Easy to Take In a Snake, Hard to Send Him Away - Chapter 1

The company had gone bankrupt.

With no other choice, the boss had to use company equipment to pay our wages.

And of all days, I was late that morning.

By the time I arrived, the only thing left was the boss’s pet black kingsnake.

The boss was a real oddball, come to think of it.

Other people kept goldfish or grew money trees.

He could have worshipped Lord Guan if all else failed, and at least I would have credited him for trying.

But no. He enshrined a hibernating snake.

Every day, he would bow before it.

And mutter as he bowed,

“Bro, please, you have to bless me with a fortune.”

Frankly, the moment he entrusted the matter to a snake, he clearly had no intention of working seriously at it himself.

To no one’s surprise, poor management soon drove the company under, leaving it unable even to pay its employees.

And now, in that vast office, only the snake and I remained.

Gritting my teeth, I took it home.

The snake seemed extremely surprised when it woke up. It slithered back and forth inside its enclosure.

When my best friend heard I’d taken in a snake, she was astonished.

“Aren’t you pretty scared of those things?”

I was indeed a little afraid of snakes, all because of a dream I’d had as a child.

I dreamed that a snake ate my friend.

It had swallowed both their legs, leaving only the upper half of their body sticking out.

The dream had felt incredibly real.

And the snake in it happened to be black too.

Ever since then, I’d been a little afraid of snakes.

But I was all grown up now.

And I had discovered that poverty was a little more terrifying.

“It’s fine,” I said. “I’m not keeping it. I’ll sell it after a while.

“A specimen this nice should be worth quite a bit.”

At the mention of selling it,

the snake slapped its tail angrily.

My best friend fell silent for a moment on the other end of the call.

“The prices of basically every snake in the reptile hobby have dropped over the last couple of years. It’s probably not worth as much as you think.”

I froze, then searched on my phone.

My spirits plummeted right alongside the price.

On my salary, I could afford twenty snakes like this one.

Speechless, I said, “Then why did my boss worship it every day like some priceless treasure?”

My best friend had a sudden revelation. “You didn’t bring home his household guardian spirit, did you?”

Folklore spoke of five household guardian immortals—the Fox, Weasel, Hedgehog, Snake, and Rat—and the Snake Immortal was, of course, a snake.

Then there was my former boss and the mystical nonsense he was always spouting.

Exasperated by his failure to live up to expectations, I said, “Feudal superstition. This is feudal superstition!

“If someone like that doesn’t go bankrupt, who will?”

“So what are you going to do with the snake?” my best friend asked.

I glanced to the side and happened to meet its eyes.

It stared back: (ㅇㅅㅇ)?

Seen up close, it was actually rather different from what I had imagined.

A little dopey. A little cute.

In a moment of madness, I said, “Forget it. I’ll keep it.”

As for money…

It was fine. I still had savings.

And if I truly couldn’t make ends meet, a kind middle-aged couple would provide for me.

Since I’d decided to keep it, I had to take responsibility.

I was as new as a beginner could get, so naturally I needed to look up some information.

Fortunately, I met an extraordinarily patient person online.

Me: [Do you keep snakes too?]

A little while later, he sent me a photo of a small black snake.

Surprised, I replied, [It looks so much like our Xiaohei.]

Then again, they were both snakes. They probably all looked fairly similar.

Him: [Yours is probably a little better-looking.]

He told me every last detail about keeping snakes.

That included the temperatures for the warm and cool zones, what kind of substrate to use, and what style of hide to buy.

Once everything arrived, Xiaohei loved it, just as he’d predicted.

For some reason, though, my kind online friend only ever appeared during office hours.

The instant the workday ended, he stopped replying.

My best friend consoled me. “You don’t get it. That’s the mark of a quality slacking-at-work buddy.

“They pop up of their own accord during office hours and talk about everything from life’s great ambitions to international affairs.

“Then vanish right on schedule after work. That’s the Cinderella of the twenty-first century.”

I nodded silently. So that was how it worked.

Following my online friend’s advice, I kept Xiaohei for a while.

I’d always been lucky growing up.

Snake keeping proved no exception.

I seemed to have found myself a treasure of a snake.

He was friendly, gentle, and remarkably intelligent.

Not only did he never bite, he let me pet and handle him too.

At first, I didn’t dare touch him. I would cautiously reach inside, terrified he might bite me.

Instead, he lifted his head of his own accord and placed it in my palm.

He liked having his chin and head stroked. Only his tail was particularly sensitive.

The tip of Xiaohei’s tail was tender and soft, and felt wonderful to the touch.

When he coiled around my hand, he even hooked it around my finger.

Wasn’t that blatant seduction?

Yet every time I reached out to give it a little pinch or touch,

the tip of his tail would tremble softly.

But he never pulled away at once.

Instead, he would wriggle about as though he had other business to attend to, slowly slither off, and withdraw his tail.

If I didn’t take him out, he would watch me quietly from inside the enclosure.

He was unbearably cute.

There was only one problem I didn’t know how to handle.

No matter what I tried, Xiaohei refused to eat.

I had gone out of my way to buy sterile frozen pinky mice.

But he remained fiercely resistant.

I tried everything—using tweezers to move the food around and mimic a hunt, cutting it open, and more.

That only horrified him further.

He coiled himself into a black turd, tucked his head beneath his body, and slapped his tail angrily.

I asked my kind online friend what I should do.

Kind Online Friend: [How am I supposed to eat it raw?]