Yingying and the Dog - Chapter 9

Chapter 9

My family had become relatives of the imperial family.

My mother stroked the dragon-and-phoenix-carved stone pier by the palace gate, her eyes shining.

“Hey, Erni, can we move this back home to weigh down the pickled cabbage vat?”

I whispered, “Ma, don’t call me Erni. I’m called Yingying now.”

“Right, girl. You’ve made something of yourself. You’ve brought your ma so much pride!”

Back in the day, I had been the most filial child in our village.

When the eunuch in charge of selecting beauties for the palace saw that I had both looks and bearing, he took a liking to me at once.

But he thought my name was too vulgar and too ugly.

He pinched his fingers into an orchid gesture and said that when I grinned like a fool, my laughter was as clear as an oriole’s song. So I became Yingying.

Xiao Huan comforted me. “Erni sounds pretty nice too. Low-key, with depth.”

“My childhood name was the really ugly one. It was Little Dog.”

I stabbed him in the back without hesitation. “It really is awful. Here, boy, here, boy, tsk tsk tsk.”

Xiao Huan: “…Woof.”

Xiao Huan exercised his imperial power and granted titles of nobility to my entire family.

My old Lu family instantly became the most powerful people in court.

It scared my honest parents half to death.

My reputation as the Demon Consort spread even further.

The Chancellor did not agree with Xiao Huan making me empress.

But Xiao Huan was determined to go against him, sweeping away the useless son-in-law energy of the past.

He even brought me along to morning court.

Xiao Huan shifted his backside and gave me half of the dragon throne.

Like some country bumpkin who had never seen the world, I touched the dragon throne, delighted beyond belief.

This angle was amazing.

I could see every little movement from the civil and military officials below with perfect clarity.

The Chancellor exploded. “Lady Lu! Lady Lu! How dare you!”

His face flushed crimson with rage, as if he were about to pass out.

I asked politely, “What’s wrong with you?”

Xiao Huan waved a hand. “Hurry and get the Chancellor a physician.”

A young eunuch carried away the Chancellor, who seemed to have lost all his schemes and strength.

The Chancellor stared fixedly at me, hating me as if I had killed his father.

“Lady Lu, just you wait!”

The Chancellor threw down his vicious threat.

Xiao Huan rubbed his chin.

Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

Never mind. I have a cheat.

As it turned out, His Majesty’s premonition was very accurate.

That night, I had eaten too much and was taking a walk through the imperial garden to digest.

Suddenly, someone climbed over the wall.

I was dumbfounded.

My path into the palace had been anything but easy.

I had never imagined someone could just flip over a wall and get in.

Were the patrolling guards made of paper?

By the moonlight, the more I looked at the person before me, the more familiar he seemed.

It was actually the escaped Former Emperor!

“Talented Lady Lu.”

He swept a gloomy gaze over me from head to toe.

“I hear you have already gained the rebel’s trust and will be made empress soon?”

“Not bad.”

I was completely confused. “Brother, what exactly are you trying to do?”

“When I raise an army and enter the capital, you and the Chancellor will coordinate from the inside and outside to take down the rebel.”

“When the time comes and I reclaim the throne, I will make you an Imperial Consort. I will also reward your whole family with twenty taels of gold.”

This gloomy freak was extremely arrogant.

I understood. This was the Chancellor’s revenge against me.

He and the Former Emperor were in this together.

He had sent the Former Emperor to turn me, confuse me, and steal away everything I had.

Before I could think further, Xiao Huan’s inner voice suddenly came from behind me.

Laundry Powder isn’t home, so I came out for a little wander.

Hey, isn’t that Lu Yingying? Watch me pull off an invincible Thomas spin and run into her by coincidence.

Holy crap, why is there a man here? I don’t want to live anymore.

Oh no.

If His Majesty got angry in a moment, he would definitely start pestering me again.

To quickly clear myself of all suspicion, I shouted, “Die, remnant of the previous dynasty!”

Then I grabbed a brick from the ground and smashed it toward the Former Emperor’s head.

I was just a weak woman.

If you had anything to say, you could say it to the brick in my hand.

The Former Emperor let out a short “urgh.”

Then he collapsed to the ground.

I beat him to the accusation. “Your Majesty, he was harassing me.”

Xiao Huan was startled.

But his focus went wildly off course.

“Yingying, you won’t beat me like that in the future too, will you?”

I tossed the brick away at once.

“Your Majesty, what are you talking about? This has nothing to do with me. I merely coaxed him to sleep.”

Xiao Huan said, “You’ve never referred to yourself as ‘this consort’ before.”

“Lu Yingying, why are you acting so guilty? Is this person very important to you?”

“Who is he? And you even coaxed him to sleep! You’ve never sung that kind of lullaby for me!”

My head throbbed.

I backhanded Xiao Huan across the face.

“Are you done being annoying? Shut up!”

Xiao Huan clutched his face, incredulous.

Oh my mother, Lu Yingying actually hit me.

I realized this was practically an offense against my superior and had only just started feeling guilty.

Wonderful! I just happened to awaken a bit of a masochistic streak!

Keep beating me hard, my master-baby-wife!

Sigh.

That moment of guilt was completely wasted.