A Thousand Intentions of a Bull and a Horse - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Nangong Siye licked his lips with a wicked, predatory air, his eyes flashing with a sharp, murderous intent. “Song Qianyi, you are something else. This Prince will remember you. Just you wait-I’ll make sure you’re tortured to death!”

I was taken aback.

“Second Prince, may I ask if I look like a latrine to you? It wasn’t even me who pushed you in. Why are you holding a grudge against me?”

Nangong Siye narrowed his dark eyes, about to snap back, “You-”

As everyone knows, being the Second Prince means there’s no shortage of people who want him dead.

So, in the next second, an assassin leaped out, his long sword pointing straight at Nangong Siye!

Seeing that the sword was about to pierce Nangong Siye’s heart, Song Tianruan didn’t hesitate to throw herself in front of him.

The sharp blade plunged into Song Tianruan’s chest.

The original text read: [A mouthful of blood sprayed from Song Tianruan’s mouth as she fell weakly into Nangong Siye’s arms.]

I curled my lips into a slight smile and activated the text-editing system.

I changed [a mouthful of blood] to [a mouthful of poop].

Song Tianruan, who had just blocked the sword, suddenly stiffened. With a loud “pfft,” a mouthful of poop sprayed from her mouth, coating the assassin’s face.

The assassin froze. The commoners froze. Even Nangong Siye froze.

A moment later, the assassin wiped the poop from his face and let out a piercing wail. “Help! Song Tianruan really is a Poop Demon!

“Song Tianruan sprayed a face full of poop on me! Even if I jumped into the Yellow River, I’d never be clean again! Argh! Master, your subordinate is no longer pure!”

This assassin was a death soldier who had undergone rigorous training since childhood.

For over a decade, he had endured hardships, beatings, and lashings. The only thing he had never endured was eating poop.

Having always prided himself on being the toughest man in the world, he suffered a total mental breakdown for the first time.

He frantically wiped his face with his sleeve, his features contorted into a grimace as if he were wearing a mask of pure agony.

Meanwhile, Nangong Siye’s hands trembled as he wiped the remaining stains from the corners of Song Tianruan’s mouth. “Ruanruan, you… could it be that you really are a Poop Demon?” he asked, his voice shaking.

Song Tianruan looked down at the wound on her chest, her lips trembling as she tried to speak.

However, the moment she opened her mouth, a foul stench wafted out, so pungent that even she felt like vomiting.

“Brother Siye, *blegh*… Ruanruan isn’t a Poop Demon, *blegh*…”

But the dozens of commoners present had all seen her spray a mouthful of poop from her mouth.

“Song Tianruan is definitely a Poop Demon! Normal people spit blood when they’re hurt, but she spits poop. She must be a Poop Demon!”

“Quick, catch this Poop Demon and take her to the magistrate!”

“Audacious Poop Demon! How dare you cause trouble in the Capital City and impersonate the Second Miss of the Song Family? Is there no law left?”

Seeing the commoners grabbing their hoes, ready to drag Song Tianruan to the authorities, I stepped in front of her.

With a look of utmost sincerity, I said, “Everyone, please calm down.

“Ruanruan just fell into the manure pit earlier and ate a bit too much, that’s all! When the assassin stabbed her in the stomach, the impact was so sudden that she accidentally sprayed out what was in her stomach. This doesn’t mean she’s a Poop Demon.”

After a moment of thought, I added, “At most, you can only say that Ruanruan ate her fill in the manure pit.”

There was far too much information packed into that statement.

The Second Miss of the Song Family, a noble lady of the Capital City, had actually gone to a manure pit to feast! Not only did she eat, but she ate until she was stuffed-so stuffed that she vomited it all out the moment she was provoked!

This was truly horrifying.

However, this explanation was a bit far-fetched. Anyone with a brain wouldn’t believe it.

“If Song Tianruan likes eating poop so much, why didn’t she have a maid put it on a plate for her to eat privately in her room? Why did she have to crawl into a manure pit?”

I scratched my head. “Maybe… Ruanruan prefers a buffet?”