Easy to Take In a Snake, Hard to Send Him Away - Chapter 2

The message was recalled the next second.

Him: [Snakes are different from cats and dogs. It’s perfectly normal for them to go without food for days or even months, so don’t worry.]

He had probably sent the previous message by mistake.

My best friend was a little tempted after hearing my usual descriptions.

“That sounds amazing. What a perfect pet.

“Most importantly, it’ll only be affectionate with you. That really satisfies the human desire for exclusivity.

“Because most other people won’t dare touch it.”

She wanted one but couldn’t make up her mind.

“Why don’t you come to an exotic-pet café with me this weekend?”

I readily agreed.

At the café, we saw many other species of snake.

Every single one of them was extremely docile.

One employee looked surprised. “Why is everyone so well behaved today?”

In the end, my best friend still couldn’t get comfortable with snakes, so she gave up on the idea.

When I got home, Xiaohei watched me from inside his enclosure.

I walked past him to put down my bag.

He slithered from one end of the enclosure to the other and continued staring.

His head tilted slightly, as if to say,

No cuddles today?

I reached inside. Xiaohei pressed his snout into my palm and flicked his tongue gently against it.

I knew perfectly well that this was how he smelled things, yet one thought still came to mind.

Just like a puppy.

Adorable.

But the next second, who knew what scent Xiaohei had picked up?

He shot up my wrist and wrapped himself tightly around my forearm.

I froze.

What did this mean?

Why was he instantly constricting me to death?

I messaged my kind online friend first, but he didn’t reply.

Did you seriously never look at your phone outside working hours?

I had no choice but to make a post asking for help.

The replies came quickly.

[It’s normal. Frankly, snakes are morons who want a taste of everything, especially kingsnakes.]

[Youth is priceless; my mom melts in your mouth.]

[Don’t worry. It isn’t venomous. Rinse it with water and it’ll let go.]

[Did you touch other snakes and forget to wash your hands? Kingsnakes eat other snakes. It may have smelled them on you and wanted a bite.]

So that was it.

But he was only wrapped around me. He hadn’t bitten me.

I didn’t give it much thought. I filmed a video and uploaded it, then went to run some water over him.

Sure enough, Xiaohei released me.

When I came back, I found new replies.

[Ooh, that’s kind of… you know.]

[That doesn’t look like constriction. Hiss… oh. It’s… oh my.]

[Wow, your baby’s kink crosses species lines.]

[Mommy is Mommy. Mommy isn’t allowed to become the wife…]

That night, I dreamed Xiaohei had grown huge.

He wasn’t Little Black anymore. He was Big Black!

I eagerly reached out and stroked his equally enlarged tail over and over.

All the while, I chanted,

“From afar, a big fat snake. Up close, the fat snake’s big.

“The fat snake really is so big. What a big fat snake.”

The next second, the black tail curled around my waist.

Was Dahei going to eat me?

Terrified, I squeezed my eyes shut.

But then, to my surprise, he spoke in a human voice.

“You’re actually terrible at handling snakes.”

I was instantly filled with guilt. “Really? Did I hurt you?”

Him: “It was fine, but other snakes wouldn’t like it.”

Then a hint of grievance entered his voice. “So can’t you keep only me?”

When I woke up, the first thing I did was check the enclosure.

Xiaohei was still there.

It seemed last night really had been nothing more than a dream.

I told my best friend about it.

Best Friend: [The dream is probably hinting at something.]

Hinting?

I searched for the meaning of dreaming about snakes.

Dreaming of a giant snake meant I was pregnant with a boy?

Dreaming of killing a giant snake foretold that I wanted to rebel?

The former was a little more frightening.

I sent the search results to my best friend.

[Things having come to this, why don’t the two of us storm the office and seize the boss’s throne?]

Remembering what Dahei had done to me in the dream, I also looked up a snake coiling around one’s waist.

Me: [What do you mean “a snake around the waist” is shingles? It’s over, Boss. I’m about to come down with an illness worth at least three thousand yuan.]

My best friend was utterly speechless. She sent me a picture.

[Detective: At around nine last night, your coworker Miyuki was murdered.

Murderer: I poisoned her.

Detective: Oh, how strange! I never said Miyuki was poisoned.]

Her: [I spoon-fed the answer to you and you still managed to spit it out.

[Is it possible—and I’m only saying possible—that your Xiaohei was hinting! at! you!

[He was jealous and doesn’t want you to keep any other snakes?]

I turned toward the enclosure. Xiaohei had buried his whole body beneath the substrate as if to say,

You can’t see me, you can’t see me…

Yet he still couldn’t resist poking out his head for a furtive look at me.

I laughed and picked him up.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “You’re a good little snake. I won’t keep any others. You’ll be my only one.”

With that, I gave him a light kiss on the head.

The kiss squished his head flat, making it look wonderfully soft and springy.

Xiaohei flicked his tongue in a daze. The next second, he went limp and woozily collapsed.