Why Is Mr. Handsome Always Angry? - Chapter 2

They say things shouldn’t happen more than three times.

I was starting to panic. But I would never admit it.

“DON’T TAKE OUT THE GUN!” I shouted the very second I opened my eyes.

He was still some distance away, standing in his original position with his arms folded.

“And don’t strangle me either,” I hurriedly added as he approached.

He considered that, then nodded.

I was thankful I could predict his actions. Thankful, too, that he was willing to listen.

Wait. If he was willing to listen…

Shouldn’t I be asking him not to kill me?

So I looked at him and asked very seriously, “Could you molest me a little before you get started?”

He stabbed me to death.

I had been careless.

I had accounted for the gun and his bare hands, but never imagined he could pull a dagger from his pocket.

And he hadn’t molested me at all!

At that thought, I burst into pathetic sobs.

“You’re crying?” A trace of surprise entered his cold voice. “Xu Ye, you can cry?”

“No, you don’t understand. These aren’t tears. This is my lost dignity.” Stubbornly, I refused to wipe my face.

Oh, right. My hands weren’t available for wiping.

“Dignity?” He frowned slightly.

“Dignity! There’s a gorgeous woman right in front of you, and you don’t have a single dirty thought about her! I’m a failure. A complete failure!”

“…”

I abruptly stopped crying. At last, I had caught the important part.

“Wait. What did you just call me? You know me?”

“Xu Ye,” he said coolly, “you’re about to die. What are you trying to pull now?”

Yes, my name was Xu Ye. When I was born, Dad was so happy he couldn’t get a word out—he just kept choking on his words. I had thought I would at least get one of the more normal characters pronounced Ye, meaning “also” or “radiance.” Luckily, he hadn’t burped or farted, or I might have ended up as Xu Burp or Xu Fart.

“My good man, perhaps you’ve got the wrong person. Maybe someone has the same name, and you’ve made a mistake…” I said hastily. “I’m probably not the one you want to kill. Which character are you using for Ye? Maybe you’re looking for a Xu Ye with a different Ye.”

“Xu Ye, stop pretending. This isn’t like you.” His patience with me seemed close to running out.

I had to survive. I needed a sensible plan.

Help. This was hard.

By now, I had no idea how many times I had returned to this moment.

My resistance to his face had grown strong enough that I could just about look at him without a nosebleed.

Why didn’t I beg for mercy, you ask?

Ridiculous. Do you think someone as proud as me would choose such a humiliating way to die?

Of course I would!

I forced out two tears and wailed sweetly, “Big brother! Daddy! Grandpa! Please be merciful and don’t kill me! I know someone as powerful as you could crush me as easily as an ant. Instead of wasting time killing me, why not enrich your life with something more challenging? Besides, if I die, the world will lose a gorgeous woman adored by everyone except you. That would be a loss for every straight man on earth!”

I babbled on and on. It seemed to work.

In my experience, he normally silenced me by force before I could finish three sentences.

This was the first time he had let me say so much.

“Fine. I won’t kill you.” His thin lips parted, and his voice sounded heavenly. “But you have to apologize to Huaming.”

“I will! Absolutely! I’ll go right now!” I was so happy I could hardly tell up from down.

Fuck. If I’d known groveling meant I wouldn’t die, I would have dropped to my knees and kowtowed the very first time! I wouldn’t have had to go through all these thrilling death loops!

“But who’s Huaming?” I asked.

He glanced at me. I saw murder flashing in his eyes.

I capitulated at once. “I know, I know! I was joking!”