Xiutu Meat - Chapter 3

This time, Father didn’t scold me or say anything about it. He simply wiped the blood off my hands, little by little.

He made me promise that, as long as he was alive, I would listen to him. I mustn’t kill people.

I always did what Father told me.

When I nodded, he picked up the arrow from the ground and stabbed the dead men a few times. This time, he said, he was the one who had killed them. It had nothing to do with me. If they came back as ghosts, they could come for him.

Then he told me, “Stay here and look after your brother and sister. I’ll go into the city and bring your mother out.”

The little ones were nodding off from hunger.

Father searched himself for ages. All he found was a length of dried cornstalk.

“If they get hungry, give them this to eat. When the sun’s right overhead, your mother and I will be back.”

I waited until the sun was overhead. No one came.

Ever since I’d pulled out that gu worm, my hearing had been very sharp.

I couldn’t hear Father’s footsteps in the distance. Nor could I sense him.

I was scared.

I couldn’t wait any longer.

I told my brother and sister to sit still and be good, chewing on that tasteless cornstalk.

Then I went back to Xiutu alone.

The first thing I saw when I arrived was Father, hanging high in the distance.

His tall body was almost folded in two, half its usual length. He was unconscious.

Soft, radiant clouds shone over the shrine in the center of the city. The music playing for Lady Ruyi hadn’t stopped.

The Immortal Lord was still here.

Mother was nowhere to be seen.

Mother never left Father’s side.

The old man next door saw me standing rigid, my face white. He clutched my clothes and frantically signaled for me to leave.

It turned out that when the Immortal Lord arrived today, Lady Ruyi had sulked and refused to see him. A fine line had appeared at the corner of her eye.

She had wept and told him that if she lost the looks he knew and loved, she would rather die.

She wanted to stay young forever.

That meant replacing her facial skin, piece by piece.

So wronged, so pitiful. She had clutched his robe and pressed her face against his leg, wheedling and begging.

The Immortal Lord had asked whose face she fancied.

Then that woman had smiled coyly through a faceful of wrinkles and pointed at my pregnant mother.

By then, I couldn’t stay still another moment.

“Where is my mother?” I asked the old man, each word distinct.

He closed his eyes and furtively pointed toward the tall pillars of the shrine.

Step by step, I walked toward the glittering shrine.

When a lackey blocked my way and shouted at me, I caught him by the neck and threw him aside.

Father had said not to kill people, so I let him live. I only broke all his bones and tendons and let him faint from the pain.

“Enough. Let her come.”

The two rows of people parted.

On the high seat sat Immortal Lord Lu Xiao, every inch the ethereal sage, his gaze full of pity and a little hazy with immortal wine. Lady Ruyi knelt demurely beside him, fawning on him. Her makeup was immaculate. Beneath lowered lids, she looked coldly at me as though I were already dead.

All I saw was Mother, sprawled on the floor.

Good. The skin on her face was still there.

…No.

I rushed to her. Her belly had gone flat. She had been six or seven months pregnant, but now her abdomen was sunken.

My pupils contracted.

Ruyi hadn’t wanted my starving mother’s sallow, emaciated face at all.

She had wanted the baby inside her.

Of course. Only the skin from an unborn baby’s face would be as soft and tender as freshly steamed egg custard. Just what that old thing wanted.

The blood on the floor, spilled when they cut out and skinned the baby, smelled delicious.

“You killed my little sister.”

Father had told me: a life for a life.

I crouched and reached for half a broken blade on the floor.

Lady Ruyi was furious. “How dare you slander him! The Immortal Lord has never killed anyone. It wasn’t even born. How can it count as a person?”

She scoffed. “It was just a lump of flesh. I only borrowed a little piece of skin from it. Tell her I’m right, my lord.”

A tear fell onto my hand. At some point, Mother had woken up.

She reached out, trembling, and caught my hand to stop me from taking the blade. Only then did I notice that all ten of her fingers were covered in blood.

She must have struggled to protect her baby.

Lu Xiao glanced at us and deigned to explain. “According to the Buddha, taking life means killing something after it has been born. An unhatched egg, for instance, is merely a vegetarian dish. It counts as neither one of the five pungent foods nor meat. This fetus had yet to develop awareness or form. It certainly does not constitute the taking of life.”

“Exactly. She can get pregnant again in two or three months.” Ruyi pouted. “My lord, look at her. She’s glaring at me. She’s so frightening.”

Lu Xiao patted the back of her hand. “You have governed Xiutu well these past ten years. Worship is flourishing. Consider this your reward. Just this once.”

He turned to me. “Enough. Stop making a scene. I will compensate you.”

I weighed the blade in my hand. “Compensate us how? With your life?”

Lu Xiao frowned. “Naturally, I will pardon your family’s insolence and ensure that next year’s income is enough to feed all of you, including the new child in her womb. Is that not sufficient?”

Ridiculous. They stole what should have been yours, then gave some of it back as a favor and expected you to fall over yourself with gratitude.

“Let her have twins next year,” Ruyi wheedled. “This side of my face needs touching up too. Of course, I’ll only take one of them. I’ll listen to my husband—no, my Immortal Lord. I’ll be a little kinder to them. Won’t that do?”

She smiled like a flower and held up a finger to show she would only take one, waiting for him to praise her.

Mother went rigid. She touched the belly they had cut open while she was still alive, gave a terrible smile, and suddenly released my blade hand.

“I was wrong. I shouldn’t have stopped you from going after her.”

The next instant, she surged up and smashed her head against the gold pillar beside her.

“Mother!”

I rushed to her, but I was too late.

Across the room, Lu Xiao blurted, “Ah… she chose to kill herself.”

Hot blood streamed from Mother’s forehead and soaked my palms.

The warmth seeped into my wounds and was swiftly absorbed.

My whole body burned. Wild, restless—as though a vicious tiger were struggling to break free.

I wanted… more blood.

The red cord holding my prayer beads snapped taut against my wrist. I wanted to kill.

Father wasn’t dead. I’d promised him. No killing people yet.

Then I would kill immortals.