One Hundred Ways to Knock Down the Doctor - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After changing my shoes, I called my best friend, Wang Xiaoxiao.

“I think I’ve just gone through a breakup.”

There was an eerie silence on the other end for a long moment before she asked, with polite restraint, “Excuse me, but when exactly were you in a relationship?”

I answered with total conviction.

“Five minutes ago, in the elevator. I fell in love at first sight with the owner of a very handsome hand.”

The only response was the dial tone as she hung up on me.

Half an hour later, Wang Xiaoxiao arrived, clutching a pack of beer and aggressively ringing my doorbell.

“First of all, that’s not a breakup. That’s you unilaterally fantasizing about a man and then mentally assaulting him. The only reason he didn’t punch you is because he has good manners.”

“Second, pics or it didn’t happen. You said he’s drop-dead gorgeous, so where’s the photo?”

I suspected the second point was the real reason she’d ditched her ‘puppy’ boyfriend to rush over here. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a photo.

At the hospital, he’d been wearing a mask the whole time. In the elevator, I’d only caught a fleeting glimpse before I effectively ended any chance of a romantic encounter with my future husband using two skewers of grilled kidneys and three of chives.

Spring is the season for love.

Yet my room was currently filled with the sour, pathetic stench of a heartbreak that had died before it even began.

Between me and my doctor cutie stood a thin wall, yet it felt like we were worlds apart.

Wang Xiaoxiao munched on a skewer, transforming into a relationship guru as she helped me break down the facts point by point.

“How long have you lived here?”

“A year.”

“It’s been a year and you’ve never run into your neighbor?”

“I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Have you seen any females coming or going next door?”

“I don’t know.”

“What does he do for a living?”

“He’s an OB-GYN. I just had an appointment with him today.”

Wang Xiaoxiao looked at me, exasperated by my incompetence.

“Did you get his WeChat?”

I shook my head honestly.

She refused to give up. “What about his phone number?”

I continued to shake my head.

She persisted. “Surely you grabbed a business card?”

I wanted to die of shame as I shook my head for the nth time.

Wang Xiaoxiao looked at the ceiling and let out a long, frustrated groan, expressing her heartfelt contempt for me.

“I’ve dated countless men. How could I have a friend as stupid as you?”

I took a humble stance, eagerly asking for her secret techniques on how to land a man.

Wang Xiaoxiao smacked me over the head with a pillow.

“Tomorrow morning at six-no, five. You get up at five and stake out the stairwell. You stay there until you figure out exactly what time he leaves for work.”

I tried to show some initiative. “Should I go stake out the stairwell right now?”

Wang Xiaoxiao rolled her eyes. “And get yourself invited to the property management office for a nice chat about your suspicious behavior? Gu Xiaoqiu, use your brain for once.”

Wang Xiaoxiao grabbed my laptop and started typing away, creating a detailed, tailor-made plan for me to chase my dream guy.

She even projected the ‘Operation: Get Hitched’ plan onto the wall.

She listed points one, two, and three: what I needed to do at specific times, what useful information I needed to gather, and how to categorize that data to draft the next phase of the plan.

I listened intently, memorizing every word, and set eight alarms on my phone to ensure the mission’s success.

After finishing my last skewer, Wang Xiaoxiao rushed off again, claiming she had to go soothe her ‘puppy’ back at home.

I bowed and scraped as I saw her to the elevator. But just as I turned around, a sudden draft swept through the hallway. My heavy security door slammed shut right in front of my eyes with a heartless thud.

And there I stood, in the chilly early spring air of the stairwell-no keys, no phone, and going commando.

My entire inventory consisted of exactly one pair of pink rabbit coral fleece pajamas and my teddy bear throw pillow.

Clutching my little pillow, I crouched by my front door, struggling with the agonizing choice between humiliating myself at the property management office or sleeping in the stairwell for the night.