A Thousand Intentions of a Bull and a Horse - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

By the time Nangong Siye and Song Tianruan were fished out, they were both on the verge of a mental breakdown.

Any trace of the handsome young noble and the delicate maiden had vanished. Their bodies were covered in a foul-smelling, yellowish sludge that dripped off them in thick, sluggish streams.

As for Song Tianruan’s little circle of friends, they had long since fled, clutching their mouths in disgust.

“Ah! Where did these Poop Demons come from?!”

I suddenly leaped out from my hiding spot, covering my nose and mouth with a handkerchief. I pointed at the two of them in feigned horror. “You bold, stinking Poop Demons! How dare you come into the Song Manor gardens to eat filth? Do you think I won’t find a Daoist priest to exorcise you?”

Song Tianruan wailed in grievance, “Eldest Sister, it’s me! I’m Ruanruan, Song Tianruan!”

My pupils dilated in shock, and I took a half-step back as if I couldn’t believe my ears. “What?! Song Tianruan is a Poop Demon? How can this be!”

“No, that’s not it! I’m not a Poop Demon!”

Song Tianruan tried to defend herself incoherently, but no amount of tears could wash the filth from her face.

The girl who was usually the picture of pity now looked absolutely terrifying at first glance.

Seeing his beloved crying so miserably, Nangong Siye could no longer restrain himself. He roared, “Song Qianyi, if you dare insult Ruanruan again, This Prince will kill you!”

I stomped my feet in a rage, pointing at the pair and barking orders through gritted teeth. “Bold Poop Demons! You dare threaten me? Do you even know who I am? Men, drag these two Poop Demons out of here!”

“Yes, Eldest Miss!”

A dozen servants armed with sticks chased Song Tianruan and Nangong Siye out of the Song Manor.

On the street, a commoner selling steamed buns sniffed the air. “What’s that smell?”

“It’s revolting. Who messed themselves?”

Just as everyone was frowning in disgust, the gates of the Song Manor swung open.

Two figures, completely covered in filth, were kicked out.

“You bold Poop Demon, how dare you claim to be Sister Ruanruan!

“And you, male demon! You dare to impersonate the Second Prince? Do you have any idea that such a crime is punishable by a thousand cuts?!”

Song Tianruan felt utterly humiliated. She covered her face and sobbed uncontrollably. “Sister Qianyi, it really is me. I really am Ruanruan, waah…”

Song Tianruan was a well-known delicate beauty in the Capital City.

Her voice was famously soft and sweet-so sweet it was almost cloying.

When the commoners heard that voice, they exchanged glances. “Wait… could that really be Song Tianruan?”

Someone threw a handkerchief to Song Tianruan. She hurriedly used it to wipe her face clean before doing the same for Nangong Siye.

She lifted her small, pale, palm-sized face, eyes brimming with tears as she bit her lip. “Now do you believe me? I’m not a Poop Demon, I really am the Second Miss of the Song family!”

Internally, I was dying of laughter.

By acting like this, wasn’t she just admitting to everyone that she had fallen into a latrine pit?

Even if she wasn’t actually a Poop Demon, the association was now stuck to her. Her reputation was officially down the toilet.