunatic Zhao Linyuan was still intimidating enough. She glanced at Qinghong unconsciously, then finally opened her mouth. “Your Highness, do you… do you still remember an old woman? She… offended you, and was chopped into mincemeat.”

My brows drew together. The old woman from the day of the palace coup a few days ago-I had found her very familiar, but I could not remember who she was.

“She was our foster mother. More than that… more than that, she was His Majesty’s wet nurse. All these years, the three of us-mother and daughters-believed ourselves utterly loyal to the Emperor. But I never imagined that my mother’s end… would be so wretched!” At this point, tears poured down her face. Qinghong was sobbing so hard she could not speak. Qingyin’s reddened eyes looked at me, and my heart gave a dull ache. I did not dare meet her gaze.

“She was chopped into mincemeat! Mincemeat!” Her eyes seemed to hold open flame, burning me. Perhaps she knew her gaze was too sharp, for she lowered her eyes, pressed down a thousand layers of hatred, and gave a soft laugh. “This servant does not hate you. I can only blame my old mother for relying on her status as a wet nurse and committing an overstepping offense. She angered her masters. Even if she died, even if she was chopped into mincemeat, she brought it upon herself.”

I did not kill Boren, yet Boren died because of me.

I silently rose to my feet. She lifted her eyelids slightly, her voice trembling. “I only beg Your Highness… to spare my younger sister.”

I patted her shoulder and walked past her. She thought I was going to report her and had already steeled herself for death. I had no intention of reporting her, nor was I angry.

What difference was there between her and me? We were both nothing more than fish on the chopping block. She begged me-but whom could I beg?

I looked out the window at the scenery beyond, unchanged as ever. My Imperial Mother had loved lilacs most. This had originally been my Imperial Father’s sleeping palace, and the area around it had been planted full of lilacs, all to win my mother’s favor.

I called it unchanged, but those lilacs were nearly withered now.

“Qingyin, hate me if you must.” I could no longer bear to look at those flowers on the verge of decay, so I turned to the young girl kneeling on the ground, her back still straight.

Tears filled my eyes, and I gave a desolate smile. “I will die a little sooner.”

That way, your grief and resentment may be eased.

She and Qinghong remained silent, tacitly accepting my words.

Zhao Linyuan returned that night. He had changed out of his dragon robe and into the white clothes he had once loved most. When he arrived, I was sitting in the pitch-black great hall, waiting for him.

He saw that I had done it deliberately, but he did not light the lamps. By the moonlight, he could see me, and I could see him.

“Uncle, let’s make a deal.”

I tightened my grip on the dagger in my hand. I had begged Qingyin on my knees for it. She had hatred in her heart too, and even knowing the risk that I might fail and expose her, she was still willing to gamble with her life.

Zhao Linyuan stood two feet away from me. The moonlight was like frost, its chill seeming to condense around him and sweep toward me.

His gaze fell on me, assessing what I intended. “What do you want to trade?”

“I am willing to stay by your side for the rest of my life. I only ask that you release my Imperial Father and Mother Empress.” My eyes reddened again, grief rising in me for no reason at all.

He let out a cold laugh, disdainful of making any bargain with me. “You were meant to stay by my side for the rest of your life. What does it matter whether you’re willing or not? As for your Imperial Father and Imperial Mother, as long as they know what’s good for them, I’ll spare their lives.”

“Fine. Then you can spend the rest of your life with a corpse.” He was right about one thing: everyone had a weakness. I could threaten him too-with myself.

I wore a wide-sleeved red gown, my black hair half pinned up, and smiled with bewitching grace. “Uncle, are you certain you can keep me trapped for the rest of my life?”

Sure enough, he took the bait. He strode up to me and pressed both hands down on my shoulders, forcing down his anger. “You really have grown up. You even know how to threaten your uncle now?”

He was close enough to touch, but with his hands pinning my shoulders, I feared I would not be able to kill him in a single strike. I could only suppress the urge to stab him and boldly meet his gaze. “You taught me.”

His grip tightened on my shoulders, as if he meant to crush me. “You learned well. But there is still one thing you haven’t mastered. The terms you’re offering are far too weak. Instead, they give me leverage over you. Do you believe I could summon your Imperial Father here right now and let him see how his precious daughter has been reduced to a prisoner?”

His tone was vile and frivolous. When had I ever suffered such humiliation? I kicked him in the knee and snapped in fury, “How dare you!”

Zhao Linyuan grunted in pain and shoved me down, like some despicable hyena lunging at its prey to devour it, yet still wanting to toy with it first. Maliciously, he bit at my neck. His breathing was ragged, and those clear eyes that should have been untouched by the dust of the mortal world were now clouded with filth. “Why wouldn’t I dare? Tell me. What is there that I wouldn’t dare do?”

Defying human bonds, flesh and blood locked in slaughter.

That was the prophecy the previous Imperial Tutor had given the Zhao Clan. When Imperial Grandfather heard it, he treated it like the approach of a great enemy and ordered the Imperial Tutor to read the faces of every prince, determined to find the one who harbored the Rebel Bone. Ever since I could remember, I had heard the other Imperial Uncles say that Zhao Linyuan was the bastard of the family born with the Rebel Bone. He was merely the son of a palace maid; even if he carried dragon blood, it was mixed with something filthy.

My Imperial Father never believed such things. On the contrary, he drew close to him. Seeing him bullied, he helped him many times and even asked him to look after me.

Unfortunately, he had been born with the Rebel Bone. He remembered hatred, not kindness.

Just like his wet nurse. I had met her before. After his mother passed, his wet nurse stayed by his side without ever abandoning him, caring for him with all her heart.

“Zhao Linyuan, my dear uncle, do you remember what you once said?”

He was not the only one who remembered the past. Those years belonged to both of us. He always felt that he alone was trapped in memory, but he had forgotten that I, too, was imprisoned by memories from those years that I could not ignore.

“What?”

“13th Year of Heiyao. Winter. A light snow. The birthday gift you gave me.”

The 13th Year of Heiyao. Winter. A light snow.

It was my fourteenth birthday. By then, he and I had already been estranged for a long time. I had apologized to him, but he ignored me as if he had become an entirely different person.

On my birthday, Imperial Father allowed me a few extra cups of wine. Everyone knew I was favored. Even my busiest Fourth Imperial Uncle had rushed back from Jiangnan and brought me Su brocade rarely seen in the north, along with many treasures. As everyone drank and toasted, I alone did not see him.

In that room full of members of the Zhao Clan, not a single person noticed that one was missing.

I excused myself, claiming I could not hold my liquor, dismissed the palace servants, and left. I truly had drunk quite a bit, and my cheeks were warm. Only when the cold snowflakes drifted onto my face did I feel somewhat refreshed.

Before me-right before me-was his residence, the most remote palace in the compound.

Yet I hesitated, unable to move forward. I was afraid he would shut me out again.

“Le Ning?” His voice sounded from behind me.

I turned back and saw him dressed in white purer than snow, holding a red umbrella. Fine flakes of snow fell upon the crimson paper canopy. Between red and white, he stood tall and graceful as jade. The young man was like polished jade, the most breathtaking touch of beauty between heaven and earth.

Hearing him call my name, perhaps because of the wine, my eyes reddened uselessly. Since childhood, I had relied on him most. No matter how willful I had been before, he had never ignored me for such a long, long time. When I truly knew I was wrong, he treated me like a stranger, as if we had become people on different roads.

“Uncle,” I called, my voice thick with tears.

I truly knew I was wrong.

His eyes darkened, but he still came to my side and tilted the umbrella over me, his voice icy. “Where are your attendants? It’s freezing, and you didn’t even wear more layers.”

Hearing him say that made me feel even more aggrieved. With tears in my eyes, I looked at him. “Uncle doesn’t want me anymore anyway. I might as well freeze to death.”

He only sighed softly, then raised a hand to brush the snow from my hair, as if reproaching me. “I really can’t win against you.”

I knew he had forgiven me. I could not help smiling through my tears, but the tears still fell. His brows drew together, and he wiped them away. “Why are you crying again when everything is fine?”

I did not dare bring up that matter again, so I changed the subject. “Uncle, today is my birthday, and you didn’t give me a present.”

“What do you want?” It seemed he truly had forgotten my birthday.

Last year on my birthday, I had waited for him, but he never came. If I had not come to find him this year, perhaps he would not have remembered either.

I looked earnestly into his unusually clear amber eyes and said, word by word, “Then promise me that whatever I do, you’ll stay with me. Whatever I do, you’ll agree to it.”

“…All right.”

In the 13th Year of Heiyao, in winter, he promised that whatever I did, he would stay with me, and whatever I did, he would agree to it.