College Students Help Me Rule - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I am a useless emperor.

But I have a group of very capable ministers.

The Senior Grand Secretary fished me out of the Cold Palace, made me dress as a man to become the Emperor, and then used me as a puppet to command the lords.

The General holds the military tally. With a single command, he could level the palace and take my head.

As for Lord Nine Thousand, I was the one who overestimated myself and propped him up to deal with the other two.

In the end, once he seized power, he turned around and stripped me of all authority.

Those three “immortals” fighting at court only meant disaster for me.

Whenever the Chief Grand Secretary disagreed with someone, he would use me to threaten the various members of the Imperial Clan and the lords: “The Emperor is in my hands. You’d better behave.”

When the General couldn’t win an argument with the Chief Grand Secretary, he would use me to threaten him: “Your Emperor better sleep with one eye open tonight.”

And Lord Nine Thousand, participating in the political struggle, would threaten me: “If you don’t listen to me, you won’t live past tonight.”

They are my living ancestors, every single one of them.

Maybe I should just die right now and get it over with.

Until one day, during the morning court session, I realized everyone had changed.

The Chief Grand Secretary’s gaze had changed.

Before, his eyes were cold and indifferent, as if he had been killing fish in the Imperial Kitchen for thirty years without feeling a single emotion.

Now, they were clear and stupid.

The General’s gaze had changed too.

Before, he was wickedly charming and overbearing, carrying the arrogant aura of someone who could take down ten people with one punch.

Now, he was also clear and stupid.

Only Lord Nine Thousand was smiling.

He stood tall by my side, his feminine features carrying the confidence of someone who held all the cards. He spoke slowly, and the moment he opened his mouth, he was commanding the Chief Grand Secretary: “Start the roll call. See who didn’t show up for court.”

Roll call?

What kind of conspiracy are these living ancestors cooking up behind my back now?

Forget it. A mature emperor has already learned how to tidy up her own appearance and prepare her funeral arrangements for the inevitable end.

The Chief Grand Secretary began the roll call.

More and more ministers stood up and said, “Present.”

I suspected he was reading a list of those who supported his rebellion, and today was the day I would die.

My life has been like walking on thin ice; the great enterprise is not yet half-complete, and yet I am about to perish mid-way.

But when he finished the roll call, he reported to Lord Nine Thousand with the utmost respect: “Aside from the two on leave, everyone is present.”

Great, everyone is here. Now that everyone is here, they can start the coup.

I sat on the Dragon Throne, shaking like a leaf.

Lord Nine Thousand glanced at me and said warmly, “Don’t worry. From now on, no one will be able to rebel against you.”

I said, “Huh?”

I didn’t understand.

I spent the whole night in fear and trepidation. The next day, Lord Nine Thousand told me to attend court alone.

I sat on the Dragon Throne, silent as a tomb.

Without Lord Nine Thousand there, I couldn’t suppress the civil and military officials on my own. I could only listen to them whispering below.

“Is there a roll call for tomorrow’s court? If not, I’m not coming.”

“Can we get an internship certificate for attending court?”

“Has anyone ordered takeout from Juxian Pavilion? Is it good?”

Something seemed very wrong with the situation.

I cleared my throat a few times.

They fell silent and looked up at me in unison.

I felt like ants were crawling all over my skin. I forced myself to say, “Beloved Ministers, if you have matters to discuss, present them now; otherwise, court is adjourned.”

The ministers below exchanged looks.

The Vice Minister of Personnel stepped forward, looking radiant. “Your Majesty, this official has a petition.”

I nodded, signaling him to speak.

Instead, he gave me a flirtatious wink. “Your Majesty, can we wear lit-tle leath-er shoes to court?”

I could only stare at him in stunned silence.

The Minister of Revenue muttered under his breath, “What a scheming bottom.”

I shouted “Adjourn!” and fled the scene.

Between going to court and going for self-improvement, I choose going to hang myself.