Dare Not Speak Aloud - Chapter 3

Changle Palace was bustling.

The Empress Dowager sat at the head of the hall, several young ladies from noble families standing beside her.

When they lowered their eyes and bowed in greeting, their skirts spread across the floor like a pool of spring water.

I glanced in from the entrance to the hall, an indescribable bitterness in my heart.

The young emperor ought to have someone like that by his side.

My feelings had always been one-sided.

When the Empress Dowager saw me, she looked startled. “Changling?”

I was about to pay my respects when a cool voice suddenly sounded from behind the screen.

“Imperial Uncle has arrived at just the right time.”

I raised my eyes.

Xiao Huaijing emerged from behind the screen.

He was not wearing court robes today, only a moon-white everyday robe with a jade belt at his waist.

The belt made his waist look exceptionally slender and his face exceptionally pale.

He was almost excessively beautiful.

I looked only once before hastily averting my gaze. “This subject greets Your Majesty.”

Xiao Huaijing sat down beside the Empress Dowager.

Looking at me, the corner of his lips lifted slightly. “What brings Imperial Uncle here? Have you come to choose a consort for Us?”

I bowed my head. “This subject would not dare.”

The curve of his lips deepened. “Then you have come to decide whether We may take a consort at all?”

None of the young ladies in the hall dared raise her head.

I swept my robe aside and knelt.

The Empress Dowager’s brow twitched. “Changling?”

I bent forward and touched my forehead to the floor. “This subject has come today to ask the Empress Dowager to decide a matter on his behalf.”

Xiao Huaijing froze for a moment. His voice abruptly held a trace of bewilderment. “What matter?”

“This subject also wishes to request a marriage.”

The hall fell silent.

“This subject is no longer young and suffers from old wounds. I wish to lay down my armor and retire.”

I paused. I wanted to look up and see the expression of the person above me.

—Perhaps the young emperor would be reluctant to part with me.

Even if only because I had accompanied him for so long.

But in the end, I merely bowed my head lower.

“This subject will marry a quiet, dutiful wife. From then on, I will remain far from the capital and never disturb Your Majesty’s rule.”

The Empress Dowager’s teacup stopped in midair.

Several young ladies stole glances at me, then quickly lowered their heads again.

I could feel Xiao Huaijing’s searching gaze upon me.

But only after a long time did he laugh softly.

“Imperial Uncle… intends to marry?”

“I ask Your Majesty to grant permission.”

“When Imperial Uncle says that, do you already have a woman in your heart, or are you merely saying it to fob me off?”

“Gu Mingtang of the Gu family of Jiangnan.”

Xiao Huaijing laughed in anger.

Leaning back in his chair, he picked up the stack of name cards from the Empress Dowager’s table.

Those cards had originally been prepared for him to choose a consort.

He flipped through them one by one, finally stopping at Gu Mingtang’s.

“Gu Mingtang.”

He pronounced the name very slowly.

“A native of Jiangnan. Skilled at the zither. Gentle by nature. Her family holds no real power.”

“Miss Gu is an excellent woman.”

“Of course she is.”

As if venting his rage, the young emperor flung the card back onto the table.

“So excellent that the old tree that is Imperial Uncle has suddenly burst into bloom and remembered he ought to marry.”

The Empress Dowager gave a light cough. “Huaijing.”

Xiao Huaijing did not look at her. His eyes remained fixed on me.

“Imperial Uncle rejected so many families before. We thought you had renounced all worldly desires and meant to enter a temple to become a bodhisattva.”

His words were indeed cutting.

Yet looking at him like this, I found him adorable.

He was like a little cat whose tail had been stepped on.

Enraged, the cat had extended its claws, yet all that landed on you was a soft pink paw pad that could not hurt even when it tried to scratch.

It only made one want to pinch the scruff of its neck.

Naturally, I could not do that.

I lowered my head to hide my smile. “Your Majesty is jesting.”

Xiao Huaijing narrowed his eyes.

“Imperial Uncle is still smiling?”

I immediately schooled my expression. “This subject was not.”

“You were.”

I had no choice but to say, “This subject acknowledges his guilt.”

His face darkened again.

Apparently, I could not say that either.

I always seemed to make him unhappy.

The Empress Dowager glanced at me, looking as though she could not decide whether to sigh or laugh.

“Changling is a fine young man himself. If he wishes to marry, naturally no one else need worry on his behalf.”

Xiao Huaijing’s fingers tightened at once.

“A fine young man?”

He sounded as if he had heard something absurd.

He said coldly, “He is covered in old wounds, coughs blood at night, and his shoulder aches if he rides too long. He even fears the bitterness of medicine. Can Gu Mingtang take proper care of him?”

I stared for a moment. I had not known the young emperor remembered all of that so clearly.

The Empress Dowager slowly sipped her tea.

“To remember so clearly, it seems Your Majesty cares deeply for Changling.”

Xiao Huaijing went still.

For an instant, his expression looked unnatural.

Then he quickly said in a cold voice, “We merely fear he will die on his wedding night and the Gu family will come wailing at the palace gates.”

I coughed lightly.

Those words were truly unbecoming of an emperor.

I reminded him, “Your Majesty.”

Xiao Huaijing looked at me.

“Are We forbidden to say it?”

“This subject’s health is not quite that poor.”

His smile grew colder.

“Then Imperial Uncle is truly formidable.”

I did not dare respond again.

I did not know how I had provoked this little cat into baring his sharp claws at me in warning.

That, too, was good. An emperor should not allow others to read his preferences too easily.

The Empress Dowager picked up Gu Mingtang’s name card and asked me, “Do you truly wish to marry her?”

“Yes.”

Xiao Huaijing surged to his feet.

The legs of his chair scraped loudly across the floor.

He stared at me for so long that I almost thought he would reject the marriage on the spot.

But he did not.

He merely turned and walked out.

At the entrance to the hall, he stopped.

“Xie Changling.”

“This subject is here.”

Without looking back, he said, “You had better succeed in marrying her.”