Villains, Stop Acting Up—Your Master Says Come Home and Farm - Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The System cut out without warning.

All it left me was a body that would never age or die, but had no magical arts whatsoever.

Oh, and a tiny, nameless sect.

The sect was thriving.

It had a grand total of two members.

Me, and a little black cat.

I was the sect master, so naturally, it became the Deputy Sect Master.

In the first year after the System forgot about me,

I took the Deputy Sect Master down the mountain to beg for food.

We barely had enough to eat and nearly starved to death.

In the second year, we opened up the barren patch of land behind the mountain together.

With potatoes to fill our stomachs, we managed to stay alive.

In the third year, I picked up a cheap disciple.

The Yungui Sect was very close to us.

The Deputy Sect Master and I would occasionally go over there to scavenge things they didn’t want.

Scraps of metal, old padded jackets they had thrown away, that sort of thing.

That day, the Deputy Sect Master and I were carrying our loot back when we happened to run into the Yungui Sect throwing a child out.

They were shouting something like, “Heretic scum! You disgrace our sect! Get lost!”

The child looked about seven or eight.

He was filthy, his hair unbound and falling over his face, making it impossible to see his expression.

After the people from the Yungui Sect left,

the Deputy Sect Master went over, meowing, to meddle in other people’s business.

It licked the child’s palm.

The child lifted his head and looked at me.

He looked a little pitiful.

It reminded me of myself, begging for food down the mountain that first year.

If some passerby hadn’t tossed me a steamed bun back then, I probably would have starved to death.

What goes around comes around.

That kindness ought to be passed on.

So I crouched down and asked him,

“Child, I can see you have extraordinary bones. You’re clearly a natural at farming. How about you come back with me and become my first disciple?”

Chapter 2

My original name was Zhou Xi.

I was a kindergarten teacher.

In my fifth year on the job, I realized I couldn’t even support myself.

So I quit and went back to my hometown to farm.

Somehow, while I was farming, I got dragged into this world.

The System lost contact before it could explain a single thing.

It only managed to hurriedly mention that my role was a Cannon Fodder Master.

The kind who would one day be ground to dust by disciples she failed to keep under control.

Ground to dust?

That sounded just fine.

Better than living alone in this world.

So I picked up the child the Yungui Sect didn’t want and brought him back with me.

I named him Zhou Yi.

Zhou Yi didn’t like to talk.

I almost thought he was mute.

Until dinner, when I brought out the highest-level treatment our sect had to offer.

“Today we’re having roasted potatoes, braised potatoes, stir-fried potatoes, and red-braised potatoes.”

Zhou Yi’s expression finally shifted.

“Master, is there a potato disaster in the sect?”

He didn’t say it outright.

But in the middle of the night, I heard him get up and vomit.

The child was still growing.

He couldn’t just eat potatoes all the time.

At the first gray light of dawn, I took the Deputy Sect Master and carried two baskets of potatoes down the mountain.

There was a small market nearby.

Not many people passed through, and it took until sunset to sell both baskets.

I used the money to buy a small piece of pork belly, planning to improve Zhou Yi’s meals when I got back.

The mountain road was long.

By the time I returned to the sect, it was already night.

Zhou Yi was standing in front of an extremely strange alchemy furnace.

Black smoke rose from the furnace.

It gave off an indescribable sense of pressure.

Zhou Yi looked perfectly calm as he tilted his head and asked,

“Master, you only picked me up yesterday. Why did you want to abandon me today?”

“Do you also despise me as a heretic?”