Salted Fish and the Sword - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

During the sword-recognition ceremony, I pricked my finger a bit too hard, and my blood splattered onto someone else’s sword.

The massive sword erupted with a blinding white light that blotted out the sun.

That was the sign of a Divine Sword successfully recognizing its master.

The poor sucker turned around and rushed toward me, his handsome face contorted. “Damn it, that’s my Lifebound Sword!”

Only then did I realize he was the male protagonist of this cultivation novel, Shen Cunyu.

The sword was an Ancient Divine Sword named Soulguard.

How was this any different from accidentally writing your own name on the class genius’s exam paper?!

I immediately slid into a kowtow to return the sword.

“Big brother, here, take it back!”

But the damn sword burrowed into my arms and spoke in a calm voice.

“My Wife, you are very soft, very warm, and very fragrant.”

???

As expected of a Divine Sword, it even came with a talking Sword Spirit.

Shen Cunyu’s face went pale, unable to accept this reality.

Blood suddenly spurted from his fingertip and splashed onto a Little Broken Sword on the ground.

The sword trembled and gave off a faint, pathetic glow.

The Little Broken Sword had successfully recognized its master!

At the sight of it, his face turned even whiter.

I trembled as I watched the male protagonist, decked out in max-level gear, bind himself to my nine-dollar-ninety Little Iron Sword.

Meanwhile, I was dressed in rags but bound to an Ancient Divine Sword.

Master said that once a Lifebound Sword is bound, the bond can only be severed if one party dies.

Shen Cunyu raised his hand, looking like he was about to poke me to death.

I dodged pathetically, wanting to drop to my knees and beg for mercy.

The Divine Sword immediately propped up my knees and gave the male protagonist a vicious slap.

“How dare you! To be so rude to My Wife! Wang Taigu, is this how your disciple behaves?

“Perhaps I should just chop off his hand.”

Master knelt down, trembling.

“Please, calm your anger. I will discipline this rebellious disciple properly.”

I was shocked. What was the deal with this sword that even Master would bow to it?

As a total slacker, I felt even more uneasy.

I just wanted to live a normal life, yet somehow I’d gotten involved with the main cast!

This is not good.

Master asked me what my plans were for the future and what great ideals I held.

“Is it to save all living beings, or to break through your cultivation and ascend to the Nine Heavens?

“I know! You must want to establish your own sect and become a new Sword Master, right?”

His eyes were shining with affection. I silently swallowed the words “Go back to my hometown to farm, raise chickens, and go fishing.”

To the side, Shen Cunyu couldn’t take it anymore.

His eyes were bloodshot. “That was supposed to be my dream!”

I immediately flattered him.

“It’s yours, it’s yours. No one’s taking it.”

But losing a Lifebound Sword is like eating fries without ketchup or instant noodles without the seasoning packet.

It’s like cultivation without an inner core.

Shen Cunyu wilted.

He drew his sword-the little one-held it to his own throat, and politely invited me to join him in slaying demons and exorcising evil.

As long as I called upon the Divine Sword at the right time and place to fight alongside him!

I thumped my chest and raised four fingers to swear an oath.

“Don’t worry, I had perfect attendance in school! You can trust me!”