The Poor Swordsman with Only Trickery - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I was on the mountain, undergoing my Lightning Tribulation.

The heavenly lightning seemed to have a personal vendetta against me, striking down as if it cost nothing at all.

Fortunately, I had nothing on me except for a tattered school uniform covered in patch after patch.

After all, it was common knowledge that we Sword Cultivators were dirt poor.

Long before my breakthrough, I had stripped off everything of value and hidden it away.

The sky was thick with black clouds, filled with the roar of thunder and the flash of lightning.

Thirty-six strikes of lightning-not a single one missed, each aiming straight for the crown of my head.

My entire body was charred on the outside and tender on the inside, practically crispy and delicious.

As the thirty-fifth strike finished falling…

A line of text appeared before my eyes:

[As expected of the Heavenly Dao’s own daughter. While others are left battered and bruised by their Lightning Tribulation, her hem is merely a bit dusty.]

I slowly turned my gaze toward a female cultivator not far away, who was also undergoing her tribulation.

She wore a pink ritual robe, her features delicate and beautiful.

As a bolt of lightning no thicker than a strand of hair struck her, she bit her red lip softly, her eyes shimmering as if veiled in mist.

What a pitiable, delicate beauty.

I looked down at my own body, which was as black as charcoal.

If I told someone I’d been kidnapped and forced to dig for spirit stones in a dark mine, they’d probably believe me.

Heavenly Dao, do you have a problem?

Sensing that my internal cursing was getting a bit too foul, the Heavenly Dao reached its limit.

Amidst the heavy, dark clouds, a purple dragon coiled and tumbled; the final strike was gathering its power.

The last bolt was called the Heaven-Earth Tribulation.

If I could withstand this one, I would join the ranks of the Golden Core Realm.

The Heavenly Dao was petty; this bolt looked particularly terrifying.

If it truly struck me dead-on, the best-case scenario was losing my entire cultivation; the worst was having my soul scattered to the winds.

At the critical moment, I mobilized all my spiritual energy.

I scooped up the Female Lead and hoisted her onto my shoulders.

The lightning descended with unstoppable momentum, hurtling toward me.

But the moment it saw the Female Lead on top of my head, it took a sharp, forced turn.

The lightning missed.

I looked at the massive crater the lightning had blasted into the ground beside my feet and slowly raised my middle finger to the sky.

You play dirty, so I’ll play dirtier. Go ahead, strike me!

The lightning wanted to strike again, so I held the Female Lead high above my head.

It had no choice but to sputter out.

The Danmaku suddenly exploded:

[Using the Child of Fortune to block a Lightning Tribulation! Someone actually did it!]

[The Heavenly Dao can’t strike, but it can’t not strike either. It’s stuck!]

[Nod for yes, shake for no, use the Female Lead to block the lightning, go go go!]

[Hey, I have a great idea. What if I use Divine Possession during my tribulation?]

[Are you planning on living after you ascend?]

I lay on the ground. Beside me was the Female Lead, who had fainted from terror, and above me was the rapidly scrolling Danmaku.

It was a complete mess. Might as well enjoy the chaos while it’s hot.

Seeing me staring unblinkingly at the comments, the Danmaku users finally caught on.

[Fellow Cultivator, can you see us?]

I didn’t want to admit it.

I turned my head, saw the passed-out Female Lead, and fell silent.

How was I supposed to explain to the Hehuan Sect…

…that I used their Saintess as a lightning rod?

The Danmaku wouldn’t let me off and started offering suggestions:

[Buy some vinegar and pour it down her throat.]

I was confused. “Can vinegar be used as medicine?”

[It doesn’t do much, but it’s “shuan-shuan” (sour/thank you).]

Her eyes were closed; I couldn’t tell if she was asleep or dead.

Paying compensation was out of the question.

After all, I was truly poor.

I was already calculating in my head which posture would be the most dignified while receiving my punishment.

The Danmaku continued to stir up trouble:

[Rub some oil on your ears. That way, when your Master tries to twist them, his grip will slip.]

“…”

In the end, I chose to ditch the unconscious Female Lead and make a run for it.

Before leaving, I looked at the glittering dharma treasures all over her body.

I suppressed my itching palms.

Forget it. Consider it her payment for blocking the lightning for me!

The Danmaku praised me:

[Our Fellow Cultivator actually has morals!]

[If it were me, forget robbing her treasures-I’d turn the Female Lead’s corpse into a fierce zombie!]

The Female Lead was still lying on the ground. I turned my head away sharply, refusing to look back.

Compared to the Danmaku, I really did have a conscience.