The Adorkable Octopus's Rules for Love - Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Little Octopus flung its stubby little legs around and went splat-splat-splat off to the kitchen, volunteering to make dinner.

I sat down on the sofa with no small amount of hesitation and called Boss Fox.

“Hello. Sorry to bother you, but may I ask whether the health and dignity of the little yokai working at your company are guaranteed… and whether you provide social insurance and housing fund benefits…”

Boss Fox was extremely impatient, but still explained the compensation, job duties, and protections they could offer.

I was honestly a little jealous. In terms of labor protections, it had things better than a workhorse like me.

I was just about to ask whether their company accepted job-hoppers when a loud blast went off behind me.

Crack. Crash-

The kitchen… exploded.

I whipped around in horror, only to see a flood raging before my eyes.

Broken porcelain and vegetable leaves were swept everywhere by the wild torrent of water.

Amid the wreckage, Little Octopus, charred black from head to toe, staggered out holding a plate.

“It’s done! Try some… ji!”

Little Octopus stepped on a banana peel. Its tentacles slipped, and the plate went flying straight out.

And landed upside down on my head.

Drip.

Black oil gathered into thin streams and ran down my hair.

Standing in the middle of the ruins, I looked at Little Octopus’s innocent face and felt like the idiot who had just made that phone call for its sake.

“What’s the anti-fraud hotline for marine life?”

Probably realizing it had messed up, Little Octopus hugged its head and curled into a ball, turning itself into a takoyaki.

The funny part was that its tentacles were too short. Even with all its might, it could only cover half its head, leaving its big eyes forced outside, squinting and trembling.

I began my interrogation.

“Didn’t you say you were a Conch Octopus?

“Didn’t you say you were hardworking, brave, and good at everything?

“Didn’t you say you could turn into a super handsome guy and be my child husband?”

Little Octopus hugged its head and said nothing.

I pulled out the frying pan and salt from behind my back.

“Octopuses who love to lie have, since ancient times, been premium ingredients for teppanyaki.”

Little Octopus was so scared it lost all color, turning deathly pale.

“Not lying! I’m a Conch Boy… a Conch Octopus! I just came ashore, so I’m not used to it yet… Don’t eat me…

“Don’t eat me…”

Chapter 7

Its voice grew smaller and smaller. It shrank into a tiny white ball, and after a long silence, reached out a little claw toward the hem of my shirt.

“I’m sorry. Can… can I still live at your place?”

My face was stiff. I didn’t answer.

Little Octopus didn’t dare grab my hem. It shrank even smaller.

“Am I… an unwelcome Little Octopus?”

I picked up Little Octopus and shut it outside the door.

“What would a troublemaker like you live in my house for?”

At the time, I was furious at my own badly timed softheartedness.

A perfectly good apartment had been turned into a disaster zone by this thing, and on top of that, I was already exhausted from barely keeping myself afloat.

It took me the entire day to clean up the mess. Near dusk, I collapsed on the sofa, completely drained, and only then could I think about it calmly.

Little Octopus hadn’t done it on purpose. It had been scared too. I really had gone a bit too far.

I wanted to apologize to Little Octopus, but that night, it didn’t come back.

It didn’t come back the next day either.

Over the next three full days, I searched every fish stall in the city.

…Not a trace.

Night fell. I dragged my exhausted body into the elevator and stared blankly at the little ads pasted inside.

Wait.

The other man in the elevator… why had he been staring at me this whole time?

When we reached the twelfth floor, he followed me out of the elevator.