Villains, Stop Acting Up—Your Master Says Come Home and Farm - Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I walked over with the pork belly in my hand.

Then I rewarded him with a solid knuckle to the head.

“I leave you home alone for one day and you start playing with fire?”

“What even is this thing? It’s belching black smoke. Are you trying to burn my house down?”

“If you want to play with fire, go play in the empty lot outside.”

“Hurry up and clean this up. Once you’re done, wash your hands and get ready for dinner. We’re having braised pork today.”

Zhou Yi’s eyes instantly cleared. Clutching the little bump I’d knocked onto his head, he gave a tearful, aggrieved, “Oh.”

Then he happily trotted after me.

“Master, did you go out today to buy meat for me?”

“Obviously.”

“This piece is so small. Back at Yungui Sect, no one would even bother taking meat this tiny.”

“Then don’t eat it.”

“I’ll eat it, I’ll eat it. Master, aren’t you going to ask what I did with the pill furnace today?”

“Who knows what you were doing? But they say kids who play with fire wet the bed, so watch yourself.”

“…Master, I refined a Wuji Poison Pill. Anyone below the Nascent Soul Stage who takes it will die.”

“Hey, that’s useful. We’ve had rats in the storeroom lately. Give me two so I can poison them.”

“…”

“Oh. Sure.”

Zhou Yi was extremely gifted when it came to alchemy.

Especially poison refining.

So every time he refined some new pill, I would praise him.

“My heavens, our Zhou Yi is way too amazing! If this pill could kill only pests without poisoning the crops, that would be perfect. But it seems like no one can make a pill like that yet. I wonder if our Zhou Yi could do it?”

Zhou Yi said nothing.

But I could see the corners of his mouth quietly lifting.

After that, I usually wouldn’t see him for days.

When he finally appeared again, he would run up to me holding a little porcelain bottle.

“Master, Master, I made it. It only kills pests and doesn’t poison crops.”

I immediately held up the bottle and praised him to the skies.

By the time I was done, Zhou Yi looked drunk on compliments, his steps practically floating.

With Zhou Yi Brand Pesticide, our sect’s harvest doubled.

At this rate, it wouldn’t be long before we grew bigger, stronger, and reached new heights of glory!

Chapter 4

Life got a little easier.

Then I picked up another person.

This time, he was someone Xialan Sect had thrown away.

A young man born with a red mark on his forehead.

He had fallen from the sky, covered in whip wounds and barely alive.

After I brought him back, Zhou Yi was somewhat unhappy.

“Master, don’t drag every piece of trash you find back home. If Xialan Sect beat him up this badly and tossed him out, that means he’s no good. Throw him away. Don’t bring trouble on yourself.”

“If I’d been afraid of bringing trouble on myself back then, I never would have brought you home.”

Zhou Yi fell silent.

I went on, “Sigh. If only there were some medicine that could heal his wounds. But I heard that kind of miraculous elixir can only be refined by a grandmaster alchemist. I wonder how many potatoes I’d have to sell before I could afford to hire one.”

Zhou Yi immediately raised his hand.

“Me, me, me! Master, I can do it. I’m even better than a grandmaster.”

I widened my eyes until they sparkled, my face full of worship.

“Really? Our Zhou Yi can do that? Our Zhou Yi is that incredible? That’s wonderful. Then I’ll have to trouble our Zhou Yi.”

Zhou Yi chuckled and immediately ran off with his pill furnace to refine medicine.

His medicine worked remarkably well.

The man’s injuries were fully healed in half a month.

On the day he woke up, for convenience’s sake, I simply named him Zhou Er.

Zhou Er was even frostier than Zhou Yi had been when he first arrived.

He sat up in bed, his face guarded.

“Who are you? Where is my sword?”

I jerked my chin toward the courtyard outside, where Zhou Yi was using his sword to smash garlic.

“We’re having garlic pork ribs for lunch, so we borrowed your sword to smash the garlic.”

A vein jumped on Zhou Er’s forehead.

“You dare use my sword to smash garlic? I’ll kill you all!”

The words had barely left his mouth when Zhou Er’s stomach let out a loud growl.

It echoed through the room.

Extremely awkward.

I stood up and tossed him a set of clothes.

“Do whatever you want. But people who kill often know that killing is hard physical labor. You should eat your fill first.”

“We’re having garlic pork ribs and stir-fried pork today. I also steamed a few white-flour buns.”

“Want some?”

He swallowed.

After several rounds of mental struggle,

he put on the clothes that symbolized a disciple of our sect.